Success and happiness lie on the other side of hard work !
Still climbing the steep road to the summit, but i can see it up ahead.
One step forward every day - Im heading right to the top 🙂
Sbb
A little reminder for myself
You are three weeks away from the half year - wow what a thought !
You have come a long way from that dark place.
How did you function ?
How did you manage financially ?
How did you hold down any sort of meaningful relationships?
Every single aspect of your life has improved (far from perfect of course), and you have plans an milestones to continue to improve them.
You have now have reached agreement with all but two of your creditors and will be debt free in 12 months.
This will go a long way to repairing your credit rating and allow you to consider a new family car next April as a reward.
You are also very much on target with your weight loss and fitness - I bet it is great to fit into clothes that were bought years ago and never been worn (they may well have even come back in style) 🙂
You are spending so much more time with children too - trampolining rather than Celtic vs Rangers game today as an example of your change!
Finally - work is going very well, and things going in your favour.
REMEMBER - All of these are 100% related to being gamble free.
You REALLY want this, and its down to YOU, nothing or no-one else!
Not only do you WANT IT, you are GOING TO GET IT!
Keep going, keep strong - you really deserve this better life !
Amazing posts, truly inspirational, thank you for sharing x
Agreed little miss lost, I think Sbb's posts are great; a most welcome oasis in what can seem like a yawning desert at times. A reminder of a life that's *guaranteed* to be better than the non-GF alternative. Guaranteed because gambling always makes any problem worse, because, with the unfortunate compulsive gambling 'programming' we all have, we always lose more than we win.
A half year beckons, Sbb and how things are turning around for you, day by day, week by week, month by month. As you say, life ain't perfect but ... it rarely is. We work with what we have. But look at how, in so many aspects, it's so much better than before... thanks to viewing and living life through a GF prism... demonstrable proof of a better life 🙂
Was there something on at Cheltenham ?
Must have missed that !
I'm winning on so many fronts right now - all because I'm choosing to stay gamble free every morning.
Dentist and Opticians today...things I neglected terribly due to insufficient funds in the past.
Walking past a shop afterwards I spotted the most mint Harrington jacket I have ever seen - with a price to match.
Took bank card out and bought it without quibble.
Oh life is good when you are clean.
SBB
Will power + Necessity = success
Weakness + Necessity = Failure
Will power + No Necessity = Failure
Sbb's rule book to success
RULE ONE - You have to really WANT it and really NEED it every day for evermore.
For me both of these are the foundations of success, they both have to be omnipresent to allow an enviroment for success to exist let alone flourish.
If you dont have these two things as a constant, the whole structure will fall as the foundation itself is unstable.
That is the challenge as with each day of abstension, as the financial burden lessens (theoretically), as does the guilt and the pain.
The need and the desire can and do wain without constant application and reminder of the above.
Therefore there are fundamental requirements to:
a) Absolutley remind yourself daily of the pain and shame you were in on the first day of your recovery....never get complacent and lose that feeling, not for one minute let your guard down - EVER.
b) Make robust financial plans, and stick to them. Whether clearing the mountain of debt, or for the less burdened saving for that car, that holiday or those expensive clothes - it crucial you have goals and visualise them every single day for the rest of your life.
These have to become a daily mantra, a full blown habit that becomes part of your daily routine.
Remain in control by reducating your mind.
Its only yourself you need to convince !
Skyblueblue wrote: Was there something on at Cheltenham ? Must have missed that ! I'm winning on so many fronts right now - all because I'm choosing to stay gamble free every morning. Dentist and Opticians today...things I neglected terribly due to insufficient funds in the past. Walking past a shop afterwards I spotted the most mint Harrington jacket I have ever seen - with a price to match. Took bank card out and bought it without quibble. Oh life is good when you are clean. SBB
Loving the positivity sbb.
It does give you the feel good factor treating yourself to something you probably wouldn't spend your money on when gambling comes first.
Have a great weekend
Deano
Hey SBB.....So good to see you are continuing on your journey.... Inspirational!
I remember buying my first Harrington jacket as a spotty teenager desperate to be 'cool' ....I loved that jacket and wore it until it was falling apart, think I had it for 10 years or more.....I'm sure you look very dapper 🙂
Mari x
Hi Sbb, your last post really sums up for my the way to approach this. There are always new 'angles' to look at how we approach this and this is one I hadn't fully thought about. Thank you.
Mixer - The secret is THINKING. I am convinced that is all we need to do. Ok - Sounds too simple........what ? Making decisions that you control ? Its harsh but you can blame everything and everybody.......but here is the rub.............. You are the driver of your bus. If you choose to crash if into a wall,then it was your bus and it's your wall. Excuses and justifications are exactly that.
We are in control - we need to accept that responsibility.
If you had your child in your arms on a skating rink would you slip ?
Of course you wouldn't !
So assuming that the protector and provider of the family is you......would you let yourself slip ?
No of course you wouldn't.
I'm aggressively fighting this and slippage is for the weak.....I'm to old, hard, wise and headstrong to let temptation even whisper in my ear.
But still young, naive, malleable and influenced enough to not believe in me.
Until now.
Sorry not happening.
Mr G bring it on.......
Nah you know better.
Just one simple day at a time with ultimate faith in you .....and you cannot lose !!!
Sermon over.
Sbb
Thanks Sbb. You're absolutely right. I'm off to bed now ... utterly, utterly resolved.
Im sorry but i cant agree with labelling everyone who relapses as weak, or for that matter those that dont as strong. In my experience weakness nor strength have little bearing on those that find a way through this. I dont see how shaming people whom havnt found their way yet, with words like weak helps anyone.
day@atime wrote: Im sorry but i cant agree with labelling everyone who relapses as weak, or for that matter those that dont as strong. In my experience weakness nor strength have little bearing on those that find a way through this. I dont see how shaming people whom havnt found their way yet, with words like weak helps anyone.
Im sorry you dont see what it is as weakness, or that is is shameful - but i do......and thats how i am dealing with it. Anyway different strokes and all that. I think tough love is required sometimes.....a kick up the back side sometimes is not only the best but the only medicine. If after all the pain you keep gambling - it is a weakness, thats not what we want to hear but it is a fact (in my book). I cant see how you can beat this being weak wiiled however on the flipside being strong as an ox you have a fighting chance.
I agree with dan - not only unhelpful, but what does strong or weak even mean - in a psychological sense?
In terms of mental states, you can be strong or weak...only in respect of something. You can't just be mentally strong - it's a macho-meaningless construct.
I agree personal responsibility is really important. As is willingness, being honest about why we gambled and having some compassion towards why we did so. It's all too easy to demonise our past when we were often confused and mistakenly trying to make the best of things.
Louis
cardhue wrote: I agree with dan - not only unhelpful, but what does strong or weak even mean - in a psychological sense? In terms of mental states, you can be strong or weak...only in respect of something. You can't just be mentally strong - it's a macho-meaningless construct. I agree personal responsibility is really important. As is willingness, being honest about why we gambled and having some compassion towards why we did so. It's all too easy to demonise our past when we were often confused and mistakenly trying to make the best of things. Louis
Sorry I totally disagree, of course you can be mentally strong, having goals (and achieving them) desire and will power are all elements. If i were to choose to gamble it would simply be down to my lack of willpower (the clue is in the latter half of the word).
Sbb
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