Chasing Losses has ruined everything.

The urges have been and gone this evening, there was a moment that i considered it but thankfully did'nt react. To be honest i think that is mainly due to all the support i've received today from this forum. thank you. It is over 24 hours now i have abstained. I understand and except that the journey ahead is going to be a hard fight against these demons, i do not give in easy and will not bow down to this. I'm up for the fight. Bring on day two. The next 2-3 days will be the real test for me, as i've done a day or 2 several times no problem.

If someone was looking in from the outside world they would of read my posts and thought what an idiot, how can you lose everything playing a stupid slot game! That is why this forum is valuble to the likes of me, i have gambled in secret for year's, never been in a bookmakers in my life. No interest in any other forms of betting only one company's slot games. How sad is that. People see that when business is doing well, they assume i've got thousands in savings etc, no money worries. Could'nt be further from the truth due to the destructive slot games. I am very angry deep down with myself but what's the point in reflecting on past mistakes.

ODAAT, i have read the exit post you suggested, found the post very interesting and helpful. Thanks again for taking your time to post.

Hi Al

your story has really touched me and i really feel your pain I'm in a similar situation self excluded

from everyone maxed out credit
cards, phoned the bank yesterday and they pretty much
laughed at me when asked for
more help.

although i have got myself in a right mess I'm trying hard not to think about all the money squandered away. This forum is a great way to express yourself and hear about other experiences
as this has helped me abstain previously. I want to wish you the best of luck. This is my 1st day quitting and reading you story has helped inspire me to do so as I understand I'm not the only one out there in a similar situation! Which often feels like the case

I have gamblock, it's about 35 quid but there might be free one's out there like k9. There are thousands of online casinos now so it's pointless self excluding, you'll need a blocker to block all gambling sites, if you don't you'll always be tempted. If someone was looking for the outside at me they'd freak out, I even had a breathing technique that I thought would bring me luck every time in clicked the mouse, madness. Gambling will destroy you, it consumes your brain and thoughts, you need to be thinking of living your life, taking care of yourself and your family and business. Every day you don't gamble your thinking will get clearer. Get to 28 days and oh my, you'll feel so different. Just get through today, don't spoil the weekend, live your life free from losing your money and your soul.

I think when you first stop its hard to concentrate on anything else. You just need to somehow get through it and then enjoy the normal things of life again later.

hi Al,

They are very brutally honest posts from you which is a great way to start the recovery. Sounds like you were getting a great deal off your chest.

reading through some of the replies you have been offered some great advice and there will be endless support from us all on the forum.

i really agree with the posters who recommended telling your wife. Your problem is too big to try and face yourself, and without having anyone to be accountable to it will be easier to slip back into your old ways when trying to chase.

It won't be a nice conversation but it will make you feel 1000 times better and I'm sure most in here will agree with that.

stay strong, keep posting and think positive!

The replies and the thoughts really inspired me guys. Thank you for this diary 🙂

Had an email from my only online slots account, 25% refund on all losses, shame they could'nt offer me that last week when i lost 4K! Won't be taking that offer thank you. Got roped into a scheme last week of their's, deposit £500 and they match it, had to play through my deposit and their bonus to the value of 30k before could make withdrawl. Might as well of thrown £500 in the bin.

The problem with playing online is the cash is not in your hand, it is all virtual. would i have blown £500 - £1000 a night if it was? I know the answer to that. but can no longer dwell on it. Day 2, nearly 48 hours complete.

Well done for not taking the offer. But why have you not closed accounts & installed blocking software yet?

Good question, to be honest i'm waiting to see if a refund is due on my account for my losses in the past week, maybe that is very niave, at the moment i have no interest in depositing a penny of the small amount of funds i have available or could as i lowered the limit to £10 for each 24 hours. Deposits of £100 - £1000 are my weakness, small amounts never bothered with as the return's were too small. Maybe if i email and ask i'll get the answer and can then close the account which i will do.

The stupid thing is i have 99% of the time used only one account and have not had access to the one other i had for months. Very strange that i am only drawn to one or two certain slot games on one website. Not interested in any other's. So not sure on best way for me to proceed, the one time i have used blocking software after the 12 month period ended i did not renew and went straight back to the website and started playing again. So I know how hard this is going to be to abstain on a monthly and yearly basis.

I understand closing the account is priority and appreciate that it needs to be done immediately, maybe i'm not ready to let go yet. not sure but am determined to continue to day 3. 2 days for me is an acheivement as recently been constantly playing on a daily basis. was'nt concerned about getting through day 1, the following days are of more concern.

Sounds like you have already made the decision to gamble when that bonus comes. I have heard 100s of people tell me over the years how the lure of the bonus kept them in the game. Let it go ffs the monies gone stop dreaming & face reality

If they give you a refund it will either be immediate and you'll gamble it away or will take days to go back in your bank which means you still have access to gambling. It sounds like you're not ready yet, I hope when you are you still have your family because it will be easier with them. If I was you I'd pay the money and get gamblock right now, it will save you thousands, time and sanity. It's as simple as this, you have 2 choices, gamble and come back here 10 times worse than the first time, or don't gamble and live a life full of less stress, more sleep, exciting times ahead.

Email sent to request the only online account I have is closed, it referred me to the daily deposit and responsible gambling bull s!!t ignored that and sent the message. Will draft a letter tomorrow and stick in post to confirm my request. Forget the bonus and move on now. Thanks orbits and day@atime for the kick up the a**e needed. I don't like being being proved wrong so there we go. Decision is made have hopefully closed the account. Can anyone tell me if blocking software works on an iPhone 4s? Will install K9 on laptop.

I don't know because I use an old Nokia phone with no internet access because I know I'd be gambling. I can now afford a gold mobile phone but I happily look daft answering it in Public because I know why I have it. I also only have a cash card with a reduced limit of 100 quid. You can always contact your network provider and get the over 18 site setting blocked. Mate, I know it's tough but you've got to help yourself and make tough decisions, letting go of gambling at first can be very difficult, I know this big time, but after you'll be proud of yourself.

So relieved to hear you stepping up...It's hard to let go but as orbits pointed out, you either get out or get burnt & end up coming back, hurting more, having fallen all the harder!

I can't advise you on the blocker but maybe a phone call to Gamcare will answer this?

This is never about proving people wrong, it is about people who care enough to not want to see you hurting anymore! Don't worry about the days & the months, just do this - ODAAT

Apologies for the rant at being proved wrong was angry with myself not committing sooner to closing the account. I did'nt take the comments as being helpful at the time more of a personal dig at me for not being 100% committed. I am fully aware and appreciate all the support on here and apologise if that sentance offended. Overwhelmed by all the support on only my second day here. Thank you.