2017 My Year

Another call made to the doctor. Even though i ring evey tuesday the receptionist didnt recognise me this time. Even gave my email address this time. So if i dont get any response ill make an appointment on Monday.

Went the gym at lunch becaus eim very moody. Even though im not in a good mood i am proud deep down that i havent gambled this week

Agree with LML Stephen , if your in a mood then try and snap out of it by thinking about all the good stuff youve done over the last few weeks , youv'e made some giant strides and thats a huge positive you seem to be forgetting ? The stuff that's going on with your doctor is no worse than it was a couple of weeks ago , the frustration comes from you not getting anywhere with it yet and that's where perseverance comes in , as with gambling to have to keep pushing forward and fighting to get somewhere , I wish I'd taken responsibility sooner Stephen but I'm not dwelling on it as there's no point its in the past and we need to concentrate on the future and building a better life don't we ?.

Hey alan.

So the doctor has finally rung me back. She said she was trying to ring me on my mobile. She knew i didnt have a mobile but maybe she forgot.

So long story short i have been referred to a neureologist. I know from some research that going public means you have to wait a while to actually see a neurologist. I asked about going private and the cost and she said its usually around 150€ to go provate. So i said no problem and she will see if the neurologist does private and that might speed things up.

Im starting to think i should get a mobile again. If i have doctors trying to ring me then i think it might be necessary.

So even though its terrible i have to go see a neurologist in the first place at least the ball has got moving on it.

Result Mate , I'm so pleased your perseverance paid off :)) Maybe if your going to get another mobile then just go for a housebrick thet just calls and txts , it's all you need really and you can pick them up quite cheaply ? .

That 150 euro wouldnt have been possible if you'd gambled thi month money away , so straight away your seeing a result of you choosing not to gamble , way to go mate :))

Seeing that neuroligist isn't something you really want to do but it will give you piece of mind to find out what exactly is going on !

Proud of you Stephen for seeing this through .

Respect Alan

Ps You can see how a little mistake by the doctor trying to ring a mobile that you'd told them already you didn't have and had asked to be called at work , caused you to worry , feel worthless and ignored were unfounded feelings , sometimes you just have to ask afew more questions to make you realise it's not your fault , just life again :))

ALAN 135 wrote:

Result Mate , I'm so pleased your perseverance paid off :)) Maybe if your going to get another mobile then just go for a housebrick thet just calls and txts , it's all you need really and you can pick them up quite cheaply ? .

That 150 euro wouldnt have been possible if you'd gambled thi month money away , so straight away your seeing a result of you choosing not to gamble , way to go mate :))

Seeing that neuroligist isn't something you really want to do but it will give you piece of mind to find out what exactly is going on !

Proud of you Stephen for seeing this through .

Respect Alan

Yea i mean this has been going over for a long time , i put it off when i was gambling. So at least im doing something about it, chasing doctors, making calls. I guess in a month theres already been a difference.

Yea im just going to buy the cheapest phone. Ill ask my ma tonight to get me money. a part of me wants to go out and get a nice phone but thats the gambler inside me wanting to have something i could potentially gamble.

ALAN 135 wrote:

Ps You can see how a little mistake by the doctor trying to ring a mobile that you'd told them already you didn't have and had asked to be called at work , caused you to worry , feel worthless and ignored were unfounded feelings , sometimes you just have to ask afew more questions to make you realise it's not your fault , just life again :))

I know, when your down its hard to get up when you keep giving yourself a hard time too. thanks alan

No worries mate , I'm just glad your getting somewhere as you said it's been a long while banging your head against a brick wall , so maybe now you can stop giving yourself such a hard time eh ? :))

Stay safe mate and I'll catch up with you soon as just off to work .

AL :))

Yea i agree maybe its time to chill a bit now. I have done what i can.

Enjoy work Alan. have some chips for lunch 🙂

Chasing doctors, making calls, making decisions, sounds like you're in charge of your thoughts again instead of letting your thoughts control you.
Fantastic to hear. Well done, you're just proving that no matter what's been thrown at you, you can cope with it. A step at a time. It's not easy so stay strong and be proud. xx

Thanks guys.

Im going to try chill out for the next few days. I have the appointment for the neurologist sorted so i dont need to run out and buy a phone. Im choosing to not have a phone to help in my recovery.

Starting now i want my focus to come back. Work hard, get in shape and try and get on well with people. And most importantly dont gamble.

So my plan tonight is to ask my ma to take out some money for me. Just enough for lunch and some bus fare. That will be a massive improvement in my life immediately.

Hey Stephen I think that's a really smart decision about the phone , youv'e survived without one for a while now so no reason to change anything really is there ?

Your making plans for the future which to be honest you couldn't visualise yourself having a few weeks ago , a few good choices and your life begins to get better already :))

Talk to you soon fella !

Thanks Alan, uea ive made the decision to not have a phone and im sticking to it. The doctors stuff has been sorted and theres no other reason to have one at the moment.

Im getting some money off my ma later. The plan tonight is to do some shopping for my lunch for the next week and top up my leap card (bus ticket). Another big step being made today.

Im looking to stop gambling permantly, its not something i should try and rush.

I logged on here looking for Stephen and all I found was Mr Positive making plan's for his future , Brilliant mate ! absolutely Brilliant !! :)) .

Have a great day fella !!

Stephen

You are right to take one step at a time and you are heading in the right direction. As you can see on here you have quite a few people taking the journey with you and supporting you along the way. You may not realise it but newbies reading your posts will get some comfort from you that there are lots of things that can be done to try and to help with recovery. You should be proud of yourself for the way you are handling this problem, and we all know how hard things can be dealing with the those off-days - Good on you Stephen, proud of you.

Gam.