Another relapse, another promise, broken again

Hi, thank you for sharing. Depression could definitely be a trigger for gambling. Life is full of challenges and sometimes it really can be too much to face on your own. Do you have any good friends you could talk to? Please come to chatrooms of Gamcare and also talk to one of the advisors. They will offer invaluable advice and help . Meanwhile try to stop gambling because that will only get matters worse. It will mess up yourself plus your loved ones. Imagine losing all your hard working money plus getting into debt...you will then even more stressed on top of the current issues . Hope to see you at the chatrooms. There is one every noon or 1pm and 8pm every evening. All the best. 

@9r01yn3ilq 

Hi monkeyann, thanks for the reply, I do feel as if depression is mainly part of the reason, but not all of it. Need to think about what causes me to jump to gambling when I hit hard times. Guess this will come in the next few weeks/month. Its definitely a time for thinking and reflection.

I do plan to come to the chat rooms, most of the time my work keeps me from this, But planning to when I'm off and available.

3 days GF. Feeling hopeful and positive for the future. Have been thinking about gambling, and it made me realise how much I was/am thinking about it on a daily bases, but feeling determined to get back control. 

Planning on coming to the chat rooms. I don't have people I can talk to as I know they will be judging me.

Failed already. Feeling like a loser. Starting yet again.

I feel as if I'm not strong enough mentally.

Day 1, again. 

@ntr1cjovby Hi I'm also starting back on day 1 from yesterday too - I completely understand the feeling of being angry with yourself when you promised yourself you would stop. The way I lookd at it was what can I learn from this relapse? I realised mine happened when I got in bed and went straight on my phone. so now the phone does not come to bed with me. Don't be too hard on yourself, there is a reason SO many people relapse, you are not on your own and there will not be a single person on here who has not relapsed, that should tell you that it's not about YOU it's about this awful hold it has on us.

We live in a funny world where we an access gambling from anywhere at any time - and it sounds like you are using online slots. Back in the day people had to get up and leave to go to the bookies etc - we can now access it instantly, immediately and are constantly targeted by ads.

The best advice I can give to get you through those first few weeks whilst your dopamine is resetting is to use blocks. People kept giving me this advice, I was already on gamstop which stopped me using online slots in the UK but not those ones targeting us from overseas! I had tried gamban for the overseas ones but I had challenges due to using an iPhone. I self excluded from lots of the overseas casinos but they are crooks and one in particular no matter how many times I emailed to self exclude would not self exclude me. it's that one that has been my biggest enemy for months and months now. the only one I have been using.

UNTIL TWO DAYS AGO. I was in a chat on here and the mod messaged me about a beta testing being run by gamban, I emailed them directly, got the new version, installed it yesterday on my iPhone and can confidently say IT WORKS.

Do you have any blocks in place? I have realised that willpower alone is not working for me - so I need to remove all access - I did some research and it's all about the dopamine in your brain and how it's affected, it takes approx 30 days for most peoples dopamine to reset to a normal amount - and I need the blocks in place to carry me to those 30 days, maybe they can help you too? what current blocks do you have in place?

Hey Becky as a fellow addict and chef I may be able to offer some insight I'm currently 46days gamble free after almost a decade of addiction in one form or another. Mine stems from childhood trauma, masking and escapism. I think what's fundamental early on is learning your triggers and putting blocks in place is you haven't already. But most importantly doing it for yourself. As chefs we are exposed to addiction in the industry and it's widely accepted sadly but that doesn't have to be your story. If I may ask what is it you seek from gambling? I'd it a way to avoid feelings, escape reality or just to forget about everything and lose yourself in the time?? Or something else entirely?