Its hard gaining Trust will it return?

Hi Kirsty

I think you've probably put into words what most CG's wanting to recover feel. I don't think there are many who wouldn't want to turn the clock back and undo what they've done and been and restore the trust. Acknowleding they may not be able to is a big step.

Don't unsubscribe. Part of recovery might well be hearing things you don't want to but further down the line I've seen so many here say they needed to hear them and recognise the truth of them as the gambling fog recedes.

Stick around Kirsty...This is an unusual thread in as much as both of you are here & we have both sides of the pain. Sometimes things are going to be said that feel like we're taking sides but they won't be said with malice! Just like you gambled without realising the affect it was having, in recovery we can become very tunnel visioned & sometimes say & feel things that aren't necessarily helpful for our loved ones. Seeing comments that reinforce your feelings of guilt will hurt but learn from them & don't take them personally...They open the lines of communication & that is a very good thing for us who have been embroiled in our secret worlds for so long.

Sorry did not mean to cause so much angst.

Kirsty - I have a son that I love with all my heart who has been battling this addiction for 10 years. My comments were intended for Melissa. I know it hurts you when you read but that was never the intent. Truly the best thing she can do for your relationship is put her needs first. She will be able to support you much better coming from a place of strength.

Melissa - it doesn't mean you don't love and care for somebody deeply if you take the pressure and spotlight off the addiction. You both have your own work to do with this addiction.

Cathyx

me is I'm starting to think why I should bother caring for someone who cares very little for me yeah she's paranoid and insecure but whatever words she says to me is apparently ok? Im not a bad why do I hurt so much !!!!!! Forget this

Good luck to everyone over and out

Hi again Melissa,

I think you should go ahead and seek whatever help you need, whether that be talking to a counsellor, or joining Gamanon. There is help available.

Kirsty, being very honest and this is just my opinion, I think it would be better if you didn't read the thread. I don't mean that in a nasty way, but reading about yourself from another person's perspective, is very hard to do. On top of that reading comments from others, where every one seems like they are against you, is worse. It is not helping your self esteem or confidence. Use your own diary for support and chatroom.

Melissa, this I belive is your space to talk about how you are feeling, without any comeback from it. I don't think it is healthy for ye or the Gamcare community to see a raging domestice, it just makes things worse in 'real life'. It is clear that your both having some serious issues at present, which I appreciate. I think you both need to breathe, take stock, and seek professional help.

Take care of both of you.

Julie x

Sorry no there's no domestic i wish there was that at least I'd have some words out of her but it doesn't matter she chooses to give me the silent treatment that is up to her