Hi everyone
I never thought In a million years that I would be posting on a gambling support site. I'm meant to be the one with my head screwed on, the person that never does anything wrong. The good girl.
I have a gambling addiction that started around 8 years ago. I never even thought of gambling until my partner came home and told me that his friend had made alot of money by placing sports bets. It intrigued me and I thought oh wow if he can make money then I can. That's when it all started. I started placing sports bets. I would loose but I would also win and the winning part was such a nice feeling. I loved having extra money in my pocket, I loved being able to buy what I wanted.
However after a year or so I started to gamble more, I started to loose more and I started to chase my losses. I have lost in the region of about £20,000. I'm in debt because of it and have even spent our rent money and council tax money doing it. I've borrowed money from family and lied about the reason why I needed the money. Ive lied to my partner, he now knows the truth and will support me through this but he is hurting alot and I feel so bad.
He doesn't understand how I could bet our rent money knowing that we could end up homeless because of it. We have two children and he doesn't understand how I can put them at risk. I tried to explain that when your in this gambling bubble you dont think of anything or anyone else. All you care about is winning. The only time I think about what I have done is when I've run out of money and I've lost it all. Only then do I feel a huge sense of guilt and disappointment with what I have done.
Anyways to cut a long story short. I have told my partner, dad and brother that I have a gambling addiction. They are all very supportive. I still need to tell my mum but she suffers from depression so not sure of I should?
I'm seeing my GP today to see if I can get some help and to get signed off as my mental well being is not very good at the moment.
I hope to get some clarity by joing this forum.
Dear @lele,
Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. Please keep accessing our forum so you can get support from your peers and share your experiences and goals with each other.
You may also like to join one of our chatroom sessions, they open daily from 1pm until 2pm and then again at 8pm until 9pm with an extended closing time of 21:30pm on a Sunday evening. If so, please access it via our GamCare website.
I'm sorry to hear of your struggles, you've taken a really big and brave step by joining our forum to share your situation with us all which is fantastic.
Well done on opening up to your partner, Dad and Brother. We know this isn't always easy to do and although it's something we encourage people to do, we understand it's not always possible. It's great that your partner is supporting you although I hear things are still raw at the moment.
It's great to here you're seeing your GP today so they can support you with your mental health, there are also helplines that you can call if you need to talk further such as MIND, CALM and The Samaritans.
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/
If you need any help or support with essential living costs, debt or financial matters then please contact the Citizens Advice. There are also other charities that you can call for help with debt.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/help-with-debt/
https://www.nationaldebtline.org/
It may help to speak to your landlord and the Council Tax office if you're still in arrears with them and struggling to pay it. They are then aware of the situation and you can try to work through a plan to together whilst discussing your options with them.
Problem gambling can make people act in ways they wouldn't have done before the problem gambling became a priority, it can make you develop certain traits and characteristics such as the ones you've listed above.
Please know that you and your Family are never alone, we're here for everyone affected by problem gambling. Overcoming gambling is an achievable challenge, many people go on to live a gamble and debt free life and you can do the same in time.
You've already made great progress in the steps you've taken so far, this is your journey so what works for one person might not be right for you. Please keep looking until you find what feels comfortable and most suited to you.
Have you thought about your partner taking over financial control or changing your bank account to one that blocks gambling transactions and puts a limit on the daily amount you can withdraw such as the Monzo account?
There is also self exclusion that you can put in place for different forms of gambling and there is blocking software that you can install to your phone or device if you access online gambling. There is a charge for most blocking software registrations, this however normally covers a full year before it needs renewing.
If you would like further support, to talk things through, to discuss more coping strategies or a free referral making for some support sessions in the form of counselling then please either call our helpline on 0808 8020 133 or access our Netline (web chat) through our website.
I hope your GP appointment goes well today.
Kindest Regards
Joanne
Forum Admin
I hope you stop this terrible addiction my mental health has been poor because of gambling. This Illness/ addiction, plunges us into the depths of despair plesae areest this awful addiction now.
The withdrawal symptoms from compulsive gambling can be awful but persevere. In the Long term no one makes money out of gambling and even when you win it just means you have more money to gamble with so its a never ending treadmill you can't get off. Don't try to win the money back it just makes things worse.
all the Best re Johnny 57
Hi... I am much the same. I completely lose touch with the value of money when I am gambling. It becomes like tokens so I can carry on gambling. Its only when i stop gambling that I properly get in touch with what I have just done, with all the let down emotions that then follow.
It is not easy to step off the gambling merry go round. You do need some practical barriers. have you signed up to gamstop yet? Once done you will fine that your gambling accounts will be blocked. Its very effective.
Keep posting and all the best.
Hi @Lele,
Well done for posting on this site. Most CG's can't understand how we end up here, because deep down we know gambling has turned us into someone we're really not.
I actually believe you have already done the two most important things by admitting you have a problem, and owning up and talking to loved ones about it. For me that lifted the horrible weight off of my shoulders. It's good to hear they are going to support you through this.
Do you gamble online? If so I would strongly recommend joining GAMSTOP. Self-excluding yourself from all local bookmakers is a good idea too, whether you go in them or not. Try and get yourself to a GA meeting if you can. It's great to be in a room with people in a similar position and talk it out.
I gave my cards to my partner for a few months. I let her have access to my credit report too. We downloaded an app called life360 which allowed my other half to see my location for a while.
On the 13th Feb I will be free from gambling for a year. Such an amazing feeling I can assure you, and trust me, the time goes so quick. I don't think about it anymore, I prefer to save my money and spend time helping others.
All the best with your recovery.
You could be writing about my life! like you this is my first time bringing myself to writing on here, despite telling my family i would see help years ago, i really hope we can both get through this, im making this as my day one
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