28 years old and scared s***less

I have been gambling for 7 years now, started at 17 and I’m now 24. Today was the biggest downfall I had, not in the sense at the money lost but it felt like my life had ended. With courage I had to tell family. I am in now 19k debt, my brother and my mum will control my money. I just wish I spoken sooner, when you speak it can get sorted but it’s about being able to speak.

thanks 

jee

Hi mamab91, 

I know what your going through with your partner, 3 times I relapsed. The first time I told my partner he was devastated but forgave me. I felt the relief, the weight of my shoulders, was a fresh start for me. Few months past I was back to my old ways, set deposit limits but opened so many accounts and had to tell my partner again. I was so beat about it, he lost the chance of getting a car through finance because of my bank statements full of gambling so I had to tell him. I was so ashamed but he managed to forgive me again. 

Yip I failed myself again, thought I was in control, my partner knew I gambled again but now and then was his thoughts. He was wrong I had opened so many accounts even in his name and it completely spiralled out of control. 

Again I told him I had gone back to my old ways, he knew already, his bank statements where full of my gambling but he was afraid to say anything in case I went mad I told him after I realised there was help, other people like myself who have been in my situation. Before I thought I could do it myself, control myself and I was so wrong.

Money was disappearing left right and centre from my bank account and majority of it being my children’s money for gambling. Kids where coming to me saying they need new shoes and clothes and food cupboard was going dry and i was telling them “sorry no money just now” there would have been had I not gambled almost everything we had. 

Thats when I realised enough is enough, I do have the money to look after my family as that’s what it’s for, to feed and clothe us as well as keep the roof over our heads etc not feed it in to a gambling addiction and walk away with nothing but guilt and misery. The smile on my children’s face with brand new shoes and clothes and things they really need as well as food in the fridge/ cupboards and the bills all paid and up to date aswell as spare cash to build up with is a much better and positive feeling everyday compared to shoving it in to a game and not having a positive side or nothing to show for it other than the misery and guilt that it could have went on something much better like a treat for yourself or a smile from your children. 

Come clean with your partner, let him know you are seeking professional help for your addiction. Sign up for every bit of help that you need. Keep an every day diary of your own and right in it everyday about your feelings and your progress and all your positives of every day with out gambling. 

Right now I have been 4 days free of gambling and I have a personal book of my own, my partner is free to read it whenever he feels. I also signed up here and I have read through several of other peoples posts and find them quite the eye opener compare to my situation and it seems to be helping in some form of way. People in worse situations than my own and they are pulling through this. Also videos and other gambling addiction recovery stories online are real eye openers to. I check in on this page almost all the time since I signed up and I’m finding it helpful. 

Still very early days for me I know but I’m hoping my strategies to over come this wicked cycle that has controlled my life for so long will help and build my family’s bank account back up again for happier times for us and not for a gambling game that is never going to make me happy in life. 

I really hope you over come this to mamab91, just stay strong, get the right help for yourself. I really hope this is a help for you. Wishing you all the best xx

There is always another online casino to sign up to. The only way to STOP yourself gambling online when the urge to gamble next strikes (which it will) is to sign up to gamstop. This will stop you gambling at any casino that is registered with the gambling commission... which is 99% of them. 

all the best... you can do it

Thanks S.A i signed up to GamStop last night online is only problem so that should help massively. 

I can relate to you so well. I am a 34 year old mother of 2 boys. I have been gambling for 5 years and have a crippling 30k debt along with horrible mental health issues made worse by my gambling. 

I have stopped on and off over those years but last month was the final straw for me. I have joined Gamstop and also have Gamban on my phone/laptop etc. Have a chat with the lovely advisors here they can send you a link for gamban which gives you a year free blocking on all of your devices. This is another block in place which will help you a huge deal. 

Everyone here from advisors to fellow GA’s on the forum are full of help, advice, and support. 

This site is a godsend so don’t ever fear to reach out. We are all here for you. 

Just checking back in tomorrow i will be 1 week GF. 

I feel actually excited to see that little number on my profile tick over to a 7. Hopefully it will only keep getting bigger! 

Ive been flat out at work and forced myself to restart running in an evening with the dog, if im running im not online plus the health benefits can't hurt.

I still havent told my husband i relapsed im hoping to get a bit further down the road so i have some substantial evidence to show him how serious i am about quitting for good. 

Hope everyone else is having a good week and managing to keep busy xx