Hey my name is Leo im 25, my story is like a lot of people in the fact that i started gambling small on the weekend football, but the last 4 months have been bad im doing 100 pound plus per bet im getting into debt abit i owe about 3k as it stands i just cant stop the annoying thing is i know why i do it , its a escape from my anxiety it helps me forget it completely which is great in the short term but then i lose which adds to it , i guess all i want is to know if someone else has any tips or something to replace the escape its funny because it has to be something big like drink/drugs to replace this massive high that takes my full force nothing else works ;/ anyway thanks for reading.
Hi Leo, welcome to the Forum,
I can relate to a great deal of what you are saying as I gambled for twenty years before stopping over five years ago, plus I was once diagnosed with social anxiety disorder.
The thing I found that helped me most was getting away and giving my mind and spirit a chance to breathe; I would just jump on a train and go somewhere remote, just to walk and think for a few hours - it is very liberating, and it has helped me enormously.
Gambling gives you a huge high as you say, but what is it based on? If you win, you crave more of the same almost instantly, which invariably leads to losing. If you lose, then you face soul-wrenching desperation to regain what you have lost, which invariably leads to losing and then spending money you don't have - this is why gambling is, and always will be, a lose-lose scenario for you; the "rush" you experience is based on a lie, that you will be able to stop, walk away and actually spend the money you win.
Since stopping, I realize now that any high I ever felt through gambling was very fleeting - it never lasted long, even after a big win; it doesn't last because you don't crave winning money, but you crave the sensation of attaining it - you haven't actually achieved anything, you can't impress your friends or get kudos from your family. Neither is there any sense of genuine joy or fulfilment - you feel quite hollow afterwards and there is always a fairly significant comedown.
Since stopping, I do charity work, write, sing, go hiking and much more - these give me genuine highs that can last for days, and they make me genuinely happy. Some days are better than others concerning my anxiety, but it has lessened enormously since stopping gambling; I feel so much more relaxed and focused.
There are a lot of open doors at your age my friend - your anxiety issues make things more difficult than most, but certainly not impossible; what you can't do is bury your head in the sand and resign yourself to your fate because this problem will grow and grow and grow - your are worth more than that, you deserve a life where you don't have this hanging over you.
JamesP
Hey James, Thank you for the welcome
I must say it is really good of you to reply, they are wise words that deep down i know are right, some days im fine then others it just takes over its not about money for me its a distraction from my problems but i will indeed try my best to find a new hobbie.
I have got pure ocd at present which im sure you have heard of it, its pure mental and sometimes it gets too much but i know their just thoughts but they scare the hell out of me but hey ho i will keep fighting as you say im young and i can still aim for my goals , thanks again JamesP all the best.
Hi mate,
You're at a similar age to me albeit 3 years older. I can't really comment much cause I'm only on my second day from abstaining from gambling. All I can say is just take the necessary steps self exclusion from bookies is a great start.i did it 2 days ago and the staff were surprisingly supportive. But inside it feels great you feel you've actually made a positive step. Also maybe try ringing a gamcare helpline and just get everything off your chest I did that too and it really helped put things into perspective. We're both young and have the future so let's try and beat it. I've found rekindling stuff you enjoy has helped me a lot. I used to hit the gym everyday before I started gambling and when my gambling began to spiral I never went back to the gym but now I've signed up and started training again. Find a pass time/hobby you enjoy. Wish you all the best matey 🙂
Hi lucasio/ rams. James P has offered you some solid words and I just wanted to offer my own. From my own experience it's a little bit about the danger of complacency in addiction. I started gambling late on, in my early 30s and I can still remember coming on here in the early stages and looking at some of the advice but doing very little about it. Even though in my mind I wanted to stop there was all kinds of thoughts going through my head that really contributed to relapse/ continuation of my addiction. Thoughts like 'I've only lost x' ' I can place small bets' 'I'm young and can recover from this'. The best advice I could give you is that you both have made very positive steps coming here and in rams case, self excluding. Please fully understand though the real seriousness of this addiction, read the stories here, including mine of 3k becoming 30k etc etc of life and relationships being ripped apart. Use this window you have to get to grips through counselling, reflection etc as to why you do this (lucasio you seem to know some of this already). The other issue is the road to recovery is trips and falls and the other advice I would offer you is while you are on it if you can get someone to take some of your responsibility/access to money. This is a powerful powerful addiction. I know that in the past I failed to fully appreciate it's destructive force. Don't let the same happen to you and I wish you all the best to recovery
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