2017 My Year

Hi ya Stephen,

I have read your whole diary, including the post above. This site is not set up for people to stay in gambling and you know in your heart that is not true. I am Irish, lived in Dublin for 8 years, home it was, home it will always be. You have been on some jounrey. I did them exams, they are hard to pass, so well done.

What is the point of being negative about Gamcare, they have done you no harm, and probably a lot of good! How are you getting on? Did you get a neuro appointment through, the waiting lists at home are ridiculous.

Take Care

J

Good to hear from you Stephen. You sound like you're all fired up. Going by your last posts am I
to understand that you now go to GA meetings?
Hope your headaches have improved x

Don't be a brat Stephen, how many posts have you left on other peoples diaries offering them help? I cannot believe you are complaining about the lack of replies you've had - just look through your diary to see how many people have supported you and how often. You're not the only one crying out for help. Stop blaming others for your problems and take a bit of responsibility for yourself and your decisions. You need to buck up Stephen, once and for all. I want you to succeed, you know I have a soft spot for you but by God, you are so frustrating sometimes.

Was really annoyed last night. Misdirected anger.

The headaches are grand . Well I don't notice them as much as I used it to be honest. Still on the waiting list for an appointment.

I shouldn't be relieved at losing money. It's not a natural reaction.

Have about twenty different emotions during the day. Makes life really difficult.

Start again . I'm on my own. That was mostly my decision through the years by my actions.

So you are sorry for misdirecting your anger at folks who support you? Hey Stephen, at 5 am, having sat for 12 hours on a stool in a casino, I would I be so relieved to lose my last pound so that I could go home....may not be natural, but it's what us compulsive gamblers feel. Losing that last pound means we have to stop, there is no choice left, I don't have to use self will to try and fight my addiction, I don't have to continue playing and be driven by my addiction, I can relax and go home....no wonder there is a sense of relief. Once out of the gambling environment the reality of what I have lost will hit, but whilst there, I'm tired, I'm bored of gambling, but whilst I have some cash left I cannot walk away....so grateful when it has all gone. Mad? Yes, but that is my addiction.

Stephen

You have had two people reply to you above. LML who has been forever supportive of you and so kind and Twink who has taken the time to offer you a bit of tough love, which sometimes is a good thing. These people are battling their own demons but are sharing their experiences and how they are learning to cope. They are helping other people. I know how self absorbed gambling can make a person and maybe it is time that you should take other peoples feelings into account. It is never a good thing to spend long spells alone and cut yourself off from family and friends either. I am really glad to hear you are going to GA and please try to keep doing face-to-face meetings. You are obviously a bright boy and I think you could open up some interesting rational discussions on here and at GA about the effects of gambling, how it can anger you so much, the isolation, financial problems etc. I think you could help people with your experiences. What do you think?

Stephen you are a top bloke, you have been here for a long time now and like me you have had plenty of slips along the way, but the important thing is that you have not given up on giving up. 2017 can still be your year, you can make this happen if you want it enough. I believe in you!

Gameparentanon is so right, you appear to have the intelligence and there's no doubt you have the emotional experiences to draw upon.
Stephen, all I want is for you to find contentment.
You are important and you deserve a better life.
Your diary title is '2017 my year.' Remember why you wrote that and how you felt. You've still got time to make it yours and now could be the best time to start.
I, and I'm sure many more look out for your posts.
You can turn it around Stephen. You've done it before, you can do it again. Never give up.
Take care x

Have to say I started writing the above text then had to break off. Didn't realise bornagain had replied until after I'd posted.
Looks like we're both of the same mind. C'mon Stephen. We're here for you x