Any else repair their marriage

Hi Brandyn, 

Well done for putting steps in place to stop gambling. It's never too late to change, and you can move forward and recover from this, even if it will take some time. The first step is being aware and open about the problem and then taking the steps to make the changes. 

As an affected other of someone who gambles, I will say that whilst relationships can be repaired, it's not easy, and it can take a very long time to get the trust back. Every person's situation is different, just like everyone's relationship is. 

I have been with my partner for 3 years and I only found out about his gambling 18 months into our relationship (we were living together). He has been in recovery for the past 18 months and has had 2 relapses. The first time was the hardest because it was a huge financial loss and almost broke our relationship and the second one was still painful but more tolerable. 

No one can tell you what to do, you and your wife will have to work together if that's what you both want, but it won't be easy, so it's about whether you are both willing for it to work. 

I don't know what your financial situation is, but since my partner has been in recovery, I keep our finances entirely separate, and I'm planning on buying a property in my name to give myself that security and peace of mind. We don't have children, but I have made it very clear that that option is off limits unless his financial situation changes and, unfortunately, time isn't on our side for that. I've had to put a lot of boundaries in place to make things work, and I make sure we are transparent with each other about everything. I also think having couples counselling has helped us massively because we have both explored our own backgrounds and faced past traumas which have enabled us to work through things. 

I'm wishing you all the best of luck with your recovery and future and I really hope it works out for you both. 

Kind regards, 

Jade

Hi Brandyn

Congratulations on the steps you are taking and recognising the mental side of gambling. No it's never too late to give up and in terms of your wife, there are no guarantees but you need to work on yourself so that the rest of the world benefits. Jade is more of an expert on the subject than me but it definitely takes time. As per your GA meetings you need to take one day at a time. I don't know when you abstained but as time goes on you will change in everything you do and become a better person, one small step at a time. Try and come on the chatroom at 8pm tonight which runs at the same time everynight. There are some great people on that each night and we are all on there to support each other, ask questions etc with no judgement. 

Stuart

Hello and happy to have you here....

I’m in pretty much the same situation as you now. Unfortunately, I can’t provide any advice. I fully understand though. I know the feelings you’re going through right now