Trying to stop

Hi Sarah

I'm exactly the same as you in regards telling my parents they have done so much for me that I just couldn't bear to put them through all that stress again.

I was reading up on gamstop before and it was saying that it only covers so many sites,when I was coming off online gambling I did all kinds of things trying to stop,I would go to random sites and sign up then immediately self exclude myself I must have done that with about 40 sites,at one time I even ordered a new bank card and when It came the first thing I did was scratch the last 3 numbers off the back without even looking at them. 

Yeah my days been ok just watched a couple of films while my daughter was in school,she's not been too good lately she has autism and is non verbal,she's only 9 but has started early puberty and has already started having time of the months, it started 2 months ago and she's having a bit of a hard time coping with it.

Do you have any kids x

Saw you briefly on group chat.  Wished you had said hi.  I know you said shy but new lady on tonight.  Claire and she started chatting.  Sometimes you can just sit and watch.  It can help. ?

Hi lee

no no children.  Picked a career and never been very maternal.  Except with my dog!!!  He gets away with murder so probably just as well.    My sister works with children with learning difficulties and has for many years.  I know the kids are amazing but it must be hard her being non verbal.  Can I ask if her mum is on the scene?  

Also so having an early puberty as well must cause her confusion.  Hormones and not able to communicate.  Is her school good?  My sister visits nurseries but also specialist schools and she has commented how great they are.  Sensory rooms and the like.  

Sarah 

?

Hi Lee 🙂

Just noticed you saying about a bookie's a mile from home ? .....Wondering if you'd self excluded from that one as well ? , It might not be a problem now  but when the urges strike you can never have enough blocks in place . 

Not sure if your aware but there's a national self exclusion you can do , either by phoning or email ? , all the details are at the top of the page just click on self help then self exclusions , you only need speak to them and send a photo and they'll do the rest 🙂 .

Take care bud :)) 

Alan  

Just seen it sent my last reply about 20 times I don't know what's gone on there ha

Yeah her mum's still around,I also have a set of twin boys who are 6 and until 2 years ago we all lived in the same house but my daughter Layla used to be really violent and would hit the boys and attack me and herself she used to headbutt the walls and all kinds so we decided the only thing we could do was move her out. We moved and straight away she was like a different child and was happy straight away and the violence just dissapeared,me and her mum had split up anyway about 4 years ago but had to stay in the same house for the kids so everything worked out for the better.

Yeah her school is really good she loves it and the staff are all great with her so that helps a lot knowing that she enjoys it so much.

Yeah I did have a quick look in the chat,I know it's only a phone screen but I got a bit nervous and left pretty much straight away,I seen that it's on every night so I will try and have a look tomorrow in there

Hi Alan

Thanks for the message,yeah I was thinking that about the other bookies,there's actually about 4 or 5 of them about a mile away so I should do really.

Thanks for that I never knew you could do it like that nationally so I will definitely look into it.iv never actually looked for any help over the years and joining this site is the first thing I have ever done towards looking for help.

I just seen on your page that you have been over 1300 days without a bet that's amazing well done,how have you managed to go so long.

" How did I manage to go so long " 🙂 

Good question mate as I know at one time I couldn't have gone a few hours without a bet ....... To be honest I'd got to a point where I just wanted to end it all , I'd tried time and again to stop but never really took it seriously but when you reach a point where there's nothing worth hangin around for then I guess that was my rock bottom ? ...... I didn't actually want to do myself in but really wanted it all to stop if that makes sense ? . 

The one thing that really did was that for the first time in my life I opened up to my family and was totally honest about everything , how long it had been going on and how much I'd lost ....... Not a conversation I enjoyed one bit but one that set me free :)) . 

I was fortunate that I stumbled on this place and was given a wealth of knowledge and help from people who'd walked in my shoes and knew exactly what I was going through , TBH it was just a relief to me to know I wasn't on my own anymore. 

I don't think I'll ever be cured mate but I can certainly manage it and will gladly live alongside it 🙂 

It does get much easier Lee , you just have to get a bit of distance between you and your last bet in order to have a little more peace and clarity in your life 🙂 . 

I expect your glad you asked now ehh ?, LOL  .

Ha,yeah I am glad I asked Iv found it helpful hearing people's stories and like you say it's a relief knowing your not on your own.

Yeah that does make sense it takes over your whole life,even though I would have big wins quite a bit it was never enough and I always wanted more so it was never ending,I think Iv only recently realised that no matter what you win it's only a loan off the bookies cos it always goes back to them with interest.

Posted by: Lee81

Ha,yeah I am glad I asked Iv found it helpful hearing people's stories and like you say it's a relief knowing your not on your own.

Yeah that does make sense it takes over your whole life,even though I would have big wins quite a bit it was never enough and I always wanted more so it was never ending,I think Iv only recently realised that no matter what you win it's only a loan off the bookies cos it always goes back to them with interest.

 

The money doesn't matter in the end Lee , we like to think it's about winning an amount that would change our live's and give us and family security but Money's just " Gambling Token's " so we can keep on dojng what we've always done , I've had some big win's in my time but someone on here once asked me to name maybe 4 or 5 thing's I'd ever bought as a result and I could only think of one , the rest just kept me gambling for longer or for bigger stakes as the rush became less and less as time went on , it's never as good as the first time Lee

:(( .

Morning Lee

yes it’s on every day from 1 to 2 and 8 to 9.  You don’t have to chat but you can if you want.  Some great people on there.

i am sorry your daughter struggled with her brothers.  Maybe a noise thing or frustration with them.  I hope you still get time with them and Layla’s mum with her.  Glad the school is great and I guess that’s your respite time.  Alan is right ban yourself from as many bookies as you can or do the national thing.  If you are stopping forever it does not matter.  I wish I could do gamstop forever.

also wish it was more publicised to help more people.

well must get up and get ready for work.

take care lee and have a good day ?

Hi

Thank you for your sharing and honesty.

Just for today I will not gamble was a boundary I set for myself, I no longer want to hurt myself today.

The recovery program is all about healing for me, healing from the pains of self abuse but more importantly healing the hurt little child in me.

I use to think that the recovery program was going to control my life, this was not so, the recovery program was going to help me heal from the pains of my past, not just from the addictions but to help me heal my hurt inner child.

I had unfortunately got in to the unhealthy habit of burying and suppressing my feelings and my emotions.
Over time as I peeled back the onion and exposed more of myself the tears would flow and the healing process would start.

By attending the recovery program would help me understand that I was not evil bad or wrong I was just emotionally vulnerable and was trying to escape people life and situations I coud not cope emotionally with.

I could not trust myself with money.

In time I would exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.This would help speed up my recovery, this would also make me less vunerable and more productive.

The recovery program was never going to stop me gambling, the recovery program was going help me want to stop gambling one day at a time.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Hi Sarah

I will try and have a look in the chat tonight.

Yeah I think being in the house before we moved there was just too much going on for Layla but since we moved she's been great and she's happier with it being quiet and more peaceful,they only live about 15 minutes walk away so we see them all the time and the boys stay over here on a Saturday.

Hope you've had a good day

Thats so true alan,i can barely think of anything i bought with my winnings I would just try and build it up more and more and always lose it eventually