A new dawn

So my father in law rang tonight. He has had a copy letter to his doctors that says he has a 2x2 cm hard irregular mass in the right upper lobe of his lung with supraclavicular lymph node involvement. I know this means lung cancer and I am gutted. I cannot tell him. He has an appointment with an oncologist on Friday. I will go with him. Nothing else to say really. I love him so much. 

I am so sorry for your news Murlo and the predicament you find yourself in with knowing the truth of the letter but not being able to say. I think it's the right choice to let him find out with the professionals and you be there for support. 

I too loved my FIL. We had a special Father/Daughter relationship and he treated me like a Princess. He was taken from us very quickly. One day he played Golf and got a pain in his chest and that night he died in his sleep. I miss him alot. He was a great guy. I am thinking of you. 

Drama 

xoxoxo

Thank you so much Drama. Wonderful words of comfort as always. Sometimes I feel bad that I love my in-laws more than my family but not tonight. They are most important to me x

In my thoughts murlo xx 

Diary anytime you need.. I will check as often as I can and same with reply. 

Boo xxxx

So now I have two people who have been there for me in my darkest hours and through my gambling addiction who are facing uncertain futures. It feels so unfair. 

Yes I can hear what you're saying murlo and have to say I would be burning up with anger too. I can't advise you or give you guidance.. Its difficult to know what to say.. 

You can use my thread to let off steam.. Profanities are allowed at these tender times.. 

I just hope that medical advances can deliver and secure the treatments and answers you all so deserve.

Sending my love and trust in all that  is good 

Boo xxx

Anyway, enough about me. My hubby is in bits. 

Good morning. Time to get up and off for some rugby. It will do us good I think. 

Bye thee heck  and it's up and under... 

Enjoy.. Safe journey 

Boo x

??

Thanks Boo, we sure will ??

Dear Diary. Day 53 gamble free.

I don't quite know what to write today so just recording my gamble free days for now.  

We went to the rugby today and I pretty much fell apart. The last post was played followed by a minute’s silence and that did it for me. So I missed a big chunk of the match. We won though ?.

I have had a nice relaxing bath and got myself tucked up in bed early in the hope of an early night. I didn’t look after myself so well last night and only got a couple of hours sleep. Certain that didn’t help keep my emotions in check today. It’s been a while since I have felt this low. Hopefully I will feel brighter in the morning.

Sleep well all x  

Are you surprised you didn't feel emotional. Everything you have had and there seems no end to it. Ti's about time you were well and truly cut some slack.. 

Enjoy a good night's rest and sleep.

Take care 

Boo xxx

Posted by: Boo radley

Are you surprised you didn't feel emotional. Everything you have had and there seems no end to it. Ti's about time you were well and truly cut some slack.. 

Enjoy a good night's rest and sleep.

Take care 

Boo xxx

I echo what Boo said. She couldn't put it better. I hope you rest well. 

G'nite Godbless Angel. 

Drama 

xoxoxox

I love you both, thank you x

I feel like I am living a complete lie at the mo. My father in law wants to know what is up with him and I can’t tell him. My friend M wants to know why I got so upset today and I said it was my recently deceased cat. I mean how can I tell someone who only has 12-18 months to live that I am upset about someone else in the same boat. At least tomorrow I will be with father in law when he has his appointment at the hospital. I should know exactly the right thing to do but I don’t. It will become clear at some point i suspect.