My luck is that bad I wrote a long diary of my history on here, then lost it all in the click of a button b4 I had actually posted it!
I don't have the energy to write it all again but I'm basically back here after a year and a half "in recovery".
Financially things have been much worse. I am in a hole short term but nothing major. Mentally however, I cannot see any recovery and I really think iv actually lost my mind.
I have spent the last few weeks supposedly wanting to stop
Yet, in the hope of making a few hundred quid iv actually lost more than double what I needed!
Is this really bad luck or karma?. Its not like I'm winning and spending again which has always been my cycle. I can't actually win a penny.
I'm starting to feel I'm actually addicted to losing rather than just gambling. There's even a voice in my head with the Turn of every card, telling me it's a loss b4 it even has. With every spin I hear the same voice. It's not saying "please a win" it actually wants to lose. Am I actually addicted to the feeling of desperation because I have no other emotion left?
Anyway iv started this thread to see if it helps. Iv gambled today so I guess I'm back to day 0.
Tomorrow is another day,.and if I gamble anymore this weekend,.I'll not only just ruin easter for my kids, I.could put my job on the line.
I'm feeling hopeless right now x
Hello jw1976,
It sounds like you made a very important observation of your feelings in relation to gambling. It is possible that an emotional pull towards loosing is driving your need to gamble and that can be resolved with the right support. GamCare provides counselling sessions to help you overcome the problem and you may also benefit from long term therapy in order to break this cycle.
You are welcome to get in touch and discuss this with an advisor. Lines are open every day of the week from 8am until midnight and you may use the Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or the Netline.
Best wishes,
Forum Admin
Hi jw1976
I have just read your post and can completely relate. I think expressing how you feel is very brave and you should be proud of yourself.
I haven't had counselling through gamcare but i know from experince with another problem that the support therapists can give can be life changing so i would definately give it a go.
Best wishes
Becky
You commented on my thoughts thread that you cannot change. Why do you think that? Things maybe very diffiicult to change but they are possible. What is it that is holding you back to committing to change?
I have just saw the replies to my thread, apologies for looking so ignorant and thankyou.
I really am determined and haven't gambled or more importantly I havent wanted to so I'm feeling hopeful.
Day@atime Ill have to look for my post but I think I was referring to things in my life rather than my attitude or gambling. You made a lot of sense in that we need to make changes and I know my relationship with my partner is my main problem. I can't solve this but it's complicated.
Financially I can't leave and he refuses to. I do love him but unless we take a break we are destroying each other.
By beating the gambling tho long term I can get there one way or another. I just want to be normal whatever that is!
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
