Worried about the unknown

Hi DGH

Well done for getting the blocks in place and coming on here. I can certainly remember the sick, depressive feelings for a few weeks into recovery. It takes between 4 and 6 weeks for the brain to recover and not need the large levels of dopamine. Have you tried doing some working or exercise to get some natural dopamine ?

Blocks are important to help the first month and stop you gambling. Long term it's about getting back to the best version of yourself with some work. Speak to the advisors on here and ask about counselling 

Have you tried the chatrooms on here, they really help

Have you tried going to a meeting in person or online ?

Hey, 

I feel like this, I have had an issue since I was in a DV relationship over 10 years go, it split my relationship up 7 years ago, with my current partner (if we remain together) I was very honest from the start of my past. I have ADHD also which doesn’t help because I’m very impulsive. 

Around 6 months ago it got worse for me, I had someone close to me pass away but also a huge win. 

My partner was aware, but it got out of hand, gambling more and not been able to deal with the off switch, he’s now advised it’s an issue and how it’s affected him, which I feel absolutely awful for because I didnt know. He’s told me he wants space and I’m struggling to give it because I want support also, I don’t want my poor decisions to lose the person I love, everyday this week I’ve woke feeling sick, I have a knot in my stomach that just won’t go away, we currently aren’t talking. I’m trying to respect his time but my mind isn’t dealing with it well, but I have put all the blocks in place to enable me not to do it again . I wouldn’t wish for anyone to feel as I am because the worrry and insecurity is battering me more than anything. 

Hey guys, 

Just found myself logging in to my account after a long long time after hitting a bit of a low spell. Came here to see what’s going on to find out I’m almost 9 1/2 years gamble free so what I will say is it 100% possible if you put the right work in. 

make sure you self block yourself from gambling accounts. I contacted them all and told them that I had an addiction and needed to be permanently excluded from using the sites. I opened up to my Wife and almost lost her but we survived, she supported me in every way I needed, logging into my account and checking I wasn’t slipping money to places I shouldn’t. I ordered new cards so that the existing details weren’t valid on the sites and I also cut the new cards up to avoid temptation. 

My diary is pretty long winded but it gives you an idea of the place I was in with my life. I couldn’t have been any lower and n the brink of not wanting to exist, my guilt ate me alive but I mate it through. 

Please keep your chins up and stay strong, don’t let this illness make you another victim. 

Danny.

Hi Danny

Nice to e-meet you. 9 and a half years is amazing. It reminds me of someone who turned up to my local GA who was coming up for 5 years and struggling. It's a reminder that although it's possible, no matter how far away from the last bet, I don't think I won't be any further away from the next one. I know you have said low rather than gambling thoughts but you must feel slightly annoyed after all the work you've been through. 

Your message does create a lot of hope and I guess we have sone from similar if not the same backgrounds. I gambled for 44 years and through a series of circumstances woke up and just couldn't do it anymore. I had two choices, either recovery or....

With a few near misses go the second option I'm 171 days into recovery, working hard everyday. I love the fact that your go to when feeling low has been to come on here and I think that's another thing we can learn from you.

I'm on here everyday and hope to say that for many years in the future as I owe Gamcare my life. 

@dannyp so how life treating u do u go Ga my issue was alittle different i knew it was possible when i first went to Ga in 2010 my issue was Ga was a depressing place although alot of people had periods of gamble free time after a while once i got some time away i found it quite depressing and that one of the reasons i fell off the band waggon i can now see why so many people on here have had success it was either Ga or nothing at that time their was no wassap group ot anything i could call a bunch of people that was it it only when i started slacking off Ga someone mentioned this forum it only i had known about it years back thing could have been different my other issue was the timing to Ga meetings the people who found this site early have been very fortunate i believe this was what i needed

Morning guys, 

Hope you’re both ok. To answer your question I didn’t go to GA, I worked away a lot and could never really commit, there also wasn’t the online option there is now. I tried the gambling which I was quite disappointed with, they basically told me I had done everything I needed to and accepted I had a problem and that they couldn’t help much more….I was crushed. I turned to my own network, my wife and friend. Whenever I struggled I reached out to one of them and they helped me in ways they’ll never know. Although if I’m honest I mainly reached out to my wife and god knows how much damage is still there from that. 

I agree with Stuart though, in the early days this place saved me. I was at a level of low I’d never experienced with no one to talk to. Allowing myself to be open on here gave me avenues which allowed me to receive both support and advice which I’m eternally grateful for. I just hope those I met in the early days are still going strong.

keep your chin up and focus on yourself. Get the correct blockers in place and focus on not putting that next bet on. I can assure you if you do that then the days will rack up but be careful because it’s very easy to fall again if you get complacent. 

Danny.

Hi Danny

This site needs you. I've seen you replied to a few people but as proof that it can be done I hope you can login when you have time on your run up to your ten years GF

Just reading a few things you have posted it sounds like you did the 12 steps without the help of GA

I was one of the millions that always thought it was financial. That's how my and many people's addiction works. It gets us to focus on the financials and convinces us in our own voice to self medicate by doing more as the only way out. Facing the truth and opening up to people looks harder than going back into the fog. I enjoy writing a daily topic on here under a film title and I think I've done nearly 30. On deadly ground agrees with you that the foundations of blocks, barriers and accountability are the most important steps to recovery.

Once that's in place it makes it difficult to gamble but not want to gamble. 

I'm a GA man but I disagree that I think it's good to know why I gambled. It means I can see the triggers as to why I needed to. Loneliness, boredom, immaturity, stress etc so I can see them coming.

Once you stop gambling, if you can then focus like you have on building, learning and actually seeing what a good life looks like then there is no desire to go back to the chaos. Not easy and the work you put in gets paid back

@dannyp i am great mate this online forum is a life saver had i known about this forum since i first joined recovery recovery i honestly believe things would have been completely different i was only going to 1 ga meeting away i didnt realise a place like this existed although i did improve and learned other people were sruggling i was relapsing and with this addiction is bound to happen i felt like i was being told off so my experience wasent great i understand the urgues better now as i had one out the blue 5 months back i even realised why it happened i have noticed i dont know if it the work i have put into recovery i dont let things get to me before any little negativetly i would want to gamble now i accept life for what it is my mindset has completely changed i dont let things get to me i accept them get back up even non addicts have the same issue 90% of the people i see day to day are generally quite miserable and another friend of mine said the same thing maybe its my mentality changed who knoes👍