A thought a day...to keep me away.

Really tough couple of days with the 'thing' that has always been my main trigger.

Hurting and angry, but have no inclination to self harm by gambling.

Just going to keep my head down and out of the way, of the issue as much as i can and hope it goes away again tomorrow.

I am not going to let someone else's problems become my own.

Staying strong and focussed.

Sbb

Hey sorry to learn your having a tough time, write about it, it may help. Put your strategy on here too, this journey is your recovery, it's about healing and discovery and staying positive, we are beating this x

Hey SBB....By the time you see this it will be another day, another great day to be proud of yourself for continuing to focus, another day to appreciate life and all it has to offer, another day to wake up gamble free! Take care of you first.

M x

Thank you Anon and SC, I appreciate your comments - they really do help.

I was never going to gamble, but having to deal with an agressive drinker of 20 years really can and does take its toll.

Whilst not my only reason for gambling, i have found that my main way of dealing with the drink fueled fury has always been to hide away and gamble.

Last two days were full of the same old threats and hurtfulness, and despite still hurting me to the quick, i had already prepared myself for how to cope.

I have lived this way for way too long, and plan to start to address this as part of my next phase of recovery.

Still strong and now only 5 days short of my goal.

Sbb

Hi SBB, you deserve better. I find chat so enlightening some evenings...I realised last night that my gambling has increased because of other people's behaviour; sadly it is behaviour caused by dementia, they are not in a position to change, but I am. Thank you for your openness x

Rhoda wrote:

Hi SBB, you deserve better. I find chat so enlightening some evenings...I realised last night that my gambling has increased because of other people's behaviour; sadly it is behaviour caused by dementia, they are not in a position to change, but I am. Thank you for your openness x

Hi Rhoda - Yes if I have learned anything over the last 95 days, it is that I have the power to make personal change.

Circumstances cause us all to react, some over-eat, some drink, some take drugs, others gamble.

I have realised that these traumas are always going to rear their heads from time to time, health of a loved one, problems at work or bringing up a family......its how we choose to deal with these that is the key.

As long as we put our own wellbeing at the front of our thoughts, and refuse to react in a negative way, we cannot lose.

I know its a new year and all that, but i have read so many books this last week, i really do feel capable of making the changes i need to provide a happier more stable world for my children and I.

Sbb

Hi Sbb, and not long now before you hit your 100 days GF. I aspire to join you. You're exactly right when you refer to how circumstances can sometimes test us considerably, and in my life, as in a lot of our lives, this could be a very challenging year.

But whatever life is going to throw at me, at us, we will do our damnedness to not resorting to what we are so determinedly dealing with, day by day.

I know your life isn't easy, Sbb and Rhoda. However the character and fortitude you show helps my personal resolve immensely, and I thank you both for that.

Hi, getting excited for you, 3 days and your 100 days x

Terribly low last few days, but still gamble free.

WCAWW

Sbb

Hey Sbb, it's normal to feel low, we can't be happy clappy & positive everyday...But... Remaining GF is a small step to repairing ourselves, I think I need the down days to remind myself how I got into this mess and spur me on to feeling better even if just a little...Keep posting.... try not to let the down days get the better off you, you have your dates for counselling & GA coming soon, that is a massive step to be proud of, a step that I myself haven't felt strong enough to face yet so be proud of yourself....100 days is amazing on your own and it's just a start.....Take care of you!

M x

Keep going SBB....the low will pass...push on to the 100.

The only impossible journey is the one you don’t begin,

And how can it be impossible when the journey is from within?

So pull in those ropes that tied me too long to this harbour,

Let me set sail.

But oh those stormy waters, I remember them well, lashing me time and time again.

The torn sails of who I was, my long lost moral compass.

But this time as I hit open sea, I have standing by my side a guiding light called purpose.

Exposed to all the elements in my humble craft and attire,

I fear no longer what may become of me, as I am clear what I desire.

The passing will be arduous, through the straits where serpents sleep,

And in the islands of the mind where the odious demons creep.

I navigate by star under moonlight, putting my faith in something vast,

Guiding me gently, but confidently, no more my hopes pinned to the mast.

I have let go of who I was, where I was and what I was, gone – no more resentment.

The waves subsiding, fair winds brewing, destination – The Island of contentment.

A little video to hopefully lift your spirts

https://youtu.be/V2zxHuze_Gw

Oldhamktf wrote:

A little video to hopefully lift your spirts

https://youtu.be/V2zxHuze_Gw

I not only know this song word for word, i used to have posters of this girl (armpits and all) on my wall.

Sticking with the eighties vibe - i may go for haircut 100 tomorrow 🙂

Thanks

Sbb

Hello, just a few hours to go before you reach 100 days, well done, love post 87. Normal life is up and down, being gamble free helps us cope better with the down days. Are you still off the cigarettes? When I gave them up almost two years ago I felt s bit down in the early months it was all,the years of toxins coming out of my body. Anyway I've ordered the cyber cake for tomorrow for you, take care x