My Son has just turned 18 August 2016. He started gambling," because he could" and thought he wd be able to stop like he did with scratch cards aged 16.However that is not the case . He has Attachment Disorder and ADHD (High end of scale)> He is very impulsive and currently un medicated (Stopped meds when left school - was discharged from Camhs). I am trying to get him an appt with Adult services, but has taken ages to persuade him he needs them. He banned himself from bookies, but later admitted it was only as wanted sub from me for Lunches. He is still going to an amuzement arcade. He works full-time, but amusement arcade is in the high st where he works. This is his 4th Job in a yr and he is frightened of losing it (lost last job for being jokey, hyper and that was interpreted as "Not taking the job seriously"). He loves the job, but constant worry is affecting his concentration and efficiency. He says he feels accepted and safe in the Amusement arcade as he is "friends" with the staff. One member of staff has said I could ban him as he has special needs, but I know he will go elsewere as he is so oppositional.
Advice please:Should I ban him?,
Can I control his money in anyway other than asking him to give it to me as that didn't work?
How do I stop him getting pay day loans- He is 18 ?
Currently , going around in a circle of gets paid,spends money,pays rent, phone etc to me, then gambles. eventually loses all money usually within 2 weeks, gets pay day loan, buys Lunches, things he wants/needs, then gambles again-Trigger seems to be getting money (He has always been an impulsive spender since he got his DLA in his own bank acct aged 16)
I am Single and Phyisically Disabled from birth and currently unable to travel on public transport to get to a relatives meeting or Counselling as the nearest is in London and I can't drive there xx
Hi Sally
Sorry to hear of the situation you are in with regards your son, I don't know what to say other than I would definitely ring the gamcare helpline and they will be able to advise and give help to you and your son. I would also try and take control of his finances and if he wants money ask him to prove what he has spent the money on with receipts, that way you are helping him. Yes I would take him with you and ban him from all arcades in your area. Hope you can get things sorted.
All the Best
Darren
Hi Sally
I too am so sorry to hear of your situation. Agree with Woodley re calling Gamcare. You have a lot on your plate and hopefully they can give you a start. I am not in UK so have no idea how you start getting support which you definitely need!
Please keep reaching out and take care of yourself.
Cathyx
Hi Sally
Welcome to the forum you will find alot of support here from people who understand.
As Cathy has mentioned I would encourage you to call our helpline and speak to an adviser who can offer confidential advice, information and emotional support.
As you are unable to travel for face to face counselling an adviser can also refer you for online counselling. It can be helpful to have counselling support even if you are not the person who gambles, to help you cope with the situation. GamCare offers online counselling sessions via webcam (currently through software called Zoom). You can access this service through a PC, laptop, smartphone, iPad or Android tablet.
You can speak to an adviser on our freephone number 0808 8020 133 or on the netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline#.VBhpbfldXww
Best wishes
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