Hi all so I'm new here and I guess I'm looking for support as doing it alone just wasn't working and I need to accept this is a real addiction.
I racked up 20k of debt gambling and lost 15k savings. I did it in a relatively short time frame, a matter of months. I'm 32, I've always been very good with my money and I can't really comprehend what I did or why I did it.
I've been financially stable the majority of my adult life and even quite frugal without any real need to be, my partner of 8 years just didn't see this coming, I've always been so good with money. I guess the anxiety of debt and losing my life savings got me to a point where I told her. She's been so supportive and it makes me feel sick to my stomach why the hell I've done this. If anything how well she's coped has left me riddled with guilt. I'm now on a DMP to manage my debt and start fresh.
I self excluded, I had never lost any big money and it was the odd thing I did every couple of months. So I thought great I won, I'll take a break because I hear winning is how addiction starts. The problems all came after self exclusion for me, I regretted self excluding and I used Non gamstop/gamban casinos. I lost it all the winnings, the savings and then took out 20k of debt.
But I still find myself using an old laptop every time I start to get my funds back on track again and use one of these stupid websites. I haven't told my partner but I've been stuck in this cycle for months. All of my logic tells me you lost a insane amount of money using these websites, WHY THE HELL AM I STILL DOING THIS.
My thoughts feel so muddled because I guess I will always find a way to do it and can't trust myself not to. I feel like I go through the month after I gamble living on the bread line and tell myself I won't do it again, money gets back on track and then boom I just do it again. Feels compulsive and secretive. I don't really know the best way to combat it anymore, it's like I try because I have to and the minute my mental and finical state gets back on track, low and behold I do it again.
Also,The time to take a break and when the fun stops campaign kind of feels like a mockery every time I turn on ITV.
Hi there Danny.
You will receive lots of help, advice and support on this site. I like you, resorted to those “dodgy” overseas gambling sites 👎. They are horrific. I would suggest you get in touch with a Gamcare advisor who can send you a link to install Gamban for free on up to I think 5 devices? That’s what I did, as this was my final step to lock everything down and prevent me from gambling online any further (which is where I did all my damage)🙈.
Take a look at my diary progress and read other diary entries in the “recovery diaries” section.
I too like you, gambled a substantial amount of my own money (27k), in just a matter of weeks and like you, normally savvy with my money and felt like I was in a bad dream!😩.
Wishing you all the very best. Stay strong. You can do this!💪.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
i just remember the terrible feeling i have that i do not want to feel that way again.
im very determined to stop that’s what’s getting me through the drive to stop because i always feel terrible.
i need to replace things in my life where gambling was.
My friend told me stop and that actually helps.
Hope you’ll find a way.
Take care
I know how you feel. I'm im the same boat. Signed up to gamstop for 5 years on and off but these non gamstop websites make it impossible for me as the temptation is always there. I've found that they ignore my requests to close my account permanently due to a gambling problem. Some of them will let you self exclude yet you can reopen your account at anytime. I'm in so much debt yet I earn a decent salary. I need a way to ban these websites and get some therapy or counselling. I'm hoping things will get better 🙏
Hi Danny and Ezzanus
Have you both tried Gamban and installing it on all your devices. This will stop you going onto any non gamstop sites. If you manage to get on one you can report them to Gamban and they will block them. Gamban is a free piece of software you can get from here or on Gamstop. It's a UK company but blocks international sites.
I would also suggest coming to the chatrooms on here. I got some great advice and help off people by talking on the live chat
Stuart
What you described is exactly how this cycle works. It stops being about logic, which is why it feels so frustrating. The most dangerous moment is not when you’re broke, it’s when things start getting better and you feel back in control, that’s when it pulls you back in. That old laptop is basically your way in every time, so as long as it’s there the pattern will keep repeating.
You’ve already taken big steps with the DMP and self exclusion, but doing this alone and keeping it secret makes it harder to break. What actually helped me was adding another layer of blocks. I installed Gamban on all my devices, but also looked for other ways to block access. I came across https://somagyarkaszinok.com/ where they had a support number for people struggling with this, and when I contacted them they suggested changing my DNS to something like CleanBrowsing Family Filter. It made those sites much harder to access. It’s not about willpower, it’s about removing access as much as possible and getting some support around you. You’re not the only one dealing with this.
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