Hi everyone
I have come on here looking for advice as my husband has admitted to me this evening that he has a gambling problem and I'm not sure how best to help him.
I've always known that he has liked a bet and the odd game of poker but never realised it had become a problem.
Now I have found out that he has run up approx £2000 in credit card debt from going to the casino. As well as this he plays online poker, places bets on his mobile and goes to the bookies. It seems that he won't go a week without some sort of gambling.
It really upsets me that he has been hiding this from me for so long, he has a good job and we haven't had money problems before. We both pay toward the bills and we aren't behind with any payments. So I do find it hard to understand why he feels the need to gamble away money that we could be putting towards our future.
I am glad that he has told me but I am really worried that a) he may not have told me everything and b) that he may not be able to stop and we will end up in a situation where he promises he isn't doing it and then I find out he is. I just can't tolerate being lied to and fear what will happen to us if things get worse.
Does anybody have any advice about where to go from here? Should I ask him for access to his credit card statements so I can keep an eye on it and ask him to stop gambling completely, put blocks on the computer etc. or is this going to make it all worse as it ends to come from him?
I just don't know what to do for the best.
Thank you for listening...
Hi, I would urge to to take all possible action to stop your husband from future gambling. Russell Brand is well publicised for his 'total absistence' methods to cure addication. He is utterly correct. I speak as someone who came to this site 'sought a bit of help' and thought I am 'cured', how wrong was I. To beat any addication (and right now your husband would say yeah a bit of time on gamcare, stay away from the bookies, the laptop, i'll be fine), well it isn't that easy. You need to take control of his finances now, take his debit card off him, give him limited funds of cash weekly, buy 'a gambling blocker' for all laptop/desktop/tablet pc's. Insist he seeks help from a counsellor/doctor/ga meeting and most importantly insist he is very serious about quitting gambling, or i will tell you it will come back again in your lives to haunt you. This may sound a lot to do now, but it is necessary, he must find other interests - HE MUST BE SERIOUS ABOUT STOPPING GAMBLING. There are people on this site (including me) people 'real people' who have lost their lives to gambling (partners/life savings) - read their threads - if their stories don't make an impression. nothing will. Nip it early - you made a start coming here - good luck.
Hi there - it takes a lot of courage to tell someone you have a gambling problem, so full credit to your husband for admitting it to you.
But as Spaingone has said, he has to be serious about giving up and that will mean putting barriers between him and temptation. Could you also suggest to him that he joins Gamcare and contributes to the Forum? He will need to be pro-active in his recovery as you cannot do it for him. I hope things get better for you both.
Joanna
Hi, thank you both for the advice, I'm not sure how much of a problem he thinks he has at the moment. Guess time will tell and what he decides to do about it.
Does anybody know where I stand regarding the debts, as in we are married and have a joint mortgage. If let's say there were big debts that were owed, do they become my debts too? Just really worried that in the worst case scenario my house would be at risk?
Many thanks again.
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