Hello everybody and I hope whoever reads this post is recovering well from their gambling problem. My name is Mike and this is the first time i have ever sought any help for my problem. I really really need help. I cant believe it has come to this. I started gambling a few years ago, got into trouble and my family bailed me out. I was living at home then. I am a uni student and have left home for my placement year in London. I have been living by myself since August 2013. I get paid £1300 a month. December 2013, i got bored, I went to a casino and won some money. 4 months on i am in PURE HELL. As i am writing this message i have no money, no food, no money for transport to work and i am so hungry i am in tears at night. My family have cut contact with me. I have not paid my rent in 3 months. I am in a hole and i do not know how to get out. I cant see any way out. The thoughts I have been getting have been driving me criminal, insane and psychotic. I have not verbally spoke to anybody in 7 days. I have just stayed in my small student room not going to work as i don't have money. I pray someone here can help me. I am becoming the thing i most despise, I take alcohol when I can get it to soothe the pain, smoke a lot to take my mind off this. Im only 24 and I can't see living past 40.
Hi Mike,
Welcome to the forum, and I'm glad you're reaching out about your gambling problem. It sounds like you've had quite a tough time of it lately. I understand that things look pretty bleak right now, but the good news is that you're only 24, and you have a lot of time left to turn your life around and live a more peaceful and enjoyable existence.
This can't include gambling, though, and I hope you'll come to some acceptance of that. That's what's destroying you, and when that's not in your life, then things can gradually start to get better. Addressing the substance use issues you have is also going to be important if things are to improve. Today is a new day, and I would encourage you to think about what the smallest thing might be that you could do today to help yourself. Is there any support at your university, for example, that you could take advantage of? Have you contacted your work to let them know you're struggling at the moment? Do whatever you can to stabilize your situation, first, and then work on what you can do to make small improvements to it. Ultimately, getting individual counselling may be something you might want to look into, as that can give you a lot of support, and help you work on the issues that are causing you problems.
If you'd like to chat to us about any of this, or just get some support, we're available from 8am to midnight everyday on the Freephone Helpline (0808 8020 133), or the Netline ( http://secure.gamcare.org.uk/netline/ ) and we can try to point you in the direction of further help.
Hope this helps, and hang in there, Mike. You sound like a nice guy with a lot of potential who's just really struggling at the moment. There's always a way forward, and things won't always be like this.
Thanks a lot for your post, and I hope you're finding the forum to be a supportive place.
Travis
Hi Mike, welcome to the Forum and well done for finding the strength to post what you have here,
I have some idea of where you are my friend; I gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago; in that time, I lost two homes, two partners, all my material possessions (many times over), and £350,000; I remember scouring the streets with holes in my shoes to find coppers, so I could buy some out of date bread rolls at the local supermarket.
Travis is right about small steps; your situation is desperate but you can make inroads into tackling every single part of your situation; you don't hav to be hungry and homeless - there are options my friend and speaking to someone will show you how you can start putting the pieces of your life together my friend.
At 24, you have the luxury of time to strip everything down and start again - there are many people here in their 40's, 50's, 60's that have little or no time to undo the damage; even though you are in pure hell as you say, all of those people would swop with you in an instant; cherish it, value the wealth of time you have my friend.
The advantage of being in pure hell is that you now know that nothing is worth this, gambling, winning, losing, all of it; nothing is worth the soul-wrenching mental torture that you experience by throwing everything away by your own hands.
Gambling will always be that way for you - the minute, the second you start, you are lost, no matter what the stake, no matter what the game. There is nothing you will ever be able to do to change that - if you ever, ever feel tempted again, then remember how you feel right now, right at this moment; remember the sheer mental agony that haunts every waking thought.
The worst thing you can do right now is exactly what you are doing; burying your head in the sand and ignoring the situation. You must be proactive my friend - look at each problem you have right now and do everything you can to start picking up the pieces; get some advice, be honest with those around you, do whatever is necessary to dust yourself down and plan a way forward.
One promise I can make you my friend is that all of this will be worth it if you never gamble again. If you look back in ten gamble-free years time, you might even see this as a positive thing because it was the turning point that made you a better, stronger and more disciplined person; don't let this experience mean nothing my friend and don't let it drag you down further - you seem like a decent, intelligent guy - the road back and beyond starts today, here, with small steps to put everything right again.
JamesP
hi i know how you are feeling rite now i am in the same boat its only today i have come for help i lose my whole wages most weeks on in store roulette machines i lie and every chance i have i sneak out and gamble losing every penny i have the feeling is bad the thorgths you get the despration you feel not eatingyou sit there asking yourself why im i doing thisto myself again and again and how do you explain to your loved ones about a habbit which sprials out of control with me its the buzz the thorgth of winning big its horrible being in a dark hole and not getting out your anger towards yourself what you need to do is get back to work tell your freinds see if they can help even if its a loaf off bread no cash tho just food get yaself eating before you make yaself more ill small steps ban yaself on line which you can do or get a freind to change your passwords for online gambling then you wont be able to log in ban yourself from all shops take a photo with you self exclude get help from gamcare to get yaself a coucior soz bout spelling
Hello my friend,
Is this the answer ? Yes it is and no it isn't is the truth because it depends just on you what you are making out of it.
To keep it short and easy mate the answer is in you and you've done the first and very important step to get the answer out of you well done for this mate.
Each and everyone of us has been where you are now and some might be still there who knows.
When I was in your now situation for the first time I thought that's the end of all and there is no way out of it. I lived rough and was hungry.
You got the right advise of the other members here and I know it's not filling your belly nor is it paying your rent but it is the direction to it you just need to understand it go with all honesty needed to your family or to the council and yes it will make you feeling very little but this is just the little devil who is trying to manipulate you to keep you under his control. The devil is called "GAMBLING"
You can do it mate don't be as stupid as I was and wait any longer.
Good luck mate
Wolfgang
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