Abstain and maintain.Stepping forward never back.

Morning diary.

Superfluous, fella it doesn't matter if you are on day one or day 501 the same choice is on offer, we all stand side by side through recovery, I learn equally as you do, we are not in competition, we are all fighting the competition, addiction.

Today diary I am feeling the effects of a very busy weekend, the new chef is not really a team player, more a clock watcher,no interest in anything but his own gain.

The boss thinks that he is the answer, I differ in that opinion.

Through our working lives we naturally progress up the pecking order, when I became the leader of my own kitchen many years ago I sought to make changes to the system of hierarchy, I sought to build a team, a united fighting force, everyone gets their hands dirty, we leave together at the conclusion of each shift, we don't leave all the s#hi #tty jobs for the younger staff, my theory was and still is we all Enjoy a better quality of work life and the results are that a bad plate of food will never leave the pass,because everyone cares to much.

It works but one bad apple will spoil the whole barrel, this fella appears to think certain jobs are beneath him and every time I am not present he is the first out the door.

I will make change happen, I believe that I am a fair man,I will often put other folks needs and desires before my own, but recovery has taught me how to use my inner strength to bring harmony to life.

I get the old chestnut that we all work for folding, nobody works for free, but the truth is if you want to get rich financially don't work as a chef,there simply isn't room for greed in a kitchen.

Funny because I have worked with some egotistical billy big boll#ocks over the years, folk who would happily fall without pride, folk who wanted great status.

I hated that style of kitchen, I refuse to be called 'chef' I am duncs,a humble cook,the name 'chef' belongs I believe to lenny Henry's comedy about kitchen life, a very apt portrail of said life.

I am off to work shortly, I have enjoyed a mind clearing stroll with the hounds first and am ready to confront the effects of recent events.

Throughout my gambling life I sought the easiest solutions, today I won't except anything but the right solution, one that effects everyone it concerns.

For my recovery has made me truly grateful.

The gift that never stops giving.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Afternoon diary

Well Monday lunchtime saw the owner throw his toys out of the pram,my views didn't match his and sparked an explosion.

Pretty compelling viewing as it took me to the heart of my gambling life, kind of watching myself as Sarah questioned the whereabouts of the wages or the bank card from her purse. I would explode in a rant about anything but the question being asked.

All in an attempt to avoid the truth.

So being slightly more learned today lol,I just enjoyed the free show and went about my day, at times I could see him standing the other side of the service door.

At teatime he returned and summoned me to the office

We had a level headed talk, he apologised and cleared the road to make sure that the future is a better one for everyone equally.

Yesterday I had another lad in for a few hours to see how he liked the way we do things, a truthfully I was inspired, this lad will rise to the top of that I am sure, we will talk tomorrow about crossing the t's and dotting the I's

Days rest today, and that is what it has been.

Cooked up a lovely gammon joint for supper, so ham eggs and chips the order of the day.

Early to bed to boot.

In between I am going to read up the manifestos of the electoral candidates for my constituency and hopefully find a reason to mark a box next week.

Truth there is I don't hold much confidence in any of them lol.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

thanks Duncs for your lovely coaxing posts to me, of which I take everything on board The hard work begins now, ohh HDs indeed my friend,

As far far as the election cross goes, I feel like you I don't hold any confidence in any of them either lol.

Keep abstaining and maintaining and keep winning in every way.

Suzanne xxx

Afternoon diary.

Well today is my favourite day of the week, I get up at silly o'clock and visit the suppliers, I could do it over the phone or on the dreaded interweb lol but I commit to visiting them because it is great to see what is on offer first hand, find out what's best to buy, this week's trump card some truly incredible lamb shoulders which will be marinated tomorrow and braised for the weekend, the weather doesn't look too clever so they will be perfect.

Had I not gone they simply wouldn't have featured.

So early start, early finish a chicken roasted and added to the rest of the gammon joint from yesterday oh and some good hot chorizo to form a pie for supper, some scones baking now to fill the void in between, lol I even found a pot of my blackcurrant jam to accompany them.

Darts tonight to enjoy on the tv and the company I hold dear.

The lad who worked a few hours the other night handed his notice in today in his current job so will be on board in the coming weeks.

So today I feel that my efforts reward me.

Addiction hates it, he is sitting in the corner sucking his thumb and feeling sorry for himself, me I will continue to starve the bas#t@rd,whilst keeping my eyes firmly on his whereabouts.

I have learnt the hard way, but the medicine of recovery doesn't always taste sweet, but it's outcome sure does.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Oh and Sue at present spoiling my vote looks the best option, like old brewsters millions

I vote for None of the above! !!!!

Why can't they simply just write what they propose rather than tearing apart what 'others' say.

Keep going Duncan.

I remember my Uncle telling me (about smoking, when I was trying to give up many years ago) 'You have to learn to hate it, then the addiction has lost'. He ought to have known, he smoked 60 a day for 30 years and then stopped like *that*, and never relapsed for the remaining 30 years of his life (without being evangelical, I should add). What he said about smoking is true of any addiction, and it looks very much like you've got the upper hand. I'm not there yet, but I take heart from reading your posts.

What you said on my diary t'other day was right, IMO, about addiction looking for reasons. One sports bet would probably not have hurt, but there's too many 'just this onces' coming up at the moment and, just like the cigarettes, it is almost impossible to stick to it.

Cheers!

MM (still gamble and smoke free!)

Morning diary.

The milkman, fella I know that recovery comes with a great deal of commitment, for the first 18 months I was arrogant to that fact,I wwithout doubt foolishly believed that arresting the next punt would answer all my woes and fix all the sh#it I self brought through feeding addiction.

Today I know differently, today I am fully aware that I simply open the door each day I make a choice to abstain, I am still faced with a world I ran from for twenty years, I today can face that world knowing that I have self respect, a belief in my own actions and without gambling dominating my every thought the outcome of the events of each day are of my own making.

I fully understand that the actions of the things that I choose to do in life create ripples that effect other folks lives, the honest truth is that all the time I gambled I couldn't give a f**k who got drowned in the process, I cared for little or nothing unless it resulted in my being enabled to feed another pipe dream through a machine. Today I do care because by caring for myself I have grown the desire to care for others to boot.

Whether it is my family or the great number of homeless folk I see all to often I seek to at best not disrupt lives through my own selfish actions.

Gambling was a selfish act which caused damage to many other folk I crossed paths with.

An active compulsive gambler is truly a great danger not only to themselves but anyone who's path they cross.

Today I am fully committed to seeking change, recovery offers it.

I will take it, I am all in

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Great post as always Duncs,

The selfish act of gambling is a danger to everyone that crosses our path, never mind ourselves.

Keep making that right choice abstaining and maintaining, as I will be doing the same along side with you on this amazing recovery journey.

Suzanne xxx

Morning diary

on route to work,been up a while following the outcome of the worlds biggest fight,a fight purely for the boxing purest,I guess not the fight for the average viewer. Why? Because they want blood,guts and knock outs,that was never going to happen as I believe neither wanted to put on the show,so the result a 36 minute stand off. The only outcome for me that was good is it appears that there will be no re match!!! I am on route to work on the bus,the rain pours but I will still be super busy as the bookings diary is full. So the football season ended for Pompey yesterday Callum our youngest went and the good news is the seat next to him is up for grabs next season so I plan to purchase the season ticket and get to enjoy some games with him,truthfully the football won't matter it will be the company that does. I read a great post from Joan this morning regarding the nice posts written about how great life is in recovery making her want to throw up because she for a time couldn't see how achieving said life would be possible and today she does get that life that is on offer.why?? Because plain to see her commitment to recovery is greater than addictions hold on her mind. I fully understand this because today I have a will to recover that smashes addiction out of the park. I want all the opportunity that recovery and a commitment to its cause offer. It would without doubt in my mind be easier to give to addiction,hide behind the excuse that I am an addict and expect the world to run around fixing the destruction I would wage upon it. Recovery is not easy,it is no cake walk,there are days where the world appears to be spinning in the wrong direction,that progress is not instant.throughout my life I sought instant solutions that was often my route to addiction,today I know addiction doesn't create solutions it simply offers a new tide of problems to add to the original one. So I have been gifted patience,time to build my own Rome,and we all know that wasn't built in a day!!!!abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.​

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Thanks as always for sharing Duncan. Did make me smile that the AGM held @ your local meeting was in Gamble Lane.

As you say, commitment to change, to do the right thing rather than the right thing for you is a gift that keeps giving. Im happy to share that & go all in with you fella.

Dan

Morning diary.

Day@atime Fella I smile every time I walk to Ga,down gamble road!

So a truly brutal days work yesterday, the bank holiday crowd hungry and it appeared that they wouldn't stop coming!

By close of play we had pretty much emptied the fridges and today with the sun out I expect much of the same.

My lily came and collected me and we went up the hi#ll to get supper.

Lol a dirty burger from the best burger van in England! I cooked beautiful food all day, rib of beef,lamb shoulders, our new salmon and crab fishcake, butternut risotto, beautiful sprouting broccoli and I find myself eating half a pound of meat with eggs, dirty cheese and a mountain of fried onions all topped with burger sauce!

Delicious lol lol

Home and bed came calling not long after.

This morning I awoke at five my body worn out, but Sarah and I got up and wandered with the hounds

Peace, tranquillity not a sound, the city beneath us still sleeping, no motorway traffic to shatter the serenity, just us hand in hand watching Mr blue dart from bush to bush occasionally dancing around and around one until his quarry decided to seek sanctuary in another bush or rabbit hole.

All the time Hovis content to walk aside us carrying the rock he had excavated early into our ramble.

Home exhausted the hounds took solice and comfort in joes bed whilst we did the housework.

Now I am stretched out with them wound about my legs enjoying a top up of my resolve to continue making the right life choice.

Off to work shortly, today will be a struggle, to carry this worn out carcass through another busy day lol.

But rest assured that I will be the fella at the stove today with the biggest smile upon his face.

Because no bookies offers what recovery gifts.

LIFE.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning diary.

Well yesterday was extremely busy, the sun made an appearance and folk got to enjoy the bank holiday.

I have work today and then have a few days rest, time to re charge the batteries and hopefully source what is gifting my elbow such pain and fix it! !!!

I am saddened by Nt's departure from the forum, this is the second time in my time here that he has found himself in the position where he has lost belief in what 'gamcare ' is.

For me this forum is paid for by gambler's and I believe that it is owned by recovering compulsive gambler's.

It is each and every person who contributes here that provides inspiration, support, knowledge, advice and humility.

The authors of every thread here are the folk I have a million thanks to give because whether it is information that is gifted by recovering addicts, family and friends of those addicts or active gambler's seeking to find out how to arrest the self created misery each and every author, owner of every thread provides something that no moderator,counsellor or doctor can ever provide.

I believe addiction is only understood truly by addicts themselves and their knowledge is not prescribable,you won't find it on a chemists shelf or in the pages of a book.

The compulsion to gamble,addictions greatest power in my mind is to ensure that the addict keeps their addiction a dirty little secret.

Through the platform of this forum we can regain the power through our honesty.

Never give up writing, I am compelled to do the same.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

No bet today, why would I, the odds will never match what I would be staking.

Life.

Lovely inspiring and reassuring post Duncs to read as we walk along this sometimes bumpy path.

Hope you get your elbow sorted out very soon ( probably needs a rest lol)

Have a good gambling free day

Suzanne xxx

Evening diary.

Well I am not going to write a great deal as it appears that the forum has some form of gremlin at work, the threads that were posted upon this morning appear to have lost said posts!!!!!

I hope service returns to normal and nobody is adversely affected.

f*****g computers lol

I am without doubt a mechanical man in a digital world! !!!

Bring back chalk and the slate and bring those pigeons out of retirement! !!!!!!!!

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hear hear Duncs, it's chalk & a slate (I assume that is the politically correct term for the board now) with carrier pidgeons for me too although I don't have any objections to a pen & paper, I just can't fathom how a 2 year old can be more efficient than I on a computer 😉

I do hope the next few days gift you some answers as to the pain in your elbow although I suspect it is good old fashioned 'elbow grease' that has caused it! I was heartened to hear that sometimes, just sometimes, a dirty burger is the order of the day!

Keep stepping forward Duncs, taking us all with you - ODAAT

Duncan, thanks for your post on my thread. Very much appreciated. I love your positivity and I am delighted that you are skipping and smiling down the recovery road, embracing every day.