Really struggling

Hi Thompson I go to gamanon and my husband GA. It helps it's a support group, you take from it what you want. If you are committed to stopping it will help. Also gamcare offer helpline and counselling, call them. Unfortunately honesty is the best policy, hand over finances. You need to find something else to replace the time spent gambling. FOBTs are destroying lives. Get some help and support today.

Hi Thompson9,

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for sharing your story here.

It’s seems like you’ve been struggling with your gambling problem for some time now; you said you were 16 years when you first started but, since we don’t know your age, we can’t work out how long you’ve been gambling.

The positive thing is that you are very determined and ready to wash your hands of gambling. Like always, Gamcare is able to offer you the help and support that you need to overcome your gambling problem.

You’ve made a positive move by attending counselling even though it hasn’t work for you yet. Just to make you aware that counselling works and helps most clients to come to terms with their issues, and encourages them to find a way forward. Sometimes, it takes a bit longer for some people to engage in the process, and everyone progresses at their own pace. That doesn’t mean it works for everybody, so I do understand your anxiety and frustration regarding your gambling problem, and I do empathise with your situation.

Gamcare runs a free phone Helpline, and I’m wondering whether you’d like to contact us on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to an adviser to find out what other options are available to you? Our service are available everyday from 8.00am to midnight.

A lot of our callers have found GA meetings very useful, so I think it’s worth trying to attend their meeting and find out how it would work for you.

I suggest that you be patient with yourself, and take it one step at a time.

It’s likely your wife might find out about your relapse in the long run, so maybe you can consider coming clean with her, and ask for her support as well.

Also, have you thought about replacing your spare/ gambling time with other activities to stop you from being bored, and to distract yourself from gambling?

My best wishes to you, and please keep posting!

Beatrice

Hi mate. All I can say, is fight it with every breath in your body. Put as many things in place as possible, but most importantly, implant a mindset that reminds you every single time you have the overwhelming urge ( which I too experience) that gambling is simply there to destroy our lives and take away everyone we love. All the very best and keep us posted. Mikey

Hi guys, I'm 26 now. I'm currently having councilling. I was feeling positive and hadn't gambled for 6 days I couldn't fight the thoughts today and lost 150 quid. I felt shocking, I know I can beat this horrible addiction. I've self excluded from everywhere near me now. When did people find that the urges started to disappear I'm still far from that but I have to stop but it completely ruins my life.

Hi Thompson it sounds like you need to hand over your finances to stop you. Did you go to a meeting? All these things help. If you really want to stop you need to put in place barriers, online, self exclusion. It also sounds like you need support, so maybe tell your partner give her your finances. I'm wife of cg, I have the finances. It will help.

Hi Thompson /Sam

When I came here nearly 2 yrs ago , my downfall was the Fob't machines inthe bookies and I've lost thousands playing them over quite a few years , I never had much of an issue with anything else but these things just took over my life , no wonder they call them the " C rack C*****e of gambling " and I really felt there was no way free of them and infact it had got to the point of thinking of taking my own life to escape them .

I self excluded from every bookie I used and well beyond ,in fact everywhere I would come into contact with them , I would alway's carry spare photos in my wallet just in case I found myself in anew place where temptation woud rise .

The first thing I have to tell you about Fobt's is that " You will never win nor beat them " , there designed by people far cleverer to get the adrenalin pumping with all there promises and near misses and giving you just enough back to keep you interested so you and I can then pay yet another visit to the cashpoint ( which luckily is just outside the bookies ) because were sure our luck's gonna change and it's due to pay out soon , I've even asked the counter staff to lock the machine so I can nip off for some more money so somebody else doesn't get there before me ! .

It's wasn't until I stiopped for a while that I actually realised that I'd been stood pumping thousands of pounds in these machines in the faint hope of winning ( or borrowing ) the maximum payout of £ 500 and that was if I had the max on one number and how often would that happen ? .

Mate I know so well what your going through , all those gut wrenching feelings in the pit of your stomach after another losing day, wondering how your going to get some more money to carry on feeding the machine or thinking how your going to cover the losses and it suck's it really does but the only way your ever going to be free is to draw a huge Mansize line in the sand and say " No more " as it really won't change until you decide to change it , It's about walking away and leaving it all behind , come to terms that the money's gone and let it go because all the time you dream of revenge or getting even a Fob't will carry on chewing you up and spitting you out , time and again ! .

I've tried every way of playing them , lot's of " Systems but at the end of the day it's a computer designed to take what you'll give it ! .

I'm not saying it's easy walking away and they'll be many urges along the way but if you fight them each day , believe me when I say it gets much easier as time passes and the life you truly want will be your's .

As Compulsive Gamblers " We cannot win because we cannot stop " It's not even about the money anymore and anything we win is just gambling tokens to carry on playing , it's just about the fix with us and you need to get your fix from what's all around you " Life " .

Keep posting Buddy !

All the best for now .

Alan

Thanks for you comments Alan you hit the nail on the head. I know I can do this I'm an intelligent lad I I currently make things so much harder for myself as a student by wasting my money. Definitely going to consider going to the GA meetings there seems to be some really good feedback about them. I find my councilling meetings very helpful and I tell her everything it's good to have someone neutral to open up to. I need to fight these urges and put every possible barrier in place to help me. Thanks for your comments everyone. I feel positive today.

Day 4 today feeling really focused, spoke to a friend yesterday who has gone gamble free for almost 10 months. He was severely addicted and I'm determined to do as well as him. Had a bit of anxiety but no urges my heads feels a bit clearer too.

6 days today feeling really good. It feels amazing not wasting my money and actually being able to have a clear head. This is the most focused I've felt for sometime and having all these blocks in the way if I do have any temptations make me stop and rethink. I have an exam tomorrow and it's been great to be able to focus on that and not when I can next place a bet. Focused on the week ahead.

11 days today feeling amazing that I haven't relapsed and already looking forward to a brighter future. I ended up telling my partner the truth and it's felt a huge weight off my shoulders. To the next seven days 🙂

Congrats on the 11 day's of getting your life back Thompson 🙂

It doesn't take long buddy for the good feeling's and a bit of self esteem to start coming back , so feed off of those feeling's and compare them to how you felt in the bad times of gambling and now , there really is no comparison my friend .

I'm so glad youv'e told your partner , so abig well done for that as well , it's not easy and takes some gut's to do but it'll stand you in good stead for the future and lighten the load as you move forward .

Keep on racking up the day's Bud and I'll talk to you soon !

The best advice on here was from Merry go round, this is the advice you will get at your first GA meeting also, hand over your finances. The reality is you have been handing them over to the bookies over the years just like I have done, so we must realise as compulsive gamblers we cannot really trust ourselves so we need the support of loved ones, family members or someone close to us. For me it was my partner who I had betrayed by racking up debt to fund my habit without her knowing. She now has full access to all my finances and credit history (Clear score for example shows your borrowings if you take our a loan or credit card) so she can see everypenny I spend and every penny I borrow (I dont make cash withdrawals now). Some GA members go further and have no cards or cash with them at all, their partner controls everything.
Literally its a battle with myself, so I cannot be trusted as I have shown in the past that I will lie to my loved ones and to myself just to feed my compulsion/addiction, tackling the issue honestly we realise we cannot due this through will power alone. Get to a GA meeting, put as much time and effort into it as you have into betting and you will get the strength, knowledge and support you need to tackle your compulsion.

I wish you well with it

20 days today I can't quite believe it. Something is finally beginning to click I just have no interest in it at all anymore. Having spoke to my friend who was in a much worse situation than me and he's now gamble free for a year now he's been a great driving force. I went to watch leeds play on Saturday and there was nowhere for me to go to the toilet walking back to the town centre so I walked into a B*****d went to the toilet and walked straight back out. I had no interest at all, my friends I went to the game with were also putting football bets online but it just didn't interest me. I have a telephone apppointment with my Gamcare councillor today and I can't wait to tell her how far I've come on. I think by finally telling my partner everything things are starting to feel much easier. It's still only early door and I'm taking each day at a time but I feel somewhere down the line there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Well done Thompson :)) .

It'snice to see you pushing forward with this , it's great that you also have your friend around for support too :)).

I know you walked in the bookies for the loo but don't get too complacent as it doesn't take much to get your mind racing again and it might end up with more than aPenny your spending :(( , maybe carry some photo's around with you in your wallet then if it happens again you could self exclude while your in there ? .

Anyway congrats and I'll look forward to seeing your first month in a weeks time :))

Talk to you soon my friend :))