New to forums

Hi Elfie17 - Welcome to the site and well done for realising that you need to do something now about your gambling. The best advice I can give is to read as many posts on the site as you can and also engage with other members.

There is a wealth of good advice here, but also reading about people with the same problems and feelings as you, does help.

Remember it's one day at a time - we have all had to start on Day 1 like you, and you will soon see the days mount up and believe me, you will start to feel better about yourself even after a few days of non-gambling.

Also, take a look at the '2014 Challenge' on the 'Overcoming problem gambling' page.

This is a team effort where we all support each other and commit ourselves to stop gambling completely. Mr Brightside (our leader) has recently posted some good tips about succeeding in recovery and you might find them helpful. I think you should find his post either on the last or penultimate page of the thread.

Remember - you can do it!

Joanna

Hi JOanna. Thank you for responding to my thread. I got up this morning and I am scared of the day ahead as I have to admit once again to someone that I have been gambling and ask for a hand out again. Half of me though is feeling quite relieved that I have made the start to live a normal life. This is usually the time when I would use the last of my money (29 to be precise) to win back any losses. What a joke. As I am not working today that is usually a bad time for me but after I have typed this I will do some housework. I have to stop thinking of my past mistakes and look to the future now. I feel sure with support I will be able to do it this time and will certainly look at the challenge. Elfie17

Good morning Elfie17 - Glad to see that you are starting the day on a more positive note.

I can see that it will be hard for you to ask for a loan but this time it will be different as you have made the decision to quit. Some people find that handing over control of their finances to a trusted family member is a great help. Is that an option for you?

Keeping busy (even housework!) is also a good way to avoid the lure of gambling. Are there any interests you had before gambling took over your life? Many people on this site have found that without gambling so many other opportunities open up for them - some as simple as getting out in the fresh air and spending quality time with the family.

You will find I am sure that you will get the 'urge' to have another bet or find a new gambling site - it happens to us all. Just remember that it is simply a feeling that can pass quite quickly. And you will feel so much stronger and better if you can say 'no' to it.

Best wishes,

Joanna

Good Morning Joanna

Day one has passed and I am starting to feel much better. Finances are passed over to someone else and the offending iPad is on semi-permanent loan to my grandson so Money and Opportunity (PC is blocked from gambling) are now gone. I will be looking for things to fill the extra time now as it seems to me I was always on my iPad even if not gambling. I did have a lot of interests before so I am trying to find the motivation to re-visit them. Hopefully I can sort out the money side today then I will feel a lot better about things. Thank you for your words of encouragement - I have signed up for the Challenge so that will help a lot as well. Do I take it from your user name that you are a LOTR fan? If so, it is very uncanny because I am a huge fan and will be getting back to playing LOTR online again as I have time on my hands now. That won't cost me anything and I used to get a lot of enjoyment from that. Back to work today, loan to sort out and now looking to the future. Will update money situation later.

Take care

Elfie

Hi Elfie - Great to read such a positive post from you re. getting your finances sorted out and looking for more interesting things to do other than feeding money into slots!

Yes I am a LOTR fan - I should have guessed you were too by your name! I am so old that I remember listening to the first BBC radio version in 1981 (but I read the book first!). I still play the CDs of this - funny that Ian Holm is Frodo, with John Le Mesurier as Bilbo, and the incomparable Michael Hordern as Gandalf, oh and a young Bill Nighy as Sam! But top of the list is Peter Woodthorpe as Gollum - still the best I think.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy your new-found leisure time and am so glad you are already feeling better. Online gambling was my dirty little secret and I feel so much 'cleaner' and healthier since getting shot of it. Glad you've joined our merry band in the Challenge too.

All the best,

Joanna

Hi Joanna

How spooky that I should find another LOTR fan on here but then again there are many of us. I don't recall the radio version of LOTR but at that time I was busy having the children. I have read the book numerous times and seen the films, even do quizzes on line to test my knowledge sometimes. I sound really geekish but I don't care. As I said before I play the online version which is great. At times I would prefer to be in Middle Earth fighting Sauron then here battling this addiction. At least you can see the enemy, well his eye anyway!!

I think online gambling is the favourite for most women from what I have read in books and on the internet. Why is every other advert on TV telling us how great gambling is? I want to yell at the TV sometimes that 'no, it's isn't great'. A good friend of mine who is aware of my problem says she thinks of me everytime a casino advert comes on TV.

Everything is in place to stop gambling now, block on PC, both laptop and Ipad on loan to my grandson, finances taken over and money borrowed. The money borrowed was the hardest. I owe so much to loans, work and my sister already that I couldn't ask them again so went to the one person who I thought might help. Yes, she did help and I expected disappointment, anger even but not perhaps the huge guilt trip. I wanted to talk about my problem, explain it, but she didn't want to know. I am grateful though and it is done now and I am looking to the future. It will take a long time to finally be financially OK again and things will be tight but not as tight as keeping on gambling. So, day 3 is starting for me today and I have decided to start a recovery diary as I have been reading some posts on there and it seems a good idea to keep a track of how I am feeling so I can go back to reading it when times get rough. I so so glad and grateful that I have found this site, as I said before there is no help available in Guernsey for CGs despite my best efforts.

Thank you so much for your support and words of encouragement, I do appreciate it and I am so glad you are doing so well in your recovery.

Best wishes

Elfie

Hi Elfie

Welcome to this wonderful forum and very well done on day 3

One day at a time you can win every day it's so much better than losing every day

It's good to have a diary to vent your feelings on it really helps with your recovery

Best wishes

Suzanne x

Hi Elfie

Well done on reaching day three, find myself in a virtually identical situation, 10 years, new to forums and on day three! Best of luck, you can beat this

Andy

Hi Elfie - Glad you are doing well and things seem to be looking a bit brighter for you.

Sorry for the delay in responding; as I have mentioned in my Diary this evening, I have been on grandma duty all day and away from the computer.

I agree with you totally about the TV ads for gaming sites; mostly aimed at women and telling us how much fun there is to be had.

You only have to read some of those awful chat areas on the bingo sites to see how much moaning goes on about losses. I'm amazed at how long it took me to realise that you usually only win at the beginning and then start the steady decline into chasing losses. I would like to see the ads banned - after all, gambling is just as harmful as smoking or drinking in my opinion. I have also started to shout at Ray Winstone's disembodied head saying 'You'll love it!' No I won't Ray and it's going to cause a lot more misery in the world.

On a happier note, give the BBC version of LOTR a try if you ever find a set at a boot sale! I suppose it does verge on the camp a bit and somewhat dated, but I love it and have listened to it so much I almost know it word for word. I did liken the gambling habit once on here to having Frodo's burden round my neck and wishing I could cast it into the fires of Mordor. I think I may well have reached that point now, and fervently hope that you will get there before long.

Really pleased that you have joined the Challenge, and thank you for the nice words. I am only too pleased to give any advice and encouragement I can and before long you will be doing so too, to newcomers.

I envy your living in Guernsey - my husband was a frequent visitor there in his business days and did consider moving us there at one time - probably missed the boat now!

Best wishes, and a big 'well done' for your progress made.

Joanna

Hi Suzanne, Andy and Joanna.

Thank you for the welcome and words of encouragement, it feels like coming home. I haven't felt like this for a long time. Andy, I am the same too, 10 years gambling. Never thought I would be 'like that' but I realise now that we are nice people who have just lost our way a bit. Well, a lot really. I think the first couple of nice wins (1,000 on online bingo and 1,000 on online scratchcard ) did it for me, I thought then I was invincible and what an easy way to make money. It's hard to explain what it is like except to a fellow CG. Like any addiction I guess you don't know what it is like unless you are caught in it's ugly web. A bit like Shelob isn't it Joanna? Sorry, a Lord of the Rings joke.

I will start my diary at the weekend when I have more time. Do I use the diary instead of new members forum when I start it? As I said I am new to forums so not sure how it works.

Joanna, my sister has the BBC series on CD which she is going to lend to me. She remembered it was Ian Holm as Frodo too. I am looking forward to listening to it.

Guernsey is a great place to live, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I was born here and raised my children here who are still here with their children. My sister lives about 30 yds away (yards? how old am I?) so that is great.

So, the start of day 4 for me. So encouraging to see other members with their many days in recovery. Gives me hope for the future. As everything is in place now - the triangle - I am looking forward to the next payday as there will be no chance of me gambling unless I actually go out and buy a new computer or iPad. As I am paying back so much money that is not going to happen so I am confident I can finally do this. Don't misunderstand me, the urge is still there. Sometimes I can see the reels of my favourites slots going round in my head - is that weird or do others get that as well?

Once again, thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement.

A light from the shadows shall spring.

Elfie x

Hi Elfie

Well done on day 4 the days do soon mount up into weeks

You can start your diary on the recovery diaries section

Having a diary has helped me to let my thoughts and feelings out

Online slots was my downfall too and I occasionally see the stupid pictures spinning round in my mind and I think now how stupid was I just keep thinkng can't win because I can't stop

Suzanne x

Hi Elfie - I love reading your posts as they are so positive now and looking to the future.

A massive 'well done' on your journey so far.

Yes, a diary is a good idea - look forward to reading of your progress there.

re. the imagined slots, yup me too! Although I find that the longer my abstinence then the more the memory of them fades - I have just had to struggle to remember the name of a couple of my favourite ones! I dread to think what hours in front of the screen in 'the bad old days' watching those silly reels spinning did to my brainwaves, let alone my eyesight...

Glad you can borrow the LOTR CDs - I'll be interested to read what you think of them.

Best thoughts,

Joanna

Hi Elfie. Well done on reaching day 4 (ditto!). I was the same as you, couple of initial large wins and then a downward spiral which sadly has lasted almost ten years! Sounds so stupid when you actually say it out loud!

I've started a diary, I'm finding it theraputic just writing down my thoughts daily. I will look out for yours

Best wishes

Andy

Hi Joanna, Suzanne and Andy

Day 5 and looking even more to the future. I am so glad I found this site. It helps so much to 'talk' about it and get so much feedback.

I have been 'chatting' to Ryan in the new members. Poor lad, I think I came over as the over-protective parent a bit. But I don't like to think of a young person going through years of torment like I have done. I am old enough to know better. I no longer want to live in fear and shame. Fear of no control over my own life and shame of the power gambling has (had) over me. I am the person my daughters and grandchildren look up to, the person friends come to with their problems. The person at work always with a smile on her face and a joke or two. If only they knew the torment inside. If only they knew the times I have gone home from work, after saying 'Mmmm, what shall I have for my tea tonight?', to have bread and jam again. I am sure my partner thinks I have a small appetite or just not hungry. Yeh right, look at the size of me - I could eat a donkey in a bap I am so hungry sometimes. Oops, I am waffling.

Anyways, I will start my diary later today. So if you want to hear more waffling just tune in to my diary.

Thanks again for all the support and encouragement, it means a lot to me.

And Joanna, I will definitely let you know what I think of the LOTR CDs, can't wait to start them.

Take care

Elfie