Triggers

Well done spend.. I think boredom and upset are the common denominator for us all..

I'm sorry about your two slip ups you mention also.. 

It's difficult to change course and find new interests etc. But it seems its what we must do in this recovery 

I hope 2020 delivers you with many resources to keep yourself occupied and sends few upsets

Take care boo ?

Those are triggers , also Time , cash , and being in the vicinity of gaming . to name a few more .

Today , i was working last night , stayed in a local hotel to do a quick photo shoot , at 11 am . I get a message to say it will now be 1pm . i walked for 1 hour , then went into the nearest pub to the job that opened at 12 . got my drink , and my mind saw FOBT'S , and i had around £60 on me in cash and my card . My mind was saying [ you are going to be bored waiting for at least 1 hour , go on a quick £20 . "my new improved mind said ' No you don't , or you are back to square 1 . and also bearing in mind i would have let the side down [ all members on here ] so i sat next to the offending machine , and played a car game on my phone , then bought some shoes from TK Maxx online :-]  . that was finding myself in a situation that three months ago i would have been wiped out . I'm getting stronger by the day .

happy xmas to you all 

Hi

It is very healthy you understand some of your emotional triggers.

Christmas was an emotional trigger because of the cost expended the person pleasing and of course my unreasonable expectations of people situations and life at Christmas.

My emotional triggers were my pains not healed, my fears not faced, due to my unreasonable expectations of people situations and life, my feelings of boredom and of course the biggy my fears of emotional intimacy.

The benefit of being in a recovery program, non religious for me, is that recovery is not a fixed point of reference, recovery is healing on going issues even today.

I am blessed in that I was able to learn to listen to healthy advice, I gave up trying to control of people situations and life.

My control issues were all fear based for me.

I want to wish everyone a healthy life and a healthy new year, to wish every one a merry Christmas, and that you become a good friend to your self.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Thanks boo

All at sea bloody well done!! Really I mean it.  My weakness is online c**P.  I've put all the blocks in place just need to stop being so weak and get stronger.  

Here's to the next 100 days!!! 

?

Thanks Dave.  You speak so much sense.  You have provided me with words of wisdom over last few weeks.  Everyday is an ongoing battle.  

Hi SLW.

You will probably find you have triggers within triggers. They work on multiple levels and work together to trigger you again.

Its very healthy that you are understanding some of your emotional triggers.

What you do are the prevention exercises of discussing what made you vunerable and what situations to avoid.

I think the underlying ones are depression anxiety, loneliness, feeling a failure and feeling jaded with life . 

Feeling flush and being scared to spend money on goods are both triggers at the opposite ends of the scale. A boredom with shopping for mundane items is another one. Losing personal items was a trigger of mine... being messed around by the dwp was a major one ( they were very cruel whether I deserved it or not)

Being afraid of human contact and not liking Birthdays and Christmas was another. Hated buying presents for some reason and also hated receiving them...hated forced fun days and I would be off gambling.

The scary thing is a feeling of happiness or contentment can also trigger a feeling of being untouchable and mr big

Feelings came out of the blue I remember suddenly feeling overwhelmed in a holiday city...I had to get to the nearest arcade and escape by shooting myself up with the drug of gambling. A drug that was ruining me completely.

One of the hardest thing I learnt in counselling was my gambling was an active and deliberate cry for help. I saw no way of meeting the right person or improving my status. Im a complex mix of vanity and thinking women and the world owe me a life and a living. Reality was something I was no good at facing.

I saw the world as cold and cruel...maybe with some justification but my life is much better now because Im working with decent people and I have my priorities straight

Best wishes