Hi everyone,
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new here, but wife of a gambler so have been reading on and off over some time. Husband of 9 years has relapsed again. I’ve lost count over the course of our marriage how many times this has happened. The worst time was when our oldest was a week old and I seen over £1000 moved to his account in one day.Â
last year I made sure that my wages were paid to me and not joint account, so that I made sure we had some money if happened again, and of course it did. He took on another job working evenings and weekends, and this week it’s happened again. The money that he was earning from the part time job which was supposed to go towards paying off £8k of CC debt has been going to gambling. Now in fact he tells me he has debt of over £20k. We have another child who is 7 weeks and I am at a loss what to do. I know it’s an illness and at the time he tells me he wants to stop and we agree a plan - when I action this or ask to see statements etc all I get is ‘do you not trust me?’ It got so bad a few years ago I walked out for the weekend but we are going round in circles. It may sound selfish but I have not had one pregnancy or maternity leave where this hasn’t happened, I haven’t had the worry of when will it happen again and I feel resentment. This might not make sense but I just don’t know what to do.Â
he has left our joint account with £2 and thankfully most of bills are paid and I have money set aside but I am distraught.Â
Hi
I'm from his side of the street
Can I ask how he has given up ? Is it just through abstinence or has he got help ?
I gambled for 44 years and I've thrown myself into recovery as I never want to relapse and haven't come close.
I work on recovery every day. Alongside Gamcare and the chatrooms on here I regularly attend GA three times per week and am doing the 12 steps which has changed my life. I have absolutely no interest in gambling. I have all the blocks in place but haven't even come close to testing themÂ
@lp5vut869c he had blocked himself on individual websites in the past, but then last year he used gamstop. It’s left him that he is going to have to look at a loan or balance transfer for the credit card debt but because he already has so much debt he is unable to get any more. I feel like the only resort left is that I look at a loan so we don’t incur interest which is imminent, but I selfishly don’t want to take anything out in my name. I guess we are struggling a bit more now due to me being on maternity pay until I return in January. We both earn good money but things are tight.Â
thank you for your reply.Â
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