Today is the most depressing day ever in my life. I discovered that I was a gambling addict. I was so surprised that I really want to stop this mess over my life. Gambling ruin my life. Gambling take total control over my life. Today i lose about 160 euro. Yesterday I gambled another 160 euro. I really cannot stop to chase my loss. Because in my mind, I can recover my losses. But it seems to be the greatest trap of the devil to really destroy my life. Literally! I really cannot believe the amount of money that I've lose through gambling. Approximately it was more than 2.5k euro and I was in serious debt because I owed money from the bank to fund my addiction and payday loans. I'm really scared now. I really don't know on how will i able to pay them. 🙁 I completely understand now, that gambling defeated me. I cannot recover my losses anymore. The money was gone and I'm really really depressed. I was thinking about ending my life. Having suicidal thoughts is too vague. Because i know this is not the end of the road. It has to have an end. I should stop gambling addicion over my life or i will suffer more. I have to stopped the devil. I realized that I cannot win anymore. It's true! You can't defeat the house (bookies). I've discovered that there was match fixes and rigged matches over the esports betting. And i was a victim of it. I'm so very stupid! I regret my decision to chase my losses. Because I don't have a choice. I literally have a huge debt to pay. And i think if I will win, i can pay it. But that's the trap there. I cannot win it back. I have to admit i was a victim. That i pay them a huge learning experience. A luxurious one. I know that i can fight this! But im really scared over my debt. I have a job but it's not paying that well to cover the losses.
Please pray for me 🙁 I really need help. Help!
Hello gamblingruinmylife30,
Well done for joining our forum and sharing your story. It is great that you are reaching out for support. You mentioned euros, so in case you are based outside Britain, you might also like to look at this website: https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/en
We also have a links page that offers some information about sources of support in other countries: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/about-us/links-other-support-agencies
You mentioned that you've had suicidal thoughts at times, please also talk with your GP if you are finding that your mood has been badly impacted by your gambling problem. Using your local doctor's support could help you with your mood and may be another way to access other sources of help locally.
Take care,
Forum admin.
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