Good afternoon everyone,
Back again after a relapse, had gone for around 7 months without a gamble before i managed to cave in and gamble. I am already signed up to Gamstop but if you want to have that bet you will find a way of having that bet. I have since closed the way i was able to this so will not be able to do it again.
I can handle losing, its not a problem, i think i can handle losing alot more then i can handle winning, if you lose you have nothing else to give, if you win enough is never enough as the title suggests. I also know amounts of money differ for everyone else and gambling is gambling whatever the figure. I deposited £1000, onto a site, thinking i could use that as my 'bankroll' i deposited this around 10.00 on payday, my plan to withdraw anything i made over the figure. Needless to say by 13.00 it was at 0. I then tried to deposit this figure again but was refused as it would only let me deposit £1000 in a 24 hour window and £5000 in 28 days. Perfect cant gamble again. Like ive said if you want to have that bet you will find a way, onto another site. 14.00 maybe now on payday ive deposited another £1000. Need to get that other £1000 back, by 15.00 im down to £350. So within 5 hours i had lost £1650. More then some people make in a month and definatly money i could not afford to lose, remember the last statement. Fast forward a few hours and my balance read £3400. Perfect, had got the money back and made some, but no compulsive gambler's as we are, enough is never enough and within 45 minutes it was gone.
I can handle the losses like ive said but where is the switch in my head telling me to withdraw? Is it greed? Is it the thought of this is easy? The worst thing is that i didnt feel relief or elation from winning, there is no buzz from winning anymore, i got more of a buzz trying to win my initial money back if that makes sense.
This situation has opened my eyes to alot of things though, the first site that initially said a £1000 a day limit, perfect, well done, but the national average monthly take home pay is £2491 a month, (google), who can afford to lose £1000 of that a day, i believe the limits should be lower.
I also believe that gambling companies have to do alot more safeguarding regarding the bet sizing, as when i started i was low betting but then they were getting bigger and bigger, surely they should be getting red flags then? Also when people are depositing small amounts of money and then yes i know we can all get paid and come into money at different times of the month, but when deposits fly in on pay day they should be red flagging that.
Also and i hate these companies but at least they are doing some checks, payday loans now are asking to check your bank accounts to determine if or how much they can lend you. If gambling companies did the same they could see your household bills/payments and your wages and determine a figure that you can afford to lose.
Like i said my relapse occured on 31/03/21 and i have closed the way i was able to gamble and cannot reopen it so will not be gambling. I am determinded not to gamble again and know that the urge will always be there.
Good on you that uve managed to close down everything and determined than ever before not to gamble again. I can 100% relate to your story. I'm also 3 months gamble free...I will never return no matter what to gambling . I'm now into fitness , I do intensive workout once in 2 days as a routine , it really has helped me so much and don't feel the edge of gambling to the point of relapsing. I told myself that the pain of losing so much money on a gambling table is far worse than the pain u experience when working out...that is my motto. Exercise, exercise and exercise until u lose yourself. ?
Isn't it interesting that when one is out of cash you kind of get things, but when you have a full bank account all rationale goes out of the window? The only thing is the dopamine interest of the brain that needs sorting and your entire decision process is farked. I used to scream at myself that I wanted to know it before I gambled not after the cash is gone. That is where a new neural pathway plays a role in how we do things. The classic metaphor is the bear who collects berries in his favorite spots. But what if you put a mountain lion in that favorite spot? The bear creates a new neural pathway and starts looking for a new place. Gambling addiction is very much the same. Stop the s**t before it happens and it forces your brain to do something else.
Many therapies try and get you to that point in different ways. I found mine in NLP and hypnosis you may find yours in CBT or GamCare. It is about stopping before you start. Thinking about it afterward is like trying to remember what happened last week. Not easy.
Best
C
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