So, here i am again second attempt of trying to stop.
I have come on here before so positive and willing to stop but again i have messed up. This time though i have gambled way beyond my families means. To the point there is three days until payday and my balance is 0. If it weren't for my partner we would all be homeless my young children included. The fact that the bills and rent are paid is by no effort of my own, my partner has been effectively living as a single parent holding it all together on his own, he has his own debts that he needs to concentrate on and i am just making it worse for all of us. I owe it to him and my children to stop. I have wasted all of my maternity leave and now am due back to work which is destroying me as i could of made so much more of my time at home with my daughter had it not been for gambling. My partner put a block on computer, i then started on my phone, what is wrong with me!!! To my messed up brain, i ask that you think rationally and find enjoyment in healthier things as gambling as messed up so much around me now its time i arrested this vile addiction and kicked it into shape. I no longer wan to look at my children and want to burst into tears, i want to look at them and feel happiness and pride that can only come from thr feeling i will get when i stop and start to build a better future for all of us. Feeling so down today, day one of no gambling, i hope this pain soon passes as i am not sure how much worse i can feel.
Hi SoSad - Well, tomorrow will be Day 2 of your new life without gambling and I think you will start to feel better. It looks as if you have at last realised that there is a chance of a happier and self-respecting life out there, free of this gambling curse. We have all had to face this choice, and by joining the site you have made a good start to your recovery.
Try to post something in the Diary section each day to chart your progress. You will be surprised at how the days clock up and with each day you will be feeling stronger.
Good wishes for your journey.
Joanna
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