A new dawn

Thank you so much Stephen, here's to our next 50 days x

I'm proud of you buddy. Well done x

Dear Diary. Day 50 gamble free, yay!

First thing I  did this morning was take my wedding ring to the jewellers to see if it can be repaired. Drama, I love you. It can. I thought there was no chance because it doesn't really resemble a ring at the mo. 

After that I went to fracture clinic and has the usual long wait. Not a problem, it was busy. I found out I have also fractured my eye socket. It will heal on its own, just like my finger. I has a fair bit of discomfort from my injuries last night so a bit unsettled but nothing I can't work through. 

I joined chat for a while at lunchtime and the just rested this afternoon. I am hoping to return to work tomorrow, I have stuff I can do from home. 

I have a pre Xmas counselling session tomorrow. Looking forward to that. I contacted netline last night just for some advice about additional blocks after I managed to get through my defences earlier in the week and ended up having a nice long chat. Talked about some difficult stuff and I was pleased to be able to talk about it without getting emotional which was great. No Sunday meltdown ?

That is all really. Hope everyone has a lovely evening x

I feel really quite content this evening. I have passed a few milestones this last couple of days and that feels good. I wouldn’t be where I am without the support of people on here. I thank you with all my heart. 

I love you too. I am pleased that your jewelers are able to fix the ring. I know how sentimental alot of my pieces are, never mind a wedding ring. My favourite piece in my collection is a Silver Rosary that I got on my first visit to the shrine at Walsingham. I love that place and I've prayed hundred's maybe even thousand's of prayers on it.  My Auntie A has it at present. She's re-threading it for me because it's too fragile to wear and I miss it. I can't wait to get it back. 

Anyway, I revel in your triumphs. They give me strength that I can get back on the straight and narrow again. Thank you for sharing them. 

Drama x

Bless you Drama. The shrine is beautiful at Walsingham. I am so pleased auntie A is taking care of your Rosary. It will come back stronger and so will you. Love you mate x

Morning all.

I am starting the day after a decent night’s sleep. No work for me today (boss won’t allow it) but I have counselling a little later. 

Having spent a fair bit of time over recent weeks wallowing in my own self pity I am going to make some time today to spend with people much less fortunate than me. That makes me happy. 

Wishing everyone a lovely day x

Reading homework from counselling - A Road Less Travelled. Will get stuck in after Xmas

What do you get if you eat Christmas Decorations?

Tinselitis ?

Dear Diary. I think I am  day 51 gamble free today. It really doesn't matter much. 

I went to counselling this morning and it was good. More homework but I am up for that. I am hoping to be able to provide some constructive help to gamcare when I am no longer a risk ?

I had an hour or so this afternoon pampering the pets of some of the rough sleepers here. It was so much fun. I know a few of the rough sleepers and their dogs well. They will be  getting an early morning visit from me tomorrow. It really does make my Christmas day. 

Enjoy the festive season everyone. I love you all x

Wishing you a super duper Christmas Murlo.

I have asked for a lot of things from Santa but my most important request was that Murlo of the diaries be happy, contented and cherished like the loveliest princess who ever was.

Respectfully yours, Stephen x 

Thank you so much Stephen, that is lovely.

Just arrived back home from my usual Christmas morning visits.

Merry Christmas to all x

I've always wanted to do that, Murlo. Help at a soup kitchen, or something, on Christmas day. It's the Godd-y ness that puts me off a bit. 

It's good that you are getting stuck in to the counselling and homework. Brave to have a session on Christmas eve, when things often feel heightened.

I hope you grow to love yourself more with each passing day.

I am in a bar, drinking cocktails so thought I would get this written while I can still make sense of it all ?.

Dear Diary. A gamble free Christmas.

Today has been lovely. Just me, hubby and my friend M at our home. I have done the usual ring round and wished everyone else a Merry Christmas but it has been really lovely to have a bit of space to ourselves.

Me and M popped out this morning to spread a bit of Christmas cheer to some of the rough sleepers that I know. I am so happy that the weather is mild for them today. I would normally have helped serve Xmas dinner at the local homeless shelter this  afternoon but not able to do that today with my broken finger.

Hubby prepared our Xmas dinner, it was gorgeous I have to say. Me and M helped a little but I think we were more in the way so we left him alone and had some good time to chat and catch up on things. M is going into hospital on Monday for a procedure so she is staying with us until then. I am very glad if that.

I have reached another milestone today. I have taken my last pregabalin tablet. I was prescribed the stuff when I injured my leg and it has taken 6 whole weeks to come off it. Not at all pleasant to withdraw from and I am sure it has impacted on my mood and sleep amongst other things.

So I am hoping to start 2020 gamble free, smoke free and drug free. Combine that with dry January and a return to the gym and I should be in good shape soon.

Tomorrow we head off to Leeds for the traditional boxing day rugby league match. Can't wait  ??.

Best wishes to everyone on the forum x

Home in one piece, that is always good ?