I have relapsed.Â
I've been in denial since April about my relapse but I am finally ready to take accountability for my gambling again.Â
I reached out to Gam Care back in 2024 and was clean from gambling for an entire year. When my self exclusions got lifted I decided to gamble again back in April this year and have been in such denial ever since. What again started off as here and there has suddenly turned into a daily battle of impulses to gamble. I win - its never enough I continue to go and go until there's nothing left but regret. Online slot machines are my downfall. The money doesn't even look real to me when I am gambling.Â
I have ended up using savings towards our holiday to fund my gambling addiction and feel sick at the thought of that money I have wasted especially when it is supposed to be towards our family holiday.Â
I have a daughter she is three and the absolute light of my life, she makes me proud every day and when I am with her she takes away any thought of gambling its when she's in bed on a night and I get my alone time the impulse takes over.Â
I can't say why I do it all I know is my anxiety over my finances has rocketed. I am in a DMP and already have struggled to make payments on priority bills in the past. I felt like I was getting back on track last year but recently it is just a mess.Â
I have reached out again today and spoke to someone over live chat who was so incredibly supportive and made me feel so much less alone in this.Â
This forum can help so much and I am determined to battle through this. I have not yet lost everything which I know can be the case for a lot of people when it comes to gambling but I can see the way it is heading if I continue on this path and I value my family and my life too much to allow myself to continue on this dark road of gambling.Â
It's hard and I need help, I know I can't do it alone and I finally accept this now.Â
Women gambling is NOT spoken about enough. You would never know I am a gambler, I hide it so well in daily life but I need to change.Â
This is day 1 again, feeling a mix of emotions anxious/ashamed yet hopeful.Â
I will change and be better I have to.Â
This is exactly what happened to me i stopped gambling for 14 monthe a long long timw for me. Soon as my Moses self exclusion ended i lost £3, 500 in one hour. I will never in my life fail to renew my gambling stops again.The decease compulsion can strike anytime from now my motto is Blocks for Life. Gey them blocks straight away and keep them in pLace for life, if you don't it will happen again and again. good luck I wish you well.
Hi. I'm also a mom and I have been playing online slots now for 2 years at least. I also get impulses during my downtime. And I'm never happy with my wins it never feels enough. I have only just started my journey. I have suspensions on my accounts. I am nervous that if I don't gamble, will I just become addicted to something else.Â
Put block on your Debit cards, this may help so any urge I have I just can not play any online gamesÂ
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