Played football last night for first time in about 3-4 months was hard work! But another step in the right direction and also had a good evening afterwards chilling with friends in the new home!
Feeling quite passionate and motivated to find a new job that reflects my skills, experience and newly gained degree. Something in mental health linked to sport would be great.
Working today and tomorrow only 6 hour shifts but means little money spent and also money earnt!
Feeling great this morning! Hoping to keep moving forward with my life.
Hi there
Wow. You sound in such a good place now. Well done. I particularly liked this statement you made "but I knew these thoughts would come and i've planned for them". Thinking it through to manage your impulse control is so good. Really inspiring to read your diary.
Thanks, yeah I talked to my counsellor a few weeks ago and think it's important to take things a day at a time but also think about when triggers could arise and indeed urges and if you prepare for them it's easier to overcome when they come about!
Just been working things out and in november I had 4 payday loans, 2 store cards and 3 credit cards and now all that is remaining is £390.00 out of all those which I think I can clear by end of july! what a mess I was in no way will I be going back down that road! clearing the remaining amount would leave me with just an overdraft and one other credit card which there is no rush to pay back! feels great typing that.
Looking forward to transferring work over to the city I've moved to then can really crack on with enjoying life and keep moving forward! played football for the first time in months friday night as well i'm sore but again its another social activity achieved!
80 days gamble free!
Although recovery is great some days are a struggle especially with anxiety, today i've felt run down, tired, stressed and anxious possibly due to the amount of hours i've worked last two weeks and constantly having to organise things like moving out, setting up bills etc, reducing debts, and commuting to work and new house. One of those days, I hope tomorrow will feel better, glad to be at home from work now can shut off from the world for a bit sometimes things can be a bit overwhelming!
Still on the whole a lot to be positive about just today has been a struggle I don't wish to run back to gambling which is a good thing so it's another day ticked off gamble free! Looking forward to Friday coming round as it will be the start of three well needed days off
Had a cracking sleep last night but a very tough shift at work today still felt a little anxious but through another day gamble free!
Busy few days to come then off work from friday to monday which should be good to have some space to relax!
Another long day and commute home from work done! Gamble free once more, this week has been tough not felt great and unfortunately had to rearrange my counselling that was planned for tomorrow to the following week due to work commitments! Think I just need a rest and a few days off work to be honest at least I can now cope and deal with all sorts of situations, challenges and feelings without resorting to gambling though.
Through it all i'm still smiling and moving forward though, I have a lot to be thankful of and to be proud of.
I managed to organise having my counselling last night, my eigth session was quite intense and challenging! get asked quite a lot of personal questions and discuss feelings so can be tough knowing the answers!
I think the pressure of work and doing a lot of hours has been a trigger for anxiety, which can trigger urges and wanting to escape and maybe down the line think about gambling but I do feel strong, motivated and don't wish to gamble. Sometimes life is just a bit difficult regardless of if your in recovery or not but with this addiction you have to constantly plan, keep barriers in place to keep you safe and cope with feelings so that you don't relapse I feel.
I'm off work now until monday and looking forward to socialising with some friends and spending time in the new house. I think the counselling has saved my life in some ways not particularly because of some amazing advice or ground-breaking stuff but just little bits here and there, encouragement and having someone to offload to.
I get my uni results next thursday which is something to be excited about, felt a bit sorry for myself this week, recovery is a rollercoaster of emotions at time but deep down i'm more relaxed, motivated, calm and happier and once I transfer all my work over to the city and live properly in my new place life should be a lot more settled and exciting for me.
Very much looking forward. Winning at last. not far away from 100 days gamble free never thought I would write that!
A weekend of drinking and socialising with friends and spending too much! so today will be spent chilling watching sport and films! had one or two urges sometimes they seem to strike from nowhere! Coping okay though. Seem to have had some benefits from counselling earlier in the week sometimes the things you talk about take a couple of days to sink in or understand. Recovery continues to be something I learn about each day as staying gamble free can be testing at times.
87 days gamble free!
Cheers dont think spending most of it on booze was the right direction as I think ive got a two day hangover and im getting too old for these nights out now haha
Been having a look at a few things to start doing now im only working and not studying so ive made a start on a list...
100 things to do in 1000 days should be pretty interesting and exciting!
Heres to a gamble free monday!
Quick update still gamble free...
Just got my uni results and I am now the proud owner of a 1st class honours degree!! Absolutely delighted and proud. Worked so hard for it!
Thankyou! that is the plan
Well it's been an emotional rollercoaster has recovery and so to life at times, I am very thankful that for the key moments in my final year I remained gamble
free no more so than since March onwards where the volume of work was incredibly high and challenging!
There have been many challenging aspects such as stress of moving out, a challenging job, getting a new bank card, going past a bookies unexpectedly, coping with low moods, adjusting to spending money again, filling time, enjoying spare time, unexpected urges. However, thanks to my determination, resilience and the promise of a more fulfilled life and a better future I have kept going. Even in relapse I never gave up trying I just didnt have the skills to cope. This time there is hopefully no going back!!
Many times I had despaired as i stumbled into one payday loanafter another, more money on cred cards etc, more lies, secrecy, anxiety, shame, hurt and worry until I became tired and didnt want to live life this way anymore.
Starting counselling has been an absolute eye opener, the support, strong advice and tools I have been given have helped me to reach this point in my recovery, my parents have encouraged me along the way, so to have people on here and I have ultimately taken responsibilty for my recovery and life.
I sit here 91 days gamble free, recently moved to a new city with a first in my degree, with debts decreasing, proud, feeeling rewarded for my honesty, hard work, commitment and set to embark on an exciting future!
I still take things one days at a time and i am always wary of relapse but I can cope with lifes stresses a lot better and realise that for me abstaining from gambling is the way forward for me.
Winning at last.
WOW WOW WOW 🙂
That's fantastic news...Will sound a bit crazy but I'm grinning from ear to ear! So proud of you 🙂
Abstaining is my choice too...How wonderful that we have the tools to choose now! Keep winning - ODAAT
Thanks you have supported and encouraged me on this journey!
Been buzzing since i got these results!! Beint gamble free must have played a huge role in achieving this!
Got paid yesterday and paid all my holiday off, a bit skint now especially after moving house but got to say no real urges to win back what ive spent or chase a big win to make up for being skint!
93 days gamble free one week from the century!
really liked your post Stone Roses i am on day 4 of gamble free and feeling very low i will not gamble
Nice one
I can imagine I found the earliest days the toughest but things take time to improve, keep determined and put every barrier in place to keep yourself safe and you will see the rewards. All the best on your journey 🙂
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