Hi everyone. This is all new to me so I just thought I'd say hi. I am. a 32 year old mum of 3 with a gambling problem. I have been gambling since I was old enough to practically walk whether it be in penny arcades or watching my dad play slots or helping mum Mark off her bingo numbers. My gambling too a turn for the worse whilst I was married (now 3 years divorced) and they have gotten slowly worse over time.
My parents and sister are aware and my dad bailed me out a few times and they've said now if I do it again I'll be disowned. I haven't lost anything yet apart from my self respect but I'm terrified that I will lose it all.
I work part time in a well known bookmakers and I know you can't beat the bookies but I'm just so stressed out and I am constantly looking at horse racing and footie coupons. I've self excluded from all local bookmakers that I use and closed all but 1 of my sports accounts.
I want to stop so badly and close my last account, and as terrified as I am that I'll lose my family I think I'm more terrified that there will be an enormous gap in life my life when I do stop completely.
I tried a counsellor last year when my family first found out but I didn't like her very much and I found it a bit odd that she blamed my problems on my family and my ex husband.
I dont know what to do, and I don't have anyone I can confide in.
Hi there,
Welcome to the site and well-done for posting an honest and open first post.
The fact that you have self-excluded from
The bookies is a good first step. Maybe go the extra bit and exclude from the one where you do still have a
Sports account that will help you when you are
Most vulnerable to the urges.
Different things work for different people counselling helped me as it was one place I could be come rely honest and open. I did have an exceptionally good counsellor who was patient and understood my
Inability to trust people.
Perhaps you could try a different counsellor or if you can't then come on here for support maybe start a diary to give yourself a goal to not gamble each day.
People on this site won't judge or blame anyone, they
Will offer encouragement and support. There will be large gaps once you stop gambling. The only way you
Can cope with this is by finding healthy replacements. Exercise has helped me and so has writing. You just need to find something to enjoy and focus on it in order to fill the void.
You can do this, be strong remind yourself off the negative feelings gambling gives you and use it to motivate yourself not to gamble.
All the best
Amanda
Hi itstwins - Well done on admitting that you need help to kick this terrible addiction - you have come to the right place!
I agree with Amanda when she advises you to rid yourself of that last sports account. There is no other way - putting barriers between yourself and temptation gives you the space to work on your recovery. Yes, you will feel an emptiness - that is inevitable with all addictions, but there is a whole lot of life out there for you without wasting time and money on gambling.
Perhaps the best barrier would be to find another part-time job - working in a betting shop can't be the best environment for someone wanting to get away from gambling.
I know it's easier said than done, but how about working part-time in a supermarket - staff discount on food too!
Think of some things you are interested in and pursue them - even getting out in the fresh air will be a bonus. Do more things with the children - study a new subject.
Finally, visit this site daily and read other people's stories - they will inspire you and give you a lot of support.
Best wishes for your journey - you can do it!
Joanna
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