So I'm mid 20s, completed Uni and in and out of jobs. I have depression, anxiety problems and often stay in having a bet. I started betting at 21 and I made so much doing it with small bets and found it fun. That fun became an addiction and I've probably gambling tens of thousands over the years since then.
My problem is whenever I get disposable money I want to gamble. I buy the basics in life first but everything else just seems to end up in a betting account.
I love to have a bet, watch a game and it's thrilling to me when I win. I have good knowledge on what I bet on and often win. I can desposit £50 and turn it into £300-400 some days and feel delighted. I'll spend £20-30 on myself then lose the rest chasing everything I'm losing.
All my discipline goes away, I bet angrily, I feel depressed and I just bet bigger and bigger until it's gone.
Finally decided to talk on here because of this week. It was my birthday and I recieved £200 or so. I bet it all and won £500-600 in a weekend. I withdrew it and spent £100. Today I lost 5-6 bets and lost £300 in the space of half a day. I just felt depressed and that I needed to get it back. I raised my stakes and lost it all. Now I'm probably £100 loss overall.
I know that isn't too bad but the bigger picture is I just want to bet. I always tell myself "If I win really big I'll stop gambling and be able to just leave it" but I lose concept of what I win and lose it. I get mad and start losing more and more.
I can be disciplined, I can research and make money. But every single time I lose control and get so angry that I lost what I made. Then I spiral out of control trying to win it back fast.
Sometimes I'm sitting up at night betting on games in South America just wondering why I can't stop this and how will I get over the fact of losing money overall to my own indiscipline and addiction.
I've tried blocking accounts, suspending them and so on. But at the back of my head I just want to win what I've lost back and leave in profit.
Hi thorney well done for seeing the problem. I think it's common to have all the feelings you've got. My husband is a cg, depression, stress. All related. An emotional illness he called it last night. Software blocks, Gamban, k9, onto gadgets, no excuses. You have to want to stop. Call gamcare talk to someone. Go to GA. If you stop this now you can arrest it and have a good life. If it continues you will be feeling like this forever with a mountain of debt. Can you tell a family member? Get them to look after your money? There are many ways to control gambling but the desire to stop has to come from you. Start a diary on the recovery page, start posting everyday or every time you want to gamble, change the habit. Read others diaries. Good luck!
Hi Thorney90,
Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your story with us.
It seems like you’ve been struggling with your gambling problem for a while now, and much as you’re aware of your situation, you still find it difficult to control your gambling. Your anger when you lose your bets is also not helping in that you try to recover your money quickly by betting in higher amounts.
I think you’ve taken a step in the right direction by posting into the forum; Gamcare can advise you on strategies to apply to help you to overcome your gambling problem.
How about contacting our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers and find out what other options are available to you? Our lines are open every day from 8.00am to midnight.
We also do offer counselling in case you feel that would help you to control your gambling problem and eventually stop.
Please try and stay in touch so we can continue to support you, and also know how you’re getting on with your recovery.
I’ll advise that you keep reading from the forum for more strategies from people you can identify with.
It’s possible to overcome your gambling problem if you follow the advice that we offer.
Stay strong, and keep posting!
Kind regards,
Beatrice
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
