A thought a day...to keep me away.

Strong as an ox that Sbb

There are lots of ways to skin this partcularly pesky cat, and, I have to say, Sbb's approach works for me. I had a weak moment and I relapsed. Should I have done? No. I am not happy with myself, even a week on - stll very raw about it - and Sbb's words echo my sentiment and how I feel about it. I believe that sometimes, in life, you need to be told the unvarnished reality. Sbb did just that.

Now - this approach doesn't work for everyone, for a myriad of reasons, many agruably valid - but it worked for me, and maybe others, too. It was respectfully done by Sbb, but quite rightly hammering home a home truth that I needed to hear.

Greed ?

A short cut to wealth ?

Bravado ?

An escape ?

Self Loathing ?

Retaliation ?

These were my six (I am sure there are so many more).

Far from fixed, but in accepting I am not capable of controlling this runaway train, it has really humbled me.

I have no need to seek more, i am healthy, in work, and have my loved ones around me.

I cant get rich quick (the opposite however does apply).

Nobody is really interested in what I pretended to be (most will have seen right through it).

The other three have so far been a journey (only just started) about who i was, who i am and who i desire to become and what strategies i need to put in place to get there.

Many wrong turns down roads i know too well over last six months, but my compass to date has redirected me back to my desired path.

Gambling was not and is not the root of where i have travelled, but was a big controlling companion.

I really have travelled alone in recent months and i have realised that i am the only one who needs to go where i need to go.

So onward i go, it takes time, dedication and good old fashioned bloody mindedness.

But i want it so bad, i am not prepared to let that guy in the mirror down.

Sbb

It's a real joy and motivation to read how the lives of others are turning around on here.

As I approach the six month mark I have been reflecting on how far I have come.

The pleasure of buying things for my family (and myself on ocassion) is something worth holding dear.

The strange thing is that money is still tight, I really can't comprihend how I managed to keep my neck (and my family's) above water back in those dark days.

I was a liar, manipulator, ducker and diver.

Now I am putting these things behind me and trying to be the man my family and friends deserve....more importantly I am starting to become the man I know I really am.

It's a long and arduous journey, but I'm enjoying the journey and looking forward to the destination.

Sbb

Keep fighting the good fight x

Had a very vidid dream last night in which I found myself in a bookies with the first half of a big priced double up.

The rush of excitement was very real, but suddenly my emotions changed when (in the dream) i realised I had struck a bet.

Thank goodness it was only a dream, but it has very much unnerved me this morning as the feelings are as real as they would be.

Despite 177 days, i am obviously far from out the woods is I am dreaming of betting rather than exotic girls at my beck and call !

Im going to take it as a message from me to me never to become complacent and assume i have this beat.

Daily mantras and stealth tactics revisited and going to remain.

Sbb

Six months !

Things still on the up.

Contented in the main, but with niggles to keep me on my toes.

Happy days.

Sbb

In the past this was THE gambling weekend of the year for me.

The Masters and the Grand National have always had a great allure for me.

I normally organise a sweep for both in the office, but advised all that I dont have the time or the inclination to do it this year.....Step One complete.

Step Two - stay well away from booze over the next few days, as I know that my defences (for everything) are at a low when under the influence.

Step Three - Keep busy and steer away from reading about, talking about and or watching either/both.

This weekend will not become my Waterloo, instead it will be water off a ducks back !

Staying aware, staying prepared, staying clean.

Sbb

SBB 🙂

I am indeed 'back' and feeling stronger than ever!

I am actually beaming with both clarity and positivity...a new experience for me I have to say lol..

Enjoy your love of the sport....So much sweeter than an empty wallet & cluttered mind.

Have a great weekend!!

Mari xx

Life is so much better without gambling.

I dont really have any urge, and am over the looking back in anger part now too.

Its my plans and goals that engulf me now.

Bills and debts being paid, family holiday booked (and paid), and so much lighter/fitter.

Proud, Strong, and for today in control.

I am the master of my own destiny.

Sbb

Hi sbb.

Just wanted to say a huge well done on passing the six month mark. This is excellent. No wonder you feel so good. Yes today is the worlds biggest horse race of the year (and in my hometown too)!, but like you, I am able to enjoy it for what it is, look on with interest, knowing that I have already won before the race even starts, by not placing a single bet.

Take care and enjoy another lovely g.f weekend.

Our Lady

How strange life can be !

One evening a couple of months ago whilst keeping industrious and gamble free i wrote to all my old banking and credit card companies.

This morning rather than picking the losers in the National and at the Masters i found myself opening a letter with an offer of PPI compensation from Clydesdale Bank.

So this weekend i am a winner twice, via a PPI windfall and remaining gamble free.

The sun is shining and two four day week's to follow.

Life is Good.

Sbb

A stroll along the beach with my daughter's yesterday gathering shells.

Relaxed all evening watching the Masters.

This morning took littlest to Sunday School, after the service I made pot of Chilli con Carne, then prepped for next few days at work. My team won 3 - 0 away from home, now relaxing with a great book.

Later I hope to see Sergio break his major duck.

Was there a big race yesterday ?

If Carling made simple but contented weekends....

Sbb

Tiny urges, easy to put in check...mostly...but the illness/addiction is clearly still there, hiding in the dark corner, waiting to pounce.

There are no beams of light ever going to give that destuctive force the opportunity - never !

Alcohol and gambling seem to me as bedfellows.

When i drink, i am not the same force......but now and again want to and will continue to drink.

But in doing so, i give the virus a chance to awaken and attack.

My drinking is moderate and i enjoy it, but how to keep Pandora's box shut, when i do so ?

Anyone ? Any thoughts/advice ?

Sbb

Hi SSB

Think that's a really important point you raise about gambling and alcohol.

No easy answer but the bottom line is you need to do whatever it takes to stay gamble free - and to keep those associated benefits. If that means cutting all booze, then there's your answer.

Otherwise it's maybe about moderation and cutting it out from risky situations. Eg maybe not drinking more than a beer alone.

Weird one alcohol. It's so embedded in UK society and social interaction. Heavy drinking is kind of acceptable. Even though it's incredibly bad for us.

I heard recently (again) though that regular low alcohol intake is better than none. Small glass of wine a day type thing.

So low intake/moderation seems the key. Especially as we get a bit older. If we keep heavy boozing it's an early grave.

Cheers

Louis