In my 124th day of gamble free life the crushing debt is far more painful than the crippling addiction.Â
Over a decade of reckless addiction and relentless borrowing last year finally put me at rock bottom. Many times previously I thought the rock bottom cross roads had come only for me to borrow again.Â
What led me to this awful addiction is something I honestly do not know, since being a kid my Dad would always bring my down a fixture sheet to pick some footy bets, even as an adult through my 20’s and 30’s I would drive to the bookies to have £5 bet on a Saturday and that’s all it would ever be. Yet like it was yesterday I can remember the day something changed within me, it was Christmas of 2014 and I had been given a cash bonus from the company I worked for, instead of the normal £5 bet I’d happily been having for the last 20 years turned into a £50 bet, it lost of course.Â
Then came the problem…..I signed up to an online betting account, within hours I’d lost my bonus and within a week I was placing £1000 bets to try to win it back….within 1 week I changed, the cautious, sensible lad with a good job and savings had turned into a guy obsessed with winning back his money. Having an online account didn’t seem like I was losing real money, like it was a computer game, would I go into the bookies and hand over £1000 to the cashier??……absolutely not, I would feel ashamed of what they would think of me. However online I could hide, nobody can see or hear what I am doing, I became almost a Lone Ranger, staying in, not socialising, not being present in conversations. Although I knew quickly I had a problem I couldn’t stop it, the borrowing got more and more & before I knew it I had blown over 10 years more than 250k.Â
What made me stop? The borrowing power I once had, had been exhausted, every loan, credit card, remortgage and lost redundancy had been bled dry and I’d hit rock bottom.Â
Today is another day in my journey and becoming debt free. For anyone reading this who is not at the severity as me…..please stop whilst you can, the devil of debt and destruction is only around the corner. Put everything in place to stop the temptation.Â
This addiction stole my soul, don’t let it take yours  Â
Â
I always wonder how and why the addiction finds us . We're a good people and we'd never sign up for a life of pain and torture.Â
You mention your dad would always bring down a fixture sheet.....which was probably the start of the crazy road ahead.Â
Aged 12 I went on my first family holiday.  One day I took a stroll . It was a warm day and I fancied an ice cream .  But Instead of heading to the ice cream shop I ended up going to the arcade.  I won 20 pounds from a 1 pound play.  Little did I know the chaos that woukd follow for the next 40 years.
Â
Keeping on fighting mate and I sincerely hope you get debt free .
Hello, in my situation as well debts hurts more than addiction and I dont know how to stop this ,I tried as well to recover some money but lose more and moreÂ
Hi Mate
Another honest share and sorry you feel this way. When you are in hell, keep going mate
Really raw and honest share mate, well done and congrats for being gamble free for so long.Â
The more time you are gamble free the more the fog clears on your brain and you see how ridiculous it all was. Keep it going, time will be kind to you if you stick it out
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
