I need advise please on how to stop and cope with this addiction

Hi Steve,

Welcome to the Forum,

I am sorry to hear of your relapse but pleased you are reaching out for some support, you will find a really supportive community here. As well as our Forum I can also recommend you check out our Chatroom where you can chat with many of our Forum posters. Our chatroom runs at both 1pm and 8pm daily.

I understand that the peer to peer support meetings may not have worked for you, but I was wondering if you have ever tried some 1 to 1 treatment support? If you haven’t done so already I can recommend you contact one of our Advisers on either the HelpLine or NetLine, they will be able to go through all the options of support that are available to you and help ensure you are best placed to recover from this addition.

Best regards

ChrisK

Forum Admin

Hi Steve , sorry to here you relapsed, you’ve come to the right place their all very supportive on here , have you spoke to the helpline to see what blocks you can put into place to help with your recovery, I find reading around the diary’s very helpful, looking forward to walking this road together ?

Hi Steve 

It was good to see you in chat this evening and hope to see you there again. It is really tough stopping and filling the void left behind but I think the key thing is to make sure you find other activities to keep you occupied and put as many blocks in place as you can. This will make a massive difference to your success, especially when the urges do kick in, it will be difficult to act on them. 

Take one day at a time and tell yourself just for today I will not gamble. 

Lonely

Hi Steve, 

I’m curious to know why your not a fan of meetings? I’ve tried them myself but i didn’t find it much help.

I wish you all the best my friend 

Hi Steve.

My best advice is you start looking at this like a drug addiction and tell a loved one close to you.

Reality checks are what you need in the build up to a born again moment. One of the biggest reality checks is trying to explain your gambling sessions to a non gambling member of the family and tell them how much you have lost. It will sound like utter madness to them because guess what... It is! Can you face that because openness and honesty are your saviours. Facing yourself and facing the truth will save your life.

Now I understand what you say about GA but dont rule itout completely for the future. You can set up your own GA scenario because you need to be humble and you do need to face others and say I'm Steve and I am a compulsive gambler...secrets are no good for you...withdrawing into yourself and thinking you can stop just with you own willpower is not how this works

Its a split mind disorder and an illness. You can forget all thoughts that you are a grown man who can handle it. You are not in control of your own mind and that should be scary enough to get all the help and put all the blocks on.

Its no game about a silly flutter. Youve seen the hefty sum chucked away many times but you still go back like we all did. Its a complex addiction because we want the fix and we want to put the damage right. Only once hooked it just gets worse for we have no control.

Its not an income scheme because its in no way reliable. If it was the gambling dens would be out of business and nobody would go to work.

You need to talk through what you have been doing and build some support around you. The best way is to restrict access to cash an locations as you do the cold turkey.

You will do the cold turkey and its not as hard as it seems if you are ready to do the right thing.

You wont miss it when your mind heals. Ive got money now...a nice rainy day fund. More importantly I have control of my life back...control of my own mind which is not now seeking its fixes to harm me.

What has gambling brought you but misery?

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi Steve. I had a relapse on Tuesday after 5 months gamble free. Cheltenham got me. And again I lost more than I can afford and now have put serious pressure on me. 

Hi

I went to meetings some time ago and thought that it seemed a hopeless case for me.

I went to meetings for the wrong reasons.

In time I found out that I wanted to stop gambling.

In time I found out that it was much easier once I handed over my finances.

I could not trust myself with money.

In time I found out I no longer wanted to talk about the addiction or about money lost.

By giving therapies I was able to talk about my emotional vulnerability and why I felt vulnerable and why.

As I opened up more I felt less vulnerable.

One of my emotional triggers were my feelings of pain not healed.

Another one of my emotional triggers were my fears not faced.

Another one of my emotional triggers were my frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations that did not go my way.

Another one of my emotional triggers were my feelings of loneliness due to my fears of emotional intimacy.

Another one of my emotional triggers were my feelings of boredom because I did not feel productive and worth while in myself.

I also did not value myself or other people.

Only by abstaining could I start to heal the pains of my past that I was burying and suppressing.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Hi

Thank you very much for your reply,means a lot to hear these things on my journey to stop this hideous addiction for good!

steve

hi steve i just saw u on chat.... nice to meet u.... a word of advise get the blocks in place first and all of them as from experience down the line i found i moved onto different gambling avenues, i went from online poker, to casino, to bookies to pubs slowly excluded from them all now and just don't go to pubs anymore.  then don't carry cards with u when u go to town just cash then that's all u can lose.  all the best mate adam