Hi all
New here and fresh from admitting my addiction, confessing to wife and waking up to a debt mountain. Days ago I was up at 4am wasting £x. I can’t explain it.
Things are pretty bleak. My wife is struggling to understand how I got myself into such a mess and tbh it is tough to explain. I don’t really understand it myself. I know gambling is a mugs game but somehow I got hooked and seduced by slots and free spins offers.
I started by thinking I could beat the casino and to begin with I did, got lucky and won big. But before I knew it I’d gambled it all back then I started chasing losses and the money hole got bigger and bigger. I transferred between credit cards, opened new ones, and the debt spiral grew to equal my whole years salary. I began to think that the only way I could pay it back was... to gamble. Crazy!
Now I feel as if I have woken up from a trance. I feel certain that I won’t go back but also aware how complex this addiction is. I am so full of shame, guilt, remorse and regret. And I’m so angry at the casinos and bookmakers and all their tricks.
I am taking all the steps I can to move forward. Talking to people. Getting primed for GA. I feel like I will become a better person. My wife is cynical and I understand that but I feel strangely positive that I am moving forward.
Any good vibes appreciated. Stay strong.
Dear Zamora,
Thank you for your post to the Forum and welcome to Gam Care.
It already sounds like you have made some really positive steps to make changes and address your gambling, so well done; we understand it is not easy so I think you are doing exactly the right things, putting as much support as possible in to place. If you have not already done so you might also consider some gambling blocks, such as self-exclusion for bookmakers (MOSES), casinos (Sense) and online gambling sites (Gam Stop).
You mention gambling debt so it may well be useful to get some free independent advice around the best way to manage these debts, whether this be debt consolidation or a debt management plan.
We can also offer you free treatment support which in addition to GA may help in addressing the bigger picture of your gambling, looking at any underlying issues, factors that may have contributed to your gambling, triggers and so on.
If you would like to talk to one of the Gam Care advisers about any of these suggestions, please do feel free to contact us either on our live chat or on the helpline 0808 8020 133 both of which are available 7 days week, 24 hours a day.
Wishing you all the very best,
Forum Admin
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