Hello,
I have gambled since I was 18, now 34 years old. I have a beautiful wife and two wonderful kids. By now I should be living the most awesome life, but I'm not. Gambling is the reason and has ruined my life since I was 18. I want the rest of my life to be good.
I have been on this site before using a different name. I have tried to stop gambling before. My wife knows all about my gambling, my parents knew I used to gamble (they don't know the pain and problems I have now). The person who has suffered the most, undoubtedly, is my wife. I'm so ashamed of the way I have treated her. She has stuck by me, but I know that another shameful incident and she will be gone, and that will be it.
Not going to write a huge amount here. But I long to be the person I used to be, and the person I could be. I have a good job and great family. But I spend nearly every penny I have on gambling. I'm ashamed to say that I get paid monthly at midnight. By 9am that day I've probably lost everything. This happened last week when I got paid. I pay my standing orders as soon as the money comes in before I bet, so I send x amount to my wife. But I could and should be sending double. I should be in a nicer house and have a better car. I want to get over the anxiety that has been caused by my gambling - this stems from constantly worrying that people find out about me.
Above all I want to be proud of who I am as a dad and husband.
Today I asked my wife to give me £20 as this will be my last ever bet. She relented, eventually, and gave me the money. She probably cried when doing so. I need to make sure that is the last £20 I ever bet.
I have signed up for gamstop - so won't be able to bet online from tomorrow. Online betting has always been my thing. It's time to accept that I won't win back the money I lost. And that's a lot.
My name is Alan, and I want to be me again.
Thanks for reading.
Hi Alan,
It’s good to have you back on the site and an important step forward to becoming the person you want to be. You’ve made a great start on the road to recovery by signing up to Gamstop and participating in the forum. You sound like you in a place where your motivation is high, have you contemplated a referral for treatment? This can either be face to face, over the computer or also on the phone with specialised practitioners.
If you would like help to find your old account, you can email @gamcare.org.uk">forum.admin@gamcare.org.uk from the email address you used to set up your previous account.
We are always available on the NetLine and/or HelpLine on 0808 8020 133 to go through and discuss all the options that are available to support you and your wife.
Best wishes
ForumAdmin
I guess this is a reson to start new life without gambling.
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