Hi, I've had a gambling problem for years now. Known I've had a problem and stop when I loose big but end up back on it a few months later. Came clean to family and friends last year and attended meetings but it's still never really stopped me. I lost so much again last night I don't actually know what I'm gonna do. Plus side is my bills are paid for the month but my overdraft is almost maxed out. I can't attend the meetings anymore because I work lates. That's why I thought this time I should join a forum and speak to people daily on here. If I stay in communication with people who understand maybe il have a better chance this time. Thanks for reading
Hi
You are a a stage I was at for 10 months after joining the forum.
I could stop mainly through sheer fear and the fact that all my money had to be paid in bills. I stopped for maybe a month and a half but I would exagerate that when mentioning it on the forum. Oh Ive stopped I thought but the reality is there was nothing to gamble with. The reality was I wasnt fully ready to stop and therefore didnt do anything effective to stop
I had told my parents but not well enough. I hadnt got the message fully over that I was self destructing due to an addiction. They couldnt manage my money at that point anyway
Then I was advising people and relapsing every two weeks when I got paid. Then I went into a state of stopping for 6 days at a time and thinking I was gambling a bit less so I could have another gamble just to get something back.
I was very ill and very addicted. I reached a new low of being angry with my father which made me not want to visit at christmas....worst christmas I ever had so I gambled to numb the pain and hit an all time suicidal low.
On 29/12/2015 a few days after stopping, I self excluded. I then booked an appointment with the doctor...missed one but finally got a grip and went. My CBT therapy is now booked after a telephone interview a few days ago
I laid it on thick with everybody close that this is more than being silly and I was an addict. I was never to be given money without it going straight to bills. I told them I would live within my means and that any sign of financial difficulty without a valid reason would be a sign of me gambling again.
I show them my finances if and when they ask and its all part of reaching out for help with a new openness and honesty
What Im getting at is you need to tell them again and get some help setting up the blocks. The deadly side of that addiction is it seems to overide all those dark days of sitting in with beans on toast just so it can get its next fix now. Thats putting it mildly...it destroys relationships and kills people in the grim aftermath of getting its fix.
You can look at a plus side but you know that sinking feeling that its destroyed your finances.
Please ring gamcare and please reach out for a new round of family help. Secrecy is no good.
Best wishes
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