Its barely been a day since I last gambled. Today I was at it again and I don't know why!? I was up for the week yesterday which should have been enough incentive to leave it at that but no I've gone and blown the lot.
My anxiety is through the roof and I feel kind of numb, wouldn't wish this feeling on anybody.
I really need help to stop, just blocked myself from all gambling sites which I should have done a long time ago but couldn't bring myself to do it.
Paul
You have to accept you cannot ever gamble again. There is no such thing as being up. You will always continue playing until you have nothing.
The reason you did not place the blocks originally is because you did not really want to stop.
If you are truly serious, and admit you cannot do it alone, then you must tell someone. Tell a friend, tell a family member, call gamcare. Speaking your problems aloud will help you to deal with it.
Stopping gambling is not easy, it is going to be a very tough and emotional few weeks/months. But it can be done. You can do it - just not alone.
Take one day at a time. Remember that gambling is pointless, expensive and brings nothing but pain. Accept that and you will not gamble again.
Good luck my friend
I know why.......it is because you are caught up in a powerful addiction. When we win we feel good, but when we stop we come down and we want to feel good again; nobody wants to come down. Even if we are in the action and losing, we at least have the anticipation of a win to keep us buzzing. When we stop, we have emptiness, nothing but pain and remorse in which to wallow. When we gamble we don't have to deal with life or problems or difficult feelings, because we have a place of sanctuary, somewhere we can hide.
I stopped gambling three and a half years ago and although I was painfully aware of the consequences, (death probably the most pertinent!!), there were times when I really wanted.......no needed to go back to my perfect little world. I don't call it that anymore, because it was a cage, a prison from which I narrowly escaped before substaining the ultimate loss.
I have learned more about myself in the past three years than I ever did in thirty years of gambling. Put blocks in place to help you in times of vulnerability, go along to a support group, be honest with yourself and others and do your damnest to become a better person. Gambling addiction is all about secrecy, deceit, dishonesty and escaping responsibility and uncomfortable feelings. Recovery is about confronting these things and evolving as a person to embrace a balanced and rewarding lifestyle.
If you have to chain yourself down to stop gambling for the next week or so, then you must do whatever is necessary. When you have beaten the early stages of withdrawal, you will be in a better position to step back, look at your life with a clearer head and work out a strategy for the future.
It is a difficult, but incredibly rewarding journey. I wish you well.
Ken
The two posts above are very accurate. If you genuinely want to stop you have to do whatever it takes. Importantly listen and learn from more experienced forum users. Also try and remember (just my view) that the money is just one part of it - think what it is doing to your mind?
Amazing replies guys, the blocks are now in place. I hit rock bottom today, I felt the lowest I've ever felt and had to get out of the house to clear my head, I'm still feeling low but I'm accepting what's done is done, I have a few money problems to worry about now but I know they won't be forever, I am generally an unhappy person at the best of times but if my recovery helps me become a better person and start feeling a sense of achievement then it will do me the world of good. Thanks for the replies, means alot that people I've never met feel or have felt the same way and understand how horrible the addiction is. First day of the rest of my life now, I've got too much to lose!
Amazing replies guys, the blocks are now in place. I hit rock bottom today, I felt the lowest I've ever felt and had to get out of the house to clear my head, I'm still feeling low but I'm accepting what's done is done, I have a few money problems to worry about now but I know they won't be forever, I am generally an unhappy person at the best of times but if my recovery helps me become a better person and start feeling a sense of achievement then it will do me the world of good. Thanks for the replies, means alot that people I've never met feel or have felt the same way and understand how horrible the addiction is. First day of the rest of my life now, I've got too much to lose!
If you're an idiot then i'm an adiot too, so you're not the only idiot. I've felt like that many times, what an adiot, why did i do that, what i could have done with that money, i wanted to slap myself, it's madness. Get yourself together and tell yourself this, it's over, it's gone, it was all a lie and fantasy. Real life is tough, get out there and smell the cold air, get it in your veins and fight for life, a good life. Like you i'm generally an unhappy person, mainly because i like perfection and honesty, but i'm striving for generally unhappy but sane. The consequence of gambling is the naughty bit, it fills the brain with all sorts of negative and positive feelings that all turn out to be horrible and jumbled up, you end up getting money and gambling again. The brain even tells me to forget the last 30 odd years of losing, it will be different the next time with a big win, what a mess because i've had a few big wins and it's all gone. One day at a time works, how can it fail. I wish you the best.
Thanks Orbits I've been through all them emotions in the space of an hours gambling and a huge loss. Never want to feel that way again and I guess that's kind of spurring me on. I'll get there. More determined than ever.
I found this comment really helped me: "tell yourself this, it's over, it's gone, it was all a lie and fantasy". Thanks Orbits
When you step back of course it's a lie and fantasy. A friend said to me gambling is dressed up in many ways to get your money from A (you), to B (the casino, bookies, whoever). The documentary on the BBC recently was enlightening also, the guy who looks at why we gamble and our brains said that a payout rate of say 97 percent will payout 97 percent, but that's over a long period of time and most gamblers have blown all their money before this happens, THIS MADE SENSE TO ME. It's clever because like a hoover it just keeps sucking people dry, then the next sucker comes along whilst the other one is waiting for payday, then he's dry and the payday guy is back with more cash to blow, it's never ending money. The only way to win is to win big and walk away, the chances of that happening is slim, there's more chance of a mothership coming down and an alien stroking my head and my hair grows back. It's time to wake up and stop. Money comes through working for it and saving, it just takes time.
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