Hi All !
First time posting, I guess I'm hoping for people who can relate to this and any tips/advice I would be very grateful, thanks a lot for reading this essay !
My problem is sports betting - horses and football. It all started with opening an online account, depositing a fiver on a football accumulator, occasionally winning and enjoying the extra buzz a bet added to football. Quickly becoming convinced my football knowledge will build up my bank balance, £5 stakes soon turns to £20, now I find myself doing £100 six folds. I now also find myself not being able to sit and watch a normal game of football without a bet, I sit there 'should've backed them' and not just simply enjoying football like I used to ! . After many a Sunday night of coming to terms with a loss the Monday begins 'I wont ever gamble again' and most weeks I would successfully ignore the urge all week until the weekend comes and 'lets give it another go I can get last weeks stake back plus profit' etc etc. Obviously this leads to spending the money that I could be saving rather than making money. First few years was fine nobody knew I gambled, I always pay my bills and just gambled with spare cash. The past couple of years I have changed job - my boss is an enormous horses gambler. I've been to race meetings on business - and similar to the football, one win was the worst thing that could ever happen, one saturday I had 4 out of 4 winners on my yankee, such an amazing feeling, big money with out working, more than I'd earn in 3 months, the buzz of that 4th horse sprinting clear etc - and now a year on I mustve spent 50 times that win back trying to repeat the feat !! Almost everyday I look through the cards and pick out 4 horses thinking about the next big win. I' ve now gone through most the betting sites over the years and self excluded each time ive lost too much so its impossible to gamble online but I still find myself in a high street shop.
I work in the same office as my boss and it's extremely hard to listen to all the racing daily in the background on his computer and not want to gamble. I obviously can't blame him for my behaviour, but I'm struggling to fight the urges as it is let alone being in that environment. But I love my job and my colleagues are great and I do not want to change jobs! I just want to delete the gambling from me ! and I cant seem to do it. Maybe a change of job is the answer but I feel I should be able to abstain from it and still work with him as we get on so well and I enjoy what I do.
I have a huge guilt, embarrassment and stress that I should've moved out from my parents house years ago if I'd of just saved and never got into gambling and now starting from scratch yet again......day one !!! feeling as focussed as I could with no football season but avoiding Espom horse betting urges for friday and saturday is the first major step, how to avoid please and long term going forward ?!?!
Thanks for reading !
Hi Gerry,
Thanks for your post, and welcome to the forum. It sounds like gambling has caused a fair amount of stress in your life, and your work environment is only adding to that. You don't say what type of company you work for, but if the job itself isn't directly related to gambling, then you might not necessarily need to change it. What you might need to do, though, is have a frank and honest discussion with your boss about your struggles with gambling, and how hearing it in the background every day is stressful for you. If you both get on as well as you say you do, then hopefully he'll support you and change that. You have every right to talk to him about this, just as you have a right to work in an environment that isn't counter to you maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
In the long term, what about getting individual counselling? That could help you sort out any underlying issues that may be feeding your gambling, and it could help you work on ways to manage your urges better and choose healthier behaviours instead. Counselling is actually what tends to help people the most if they're trying to quit gambling, and it can give you a more lasting recovery. If that sounds like something you'd like to try, we've got partner agencies in many parts of the UK, and we can point you in the direction for that if you get in touch. We're open on the Helpline (0808 8020 133) or the Netline from 8am to midnight every day.
Hope this helps,
Travis
I can totally relate to that, I'm a driver and love talksport, got it on all day, bookie after bookie on. Spoils my listening.
You need to switch your mentality, enjoy the feeling of not gambling - of not giving in to temptation.
The feeling of being in control.
Thanks all for your great comments !
Totally agree card is staying at home, bringing a packed lunch to work so no need for any money. And agree I think the best plan is to exclude from shops in my area, that'll stop me cracking at the weekend. I had the urge to look at the racing last night but instead went to the golf range and really enjoyed it, used to play when I was younger, so going to try and join a club, soon the racing was over and I didn't think about it when I got home. Hopefully the urges die down with time 🙂
Hi Gerry. I don't know if this would be the same for you but for me it ended up being a relief when I won... the buzz that I enjoyed at the beginning has completely disappeared on the result.... I get the buzz between putting the bet on and the result.
All the scenario does is create stress... whether you win or lose.... that time before the result is bloody stressful.
Have you told your boss?... as he is a gambler himself the convo could go either way... it depends on if he has/had the same issues or not... One thing I hope is he doesnt advise you of a dead cert..."this will win i guarantee"..."all your money troubles sorted with this one".... Please dont listen to him....
I dont know what job your in but i pressume an office job, you thought of getting and MP3 player or get some CDs for the computer you work on and get some headphones.... just an idea... without knowing th situation it is difficult
I hope you can stay away from stress
Hi Jonny, 100% the same as that mate ! The last few months where I have been gambling really bad, I would put the bet on big, then be so anxious I found myself say picking 4 horses, noting down what time the last one ran, and not watching any, no enjoyment for it just praying to see a big return at the end of the day.
How are you getting on now ?
Yes I told my boss, he was nice, he said that he has lost atleast a house in his lifetime and would love it if I didnt take the same path and will not mention a horse to me again. He will close his door during a race so I don't go in or listen to it.
Good shout on music, I've been trying 'feel good music' on youtube ha.
Hope it will get easier in time but for now urges are still massive !
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