I have probably posted on here before different accounts I cant remember so I find myself at day one again multiple relapses this year have lead me to look in the mirror and say " what the hell are you doing " I have always gambaled started when I was 18 im 36 now started of at £40 a time in the UK bookies before the regulations came in and from what I remember it didn't stop there i have had some good wins over the years but some massive losses I have gone through periods of not gambaling for months maybe years but the last few years the never ending feeling to burn the money I have left with no regard , I need new work shoes I have been eyeing up a new coat but I can never bring myself to buy my self things its always sat in my bank waiting for that voice in my head that says " ooo just one go then £50" well £50 turned in to £300 down the drain in one hour , something takes over my brain there's no reason or logic behind it its like money is a disease to me and the best part is im not skint in not struggling with debt or bills I earn a modest £40k a year and generally have £1.2k left after bills I've blocked myself from bookies , casinos and gamstop but recently I discovered crypto casinos which are the new devil on my shoulder they have been lucrative yes but ultimately I have lost approx £2k in the last two weeks or so that been profits from winnings or my own deposits, I opened up to my partner about it although I didn't say I had a problem as such it was the fact I feel guilty spending money on myself so I just do this it feels so complex I want to understand it , moving forward we are having a joint account for any spare money after bills to hopefully but a stop to this thanks for reading
Dear pr123,
Welcome back to the Forum.
You are not alone if you have experienced a set-back. We are glad that you feel able to keep reaching back out for support. It sounds like you have insight into your triggers. Hopefully now you have been able to put blocks and self-exclusions in place. It may be beneficial to not just look at events as linear but look at the cyclical nature of what you may be experiencing.
Wishing you some supportive peer comments soon.
Louise
Forum Admin
I’ve been in ur boat so many times the honest reality is we can’t gamble at all that first bet is the one to avoid. Good wins are great but the losses are the ones that make us end up being here.
It sounds like you're taking an important step by opening up to your partner and addressing the situation. That’s not always easy to do, so give yourself some credit for being honest. The idea of a joint account for spare money seems like a practical way to create some boundaries and reduce temptation. Maybe it’s also worth exploring the feelings behind why you feel guilty spending money on yourself—sometimes understanding the “why” can help you find healthier ways to cope. It might also help to talk to someone, like a counselor, who can guide you through unpacking these complex emotions. You're already making moves to take control, and that's a big step forward. Keep going—you’re not alone in this!
That’s a really thoughtful approach, and I think you're absolutely right—figuring out the “why” behind those feelings can make such a big difference. Sometimes, it's easier to keep pushing our needs aside, especially if we feel like others should come first. But the truth is, taking care of yourself doesn't mean you're neglecting anyone else; it just means you're honoring your own worth too. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but even small steps, like treating yourself to something simple or practicing a bit of self-compassion, can help shift that perspective over time. And hey, you’ve already taken a big step just by reflecting on all this—be proud of yourself for that!
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