It’s better to ramble than gamble - 10 yers on

My name is Martin and I’m a compulsive gambler. 

 

I came to this site 10 years to the day when my world exploded, I said then I want to post on the success thread 10 years on here’s that post. At the time I was hopeful I could stop gambling but that was it hopeful I’d tried before but was never successful. 

 

What changed this time I suppose I had to deal with the consequences yes I had lost money plenty and money that was meant to be for a wedding but more importantly I had lost my partner kicked out of my house and had to leave my son there. It was the first time I had been made accountable for my actions. At the time I thought it would blow over but it didn’t. Whilst I was made accountable I had to accept accountability and that was the key accepting I had a problem that I needed to fix. 

 

For the first time I was honest and that was hard I started my diary and got some amazing advice and built a support network in here and I also started going to GA and the two combined was the winning formula. It was easy but I threw myself into both. I had advice while I would never saying a agreed with it all on the most part I put it in place after all it was advice from people who had been where I am it might not have the same situations it was relatable. 

 

It took time for things to change it not a quick fix and by no means happened over night and I had to work at it as I said before the key accepting if nothing changes nothing changes. I had to move back into my parents hand over my finances and put as many blocks in place as i could and I did them all but the biggest block of all for my was being honest with my family and friends. That was the hardest but ti my the most important it made my accountable to them and I didn’t want to let them down and I didn’t. 

 

I was in this site either the forum or the chat rooms daily for around 4 years at first taking the advice then supporting others and passing on the advice i had been given. I slowly stopped posting if I’m honest I got infuriated with people making the same mistakes and I found it wasn’t helping me. I do regret that at times but I had to be selfish and look out for me and I felt I was in a place where I could cope. 

 

With GA I did 5 year and missed a handful of meetings and never missed one for 18 months and that was only when I was in hospital I was gutted I missed one even though it as unavoidable. Covid ended GA for me I tried the online meetings but wasn’t for me and it made me realise I could cope without them. Again i regret this I give a lot to GA but it give me even more back I made some good friends and do at the times feel if let them down but I had to do what was right for me. 

 

So 10 years on where am I? I have my own place, more money in the bank than I ever have had in not bragging there but it’s the truth I’m not throwing it away before I stopped I’d try and win money to buy something now if I want something I just get it, in no way am I silly with money but I can get something without having to justify it. My son who at the start I thought I had lost is now 22 and I have earned his trust back it took a while but it’s stronger than ever. He was always a very clever lad and I did worry when we split it would effect him but it never did he excelled in his GCSE’s his A levels and has gone on to get a degree coming out with a first and after having a year off he’s just ti about to start a masters in the classics which I still don’t understand what it is lol. His goal is to become a university lecturer and u have no doubt he will achieve this. He’s pretty much self sufficient but by stopping gambling I can now support him rather than stealing money from his money box which I shamefully did. I paid ti take on holiday last year for my 50th with the lads to Benidorm last year which he loved. 

 

Talking of holidays I probably have 3 a year im actually writing this while sat beside the pool in Portugal. 

 

I’m single and to be honest I’m happy with that I have a few relationship one I felt was serious until I discovered I was in the other end of the lying and cheating that I once did and realised how hurtful it is. 

 

So to finish I’d just like to thank all the people on here who supported me over the years both members and the admin who do a fantastic job. 

 

I now genuinely believe I have aren’t the right to post in the success stories thread but be no means am I complacent the urges don’t come along very often but sometimes things will pop in my mind or I might have a dream but I have the coping mechanisms in place now and even 10years in I still have all my blocks in place other than I now have control of my finances.

 

I’ll leaving there but if your just starting out or still struggling I hope this offers some encouragement that it can be done. Never give up on giving up. 

 

So 10 years on it’s still and always will be better to ramble than gamble.