Hello Everyone,
My name is Adam and have been betting since the age of 18. Now aged 32 it has been a constant; occasionally a friend (an escapism rather) but as many will recognise, a foe in the long run. Here's my story and please, reach out to me if you want chew the fat or need advice from a fellow addict.
Warwick Races 1995, aged 13 got me hooked on the sport I love to this day. Not their fault but there I was advising my family which horse I wanted my £1 e/w on (or rather their £1 e/w on!). What began this day was a love affair with racing. My boyhood hero wasn't a footballer or a movie star but One Man, See More Business and Flagship Uberalles! 30 racecourses, greyhound ownership, 5 years working for one of the 'big 3' and believe it or not a one-off TV appearance on the now ceased channel 425 later and I was pumping note after note into FOBTs on a daily basis whilst some virtual fodder whirred away in the background. Completely out if control. Trip after trip to the cashpoint, credit card application after credit card application.
In the missing years I've done the lot and it gives me no pleasure at all to admit it. I've lied, borrowed, gone without, lost friends and even got hold of my mother's credit card once. I even remember doing my every last penny, finding a one pound coin in my car and walking back to the betting shop to gamble that too - at the time my last pound in the world.
In the betting shop management days I remember seeing customers day in day out who I knew had problems and thinking how desperate they looked - one chap cried, actally cried as he completed the self-exclusion paperwork. At the same time I was on this very spiral, unknowingly at the start. Racing, form studying and owning dogs made way for any 'quick fix' I could find and betting shop slots soon took over. 'They're the crack C*****e of the betting industry' a colleague once said when they were introduced and boy was he not wrong. Oh to bring back the pleasure of seeing some staying chaser get up on the line in the mud at Uttoxeter or Hereford and winning a tiny sum in the process, or not even.
The here is now is that after one year of being free from gambling I had a month-long blip from December to last Friday, resulting in yet another guily and tearful admission to my darling partner. For anyone out there who is at rock bottom it can be done and you will do it...my advice is talk to anyone who'll listen as its amazing how 'coming out' as it were helped me. Hynotherapy was my initial saviour in the end but what the last month has proven to me is to never let your guard down. I once owed 20k which is now down to 5k so I'm trying to look at the positives despite being so angry with myself.
A question if I may....zero tolerance vs. tight control, which has worked best for you? I tried 'I'll never bet again so long as theres breath in my body' but the 'blips' when they do come have been very bad; albeit the 11 months most recently was the longest I've gone since I was 18. I have handed over full control of my salary to my partner, at least whilst I know I am back in the betting zone. We have discussed her setting up an on-line account an transferring a small amount per month into it. I have a bet on a Saturday through her but cannot access the account. Would or could this strictly controlled way get it out of my system as it were?
Thanks for reading and I hope to chat with some of you more along the way. You are never alone.
AJM
zero tolerance, I know tight control seems attractive but it does not work in my experience. Be well
I agree with MichaelS,
Quit for good. Block sites/self exclude/seek counselling/Have someone else guard your finances. Put as many obstacles to access betting as you are able.
Don't put yourself and your family through future years and years of pain. Learn from the likes of me. There's no future in gambling. Believe me I post from bitter experience.
Think about it.
Imagine an alcoholic telling you he/she is only going to take sips of wine on occassion. Then ask yourself how long will it be before he/she not only fiinishes the glass, but the whole bottle. That is what equating tight control is. We are addicts. We may take a few sips in the beginning, but it won't be long before we finish the bottle.
Thank you for your kind replies. My latest episode hit me harder than ever before as I really thought I'd beaten it. I couldn't go a day without betting a few years ago so progress made I suppose. Zero tolerance has to be the continued mindset. I think I am feeling beaten/condemed to bet which is why this felt like an option. My love is horseracing but the inevitable betting association will perhaps never go away. Thanks again.
First of all well done on your previous success.
I am sure you will do it again - I think everone will have blips during their recovery but getting back on it is a positive thing.
Its a good question to ask though and one i need to ask myself too. My problem gambling is online sites - these cause the trouble. I dont go into bookies/casinos etc I think it is a success if i stop these. However is the occassional scratch card a defeat? Can i still play the lottery? Have a bet with a friend? (monetry or otherwise) as these are all gambling too!
I think my aim is to stop the gambling online (the above things i do only occasionally anyway and dont see them as a problem) Silly thing i just realised is that i stopped doing the lottery when it changed to 2 quid as its a rip off but i can spend 5 hours online spending my whole wages - how warped is that.
Anyway good luck in your new journey xxx
Thanks! Your last point is so true...I once had a customer who would bet £1k - £3k on every greyhound race throughout the day and yet he'd only 'treat' himself to a can of Coke after he'd had a win. I'm the same, spent 30 mins the other weekend trying to work out which Dominos pizza offer was the best value when the day before I'd lost £500....gambling does indeed give you a horrible warped sense of value for money and the acceptable/unacceptable.
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