Im absolutely devasted with myself yet again another Lapse, it's embarrassing and I feel absolutely broken. I need to start again from today, I can't do this self destructive process anymore. I want to feel good again and feel happy again and gotta make it my firm resolve to not get complacent. So here it is again that today 7th April 2026 I'm not going to be playing fruit machines again. I'm done with the anxiety, anguish and suffering it's caused me. Absolutely done. One day at a time, my first goal will be 2 weeks, then 1 month. Thereafter each n every 2 weeks will be a goal marker for progress. Here goes...
Hi Jenny. Sorry to hear this but the most important part of your journey is to never give up “giving up”! Over the years I have lapsed here and there and I think this can actually be a good thing. For me anyway. It just strengthened my determination to quit for good.
Can I just ask however, do you have all your vital blocks in place to prevent you from gambling any further? Willpower for people like us (especially at the beginning of our journey) is just not enough 😔. Once you have every block in place, I can honestly say to you that things will most definitely improve for you financially, physically and mentally.
Wishing you strength and determination.🙏
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
Hi Jenny, I didn't let it get to me when I relapsed last week, everyone on the Gamcare site will be here right by you propping you up with no judgement xx
Hi Jenny
Please don't be embarrassed and I really feel for you as we are friends. As Pink Lady said, the main thing is you are on here, have picked yourself up and back into recovery.
Don't take this the wrong way as it is said with love, you aren't perfect...none of us are...on here or out there. It's all about progress and not perfection. You only have to get recovery right, once. That's not the first time, second time or however many times...it's only the last time !
I don't know what your friction looks like so I can only let you know mine. I also check mine to make sure I am a minimum of half an hour away from a bet to make sure there is time to change my mind.
So, the usual blocks (even ones I haven't used for gambling in years)
Gamban, Gamstop, Moses (Think that has changed name) and Sense. I also got myself onto gamprotect by complaining enough. I self excluded with all accounts I had as well. Sent them emails to say what a bad state I was in. Gambling transactions block at the bank and switched to Monzo as it has no branches only post office. Limited cash withdrawals down to the minimum.
Then I have accountability. My partner can look at my banking app whenever she wants. I get receipts for anything I spend and don't carry much cash. In fact I just carry £5 notes for my GA meetings to donate one at each. I also show my mother my banking app transactions whenever I see her.
The quickest way for me to place a bet would be out of area. Anything else online would take longer and planning. So in my car there is a post it note on the dashboard which says...don't do it.
How does your friction look and are you able to build more multi-layers on top ? If you go to arcades can you self exclude by going in ? Can you somehow remove the ease of getting there ?
Thank you so much pink lady misty willow and stuart
You all inspire me so much. I spoke to my therapist on Reframe coaching this morning and I look at my mistakes and learn something from each one. There were 2 things I couldve done yesterday after working easter Monday I couldve transfered my car insurance money to my partner or I couldve taken my phone home before going out, it's the fact I had access and it was a bank holiday n one thing led to another. I've put extra bans in place to protect myself but after 3 weeks I think I started to get complacent and you think your going to be okay but we're not so I know now it's literally not possible to take out my normal phone but I'm ok with the Nokia phone as no access to cash. I told my partner as soon as I got home that I lapsed and knew that I needed to get back to focusing on continuing to not gamble. I like what you said pink lady never give giving up and thank u MistyWillow, I was eager to get bk on chatroom today, and thankyou Stuart yes back on recovery, it's what I really want. Ive seen the destruction it causes,to my mental wellbeing and others too who've gambled n lost happiness, it's soul destroying it really is. everyone in these places look so depressed it's not a place of enjoyment just self demoralisation and hurt. But I feel positive today and I gotta keep going. Chat to you all soon thankyou again so much for all your inspiration and support
Jennyx
Hi Jenny
Sounds like you can get some more friction in place. Was it online gambling ? With Gamban you shouldn't be able to do that ?
One thing that has really helped rewire my mind is my morning and evening routine through the 12 steps of GA. It's simple but it really works
When I wake up I do a ten minute guided meditation on YouTube. I say the serenity prayer and it's a way of life. Then I write a list of ten things I'm grateful for. This starts each day of with a clear mind and thought pattern
Then at the end of the day I do my ten points inventory. This is where I think back through the day to see if any of my character defects have surfaced and need work on. This has rewired my brain away from gambling and allowed me to work through the reasons why I gambled
Just try to identify the reasons that led to your relapse or what triggered you to gamble I know what has triggered me in past was drinking in pub with racing on tv so I addressed that wishing you the best
Hi Jenny
How are you doing now and pushing forward ?
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