I am now 9 days gamble free. I have gamblocked a couple of days ago. Was a funny feeling of what the hell will i do now and relief that i know i cant do anymore damage.
What sticks though is now the dire financial situation i am in. 17k debt with a wage that is low. I have sat and made a financial plan and if i stick to it i can be debt free in 14months. That means living on next to nothing once everythings paid and so when i look ahead it all seems very bleak. I'd like to fast forward a year having stuck to my plan but of course that is not possible and a day at a time it is.
I have gambled for the most part 8 years, the last two being the worst. In that time i won 28k and put it all back again and more. That money would of cleared my debt and gave me fresh start. I feel like i am traumatised. I am trying really really hard to focus at work, i am currently in the middle of a qualification that needs completing by April. My work and study has suffered during all the gambling. I just feel so fatigued and worried about money that i cant concentrate. I need to take my mind off of money but you havent got any you certaintly think about it.
Does anyone else feel like their concentration has totally gone? Any tips on remaining focused?
I am 9 days in and not feeling weak in the sense of wanting to gamble. But weak, tired and unable to concentrate on anything but the debt ahead of me.
Yes, this was me last week, and last time I got this far (19gf) I relapsed and piled on more debt and guilt. I do a very busy job which exhausts me normally, and I can't make bad judgements at work, but this month has been horrendous. I alternate between thinking of throwing away my last ten pound on a slot because, well 'I'm due some luck' to convinced that I deserve to be miserable and so wallowing in it and making myself ill. I'm saved by this forum at the minute; by the thought that even though I will be paying off debts for years, if I can stay GF I should see a small improvement in finances by March.... it just seems so long away.
Just a thought, have you considered lengthening pay off time so you're not crippling yourself financially and can reward yourself time to time? I'm just thinking that if you are miserable and bored you may get more temptation? That’s my only suggestion though, and I may not be the best person... good luck!
Hi, You asked if anyone else has felt or feels like their concentration is totally gone. o*g , for sure. As soon as I am able to get a few months away from gambling my brains feels like it's regaining funtionality and I surely hope that I can see what my cognition and emotions are like after a year away. You can do this and I totally hear ya about the hardship and struggle ... I'm glad that we have some success stories on this site and also people at GA meetings if you go . It helps me to see that it well only get better with out gambing but god, I know, it can be hard day to day. Stay strong. Take care. tara2
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