February 28, 2026
Day 33. Thirty-three days since I last placed a bet. It’s a number that feels both massive and like a tiny drop in the ocean all at once. I know I haven’t been checking in or writing as much lately—the truth is, life is just coming at me fast right now. Between the internal shifts and the external chaos, I’ve been trying to keep my head above water.
Opening Old Wounds
I finally started therapy. It’s... heavy. We’re beginning to dig into the past, and I’m realizing that recovery isn't just about stopping the gamble; it's about healing the reasons why I started. Opening up those old wounds is painful. It’s messy, and it’s exhausting. Some days I leave a session feeling lighter, and other days I feel like I’ve just walked through a storm.
The Home Front
The marriage has been a mirror of that volatility. We have our high highs and our low lows. Some days we are a fortress, perfectly in sync and supportive. Other days, the weight of the past hangs between us like a fog. I’m learning that recovery doesn’t just change me; it changes the entire dynamic of my home. It’s a process of rebuilding trust brick by brick, and some days the mortar just doesn't want to set.
My Support System
If there is one thing keeping me grounded, it’s the people around me:
The Community: You guys are my pillar. Knowing I’m not alone in this fight makes the impossible feel doable.
My Colleagues: They’ve become an unexpected network of stability. Having that professional routine and a team that respects the work I’m putting in keeps me focused when my mind wants to wander.
The Reality of "One Day at a Time"
The biggest lesson 33 days has taught me? Each day is fundamentally different. I’ve stopped trying to predict how I’ll feel next week or next month. You can’t write the future, no matter how much you want to control the outcome. All I can do is focus on the next 24 hours. If I do everything in my power today—staying honest, showing up for therapy, and leaning on my network—then I’m giving myself the best possible chance to step into tomorrow with my best foot forward.
One day down. Tomorrow is a new page.
Thank you Jake for this post, it is so nice to read your honest words, keep doing what your doing, one day at a time 😊 you are such a strength in your recovery and even if opening up old wounds make you feel lighter and like your going through a storm. You are still taking them on aren’t you and that’s the main thing. Cannot wait to read 2 months gamble free, I’m sure there will be more positive things to write about.Â
@a352msyzhp thank you Carmen yeh this last week especially difficult to process the past and therapy and how it has shaped me both physically and emotionally but learning techniques and ways to change that which is the key to my long term recovery but hopefully 2months gamble free will read a lot more positively
Hi Jake
You have come so far from that dark room you were in not knowing if you could still spend time with your kids, working stuff through with your wife and sounding hopeless. Your honesty on here is off the charts and you are an inspiration for everyone. In just one month you have put so much into recovery and building your support network. I am proud to call you my friend
When you switched the gambling light off you couldn't see the door but you've found a route out. Stick to it mate and use the strength and determination you have, and I know you will. Looking forward to drawing my pension and being on here with you in ten years time celebrating 3650 days cleanÂ
@lp5vut869c thanks mate pleasure to call you a friend and read your story, you've been a source of valuable mindset and reminders to take it slow and be patient and that's something that has been absolutely invaluable to my journey so thank you for that and yes look forward to coming here still way down the line many 1000s of days clean I refuse to use the year or years because in my mind that breeds complacency I will be days clean because each day I have to remind myself it's one day at a time and each day I deserve to be clean and on my path to mending
Absolutely Jake, one day at a time and just for today I won't gamble. The just for today pages in the GA orange book are such a good way to life.
Jake, congratulations to reach 33 days GF. It is not easy to fight the temptation... Thanks for sharing your experience. By the way, I enjoy your writing style, so elegant!!Â
He is a true gentleman and doesn't take after Mr Ramsay, only with his foodÂ
@9r01yn3ilq thanks Ann, my experience is my own and one I know can be quite jarring for some, one day I will be ready to share my whole story but that day hasn't come as of yet, but this site and the people I have met and spoken to have become a great source of knowledge and also support and encouragement throughout my journey thus far. I write the only way I know how when I'm doing a more formal piece but I'm glad you enjoy the style
Hi Jake
Only do it when you are ready but I know it's going to be mind blowing mate. Missing you on the chatrooms
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