ROCK BOTTOM :(

What actions are you going to take this time to change your situation? The obvious suggestion is to go back to GA. There's a lot of help and info on the forum, the helpline is a phone call away but you must know what needs to be done. Only you can do it - hand over financial control, ditch your devices, parental controls from your ISP, blocking software. Finding a support network of other new mums.

You know yourself that it's what you do that will change things. The prayer and intentions that you expressed on your previous thread are a good start but not a substitute for action.

The doctors can help with the depression but not with the addiction. For the addiction, you need habitual barriers and therapy. Looking at what the act of gambling is giving you and why you have that need.

It's doable, by you, for you. Not easy but doable. Hope you go for it.

CW

Hi... I am also at rock bottom. I empathise with all that you say. The financial stress is awful isn't it but like you say, its what it does to ones self-esteem and personality. I feel like a dead man walking at the moment. A broken soul.

Ive been on this merry go round for 20 years. I feel very sad. Your not alone thats for sure.

Try and take on board what CW has said. Remember that to gamble again would only be gambling to escape the consequences of the gambling "for a while"... "while in action"..... We don't stop until all funds have been used. The only solution is to stop and stay stopped.

You can it. I can do it.

Keep well.. S.A

Hi H,

I am new today too. The debt is hard I know, wishing you all the best.

Look forward to interacting on here.

Yes the guilt of debt gets you but for me it faded and the impulse came back again,you do need to put as many blocks up as you can then you have to face the addiction head on and sort your debts out,does your husband know of your gambling? If not it might be worth coming clean,I told my fiancГ©e it was the best thing I ever did and he was so supportive. Also try getting into a hobby,mine is being a fitness fanatic, gets me too tired to gamble and writing a blog and reading other people's stories helps,good luck hope we all can help you.

Hi all,

Thank you to everyone who commented you have all helped me to survive another day of gambling free and for me that's a massive step as I still have gambling thoughts constantly and this voice on my shoulder saying but if you just try again you could win all your money back plus more to pay debt off, how crazy and cunning the mind can be, it's a truly awful addictive mindset that's destroys the core of your very being, at the moment I have lost all self respect for myself and I am moody and very irritable and would you believe the cheek of it I tried to argue with my husband today over something so trivial but I think what I am recognising is because I am not listening to my gambling thoughts my mind is looking for new ways to try and create drama so I can gamble again with an excuse like but I've just had a massive argument I deserve to gamble and feel better, how crazy is this!

To SA I sympathise with you and I feel your pain truly do and your right it's staying stopped like you u have been fighting this on and off for 18 years and what a horrible vicious cycle we go through, is it any wonder our self esteem is shot and we feel like you say dead man walking but I hope we both can come together to fight this awful disease and live in hope we can release ourselves from this pain free. Keep strong!

Hi cynical wife thank you for your comments, I have blocked my devices to reduce temptation, going to report my bank card missing then when new one comes through my husband will take it and not give me bank details where I can gamble online. I went to GA years ago and I was there for about 3/4 years gambling free initially in the beginning I enjoyed going but then religion came in with the 12 steps and whilst I tried to to do it it was a major struggle and that is not for me and not my idea of what my god or being is. I felt it was forced upon me and if I didn't adhere to the steps then I was wasting my time going, many people left hundreds in fact because of this issue and to this day it's still an ongoing problem and sadly I am not feeling comfortable to return to the fights that take place in GA because of religion or politics when all I want to do is stop gambling and try to live a happy life with my family. However you do have me thinking about a woman's support group and maybe this could be an option for me and I am going to look into this, again I appreciate your time to reply to me.

Hi Catwoman6 I really get you and I feel your pain but I have consolation knowing that we are not alone and we are going through this together and we WILL find a way to fight it, stay strong. X

Hi ligglepops, so ironic I was just thinking today maybe exercise could be a way to help me feel strong and fight my demons, it is something I am going to start doing to help me build up my confidence and focus on helthier thoughts than gambling, my husband knows everything sadly I told him the weave of lies I made up to cover my tracks and he is aware of my debt, this has put strain on our marriage and understandably so and he has to life with the constant mood changes, depressions, arguments and financial strain, how awful this must be for him to watch and he has been so supportive that he will do anything to help me, I just don't realise how lucky I am, I have a lot of amends to make to my husband how to start I don't know but first step is admit I am a compulsive gambler and hand over my finances to him and try to be honest about what is going on.

I will continue to post my story and I hope you all keep in touch as it means so much to me to hear your stories too it helps me feel not alone and that there is hope something I have not felt in a long long time.

Take care and I will check in soon hopefully another day of freedom from this forsaken maddening disease.

H X

Hi H.

Just wanted to add a little welcome note and say that I really understand what you are saying.

This is a terrible addiction and so hard to fight. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to beat it.

I am struggling at the moment but have started telephone counselling with Gamcare, which has given me hope.

All the best. X

Same here 🙁

today is the first day of my gambling free life bookies and roulette machines are killers

im trying to call self exclusion to ban from all shops at once but having problems getting through

hey guys

i never posted yesterday and i found out today my gran had cancer, my head was wasted and what did i do?? i found an old ipad that did not have the restrictions and i gambled, i am livid with myself honest to god, why i did this i dont know but i realised now that when life gets tough or tough situations happen i dont handle it well and my gambling makes me run away for a short time.

I looked at my baby son today and promised him i am going to FIGHT this illness, i have to report in every day or when i get the urges i realised that i should have did this yesterday and maybe i would have fought another day,

The fight is NOT over and this is just a stumbling block, here goes one day at a time starting today

Good luck everyone and keep strong,

Midlandslad123 keep strong and keep coming back because if i didnt come back on this i would keep gambling thousands and i havent done that even though i gambled something stopped me during it and it was gamcare so it definately is starting to affect my mind and how i think about gambling

Take care H

x

imuzbmad wrote:

Hi H.

Just wanted to add a little welcome note and say that I really understand what you are saying.

This is a terrible addiction and so hard to fight. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to beat it.

I am struggling at the moment but have started telephone counselling with Gamcare, which has given me hope.

All the best. X

Keep Strong you can do it!!!!! hope is all we need to fight this horrific disease!!