Day 15.
Another stressful/worrying week in work 🙈. However, I have decided to forget it all and enjoy the weekend. It’s all out of my hands at the minute and something I can’t control.
I am off to my best friend’s Mum’s 90th surprise Birthday party this afternoon so this will be a nice distraction from work related issues. I will train it there and back with my free bus/rail pass so my afternoon out will cost me nothing other than a couple of drinks 👍.
Have a lovely g.f weekend all and look after yourselves.
No gambling, no money spent on gambling. Tick tick ✔️ ✔️
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Well done Pink Lady good to see your refocused but still with your great attitude. You got this 🙂 hope you enjoyed the party too it's good to have distractions.
Day 36.
At home with the dreaded lurgy that has been raging around my department 🤒🤧😷. That’s me on the settee and stuck at home for the weekend. It was my Birthday yesterday but instead of going out celebrating as planned, I spent it on the settee alone, coughing, sneezing and generally aching all over 👎. It looks like it is going to be the same again today ☹️.
I took a day’s annual leave off yesterday. Wasted, however, I could never have gone into work, so grateful for that. Plans I had for yesterday/this weekend are now on hold until next weekend. I also have next Friday off so that’s good 👍.
I have had a lot on my plate the past several weeks, not to mention a grievance I had reported in work about one of our trainers. Anyway, cut a long story short, we had to have a mediation meeting with his manager and mine. It resulted in him having to apologise to me (and squirm at the same time) so that was good enough for me 👌.
I had an interview a couple of weeks ago for a permanent position where I work so saying my prayers that I am successful 🙏. I won’t find out for another couple of weeks.
No thoughts about gambling. No money spent on gambling. No money lost on gambling! Tick, tick, tick 💪.
Take care all.
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Happy Belated pink lady! Sorry that you have been feeling unwell. Lots of bugs going around at the moment! Even COVID again! Plenty of rest will hopefully get you back on the straight and narrow. Well done staying away from gambling though 👏 👏 👏
Day 38.
Still feeling rough and under the weather with this cold/fluvirus. Had to take today off sick so lose a days pay, which I could do without 😞. To add insult to injury, had an email today advising me that I was unsuccessful at interview!👎. Along with another 22 people no doubt who had interviewed for one of the 4 jobs available. It’s so much time and effort to go through as well for jobs these days, especially within the Civil Service and I do still believe that people of a certain are still being discriminated against - me included 👎.
With One thing and another, I am finding myself feeling really down and worried about life again. I am trying not to, but just feeling really overwhelmed at the minute 😢.
The only positive thing I can say this evening is that I have no thoughts about wanting to gamble (as hard as it would be anyway with all my blocks in place)👌. More importantly for me is the fact I have no desire or inclination to. This is a good thing as in the past when I have felt financially vulnerable, this would have been my main trigger.
Good night God bless all.
No thoughts of gambling, no money spent on gambling, no money lost on gambling. Tick, tick, tick!👌💪.
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Day 50 (Again)
A mini milestone but more importantly this time around, I have just had my contract terminated with the agency on Thursday! Just like that and with no prior warning!!🙈🤷🏻♀️.
The reason I say more importantly is that this would have/could have been a huge trigger for me in the past, in trying to win some money as panic set in around the question “how on earth am I going to pay my bills”?? However, this time around, I couldn’t think of anything worse!
Instead, I am trying to think as logically as possible, break things down into bite size pieces so as not to feel too overwhelmed and in the meantime, use the now free time I have to quickly search for jobs!
One positive is that I have another interview on Monday for a permanent position in the place I have been working in but in another department 🙏🙏🙏🙏.
This is the worst position I have ever been in and also, came out of the blue and totally unexpected 😱. What with winter approaching and increased energy usage and Christmas just ahead of us. However, I will remain resilient, optimistic and just do everything I can to secure another job.
Take care all and remember when life throws us a curve ball, gambling is not the answer!
No gambling, no money spent on gambling, no money lost on gambling! Tick, tick, tick!!
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Your doing great Pink Lady, congrats on 50+ days! 👏 Your right in your mindset, don't fall into the trap of wanting to chase extra money just focus on managing with what you have available now. Well done
Keep that focus 🙂 and to quite a very sensible person "Remember to stop and treat yourself" even if it's with a nice movie and some time to relax.
Any news on fish ? Not heard form him on here for a while do hope he is okay.
@dazza85 Thanks Dazza.
I have had one interview, got another one to attend and I have got through to the third stage of another application so that’s something and not bad going for 63 and given I have only been out of work for less than a week but with a wealth of experience!💪.
Absolutely Dazza. I am making the most of (hopefully) some very little time out of work, to chill, relax and recharge my batteries, after going through a very stressful few months in work and then to top it off, being poorly 🥴. So with a ”treat” in mind, I went to M&S yesterday and picked up some of my favourite goodies, came home and watched a Christmas movie 🎄. Unheard of for me in November!! It did help me to switch off and distract myself from all what has been going round in my head this past week however 🥴👌.
I have been thinking about Fish also and do hope that he is just getting on with fulfilling his new g.f life and has not had the time to catch up on here 🤞🙏🙏.
Take care Dazza. You are doing great 👌💪.
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Day 72 - be prepared for the long post!!🤓
These past 3 weeks have been the most stressful and anxious time for me ever!!😱🙈. Finding myself currently unemployed (have worked since the age of sixteen)! The fact that this happened on the run up to Christmas also, when normally this would be a good time to spend more money and get into the Christmas spirit, has not been the best timing 👎.
I have got a few things in the pipeline regarding employment - I am awaiting feedback from an interview for a permanent position at the place I worked at as agency staff. I have two more applications in for the Civil Service so just awaiting more feedback from those 🤞🙏. I am attending a two week training workshop on 1st December at the DWP for a Civil Service recruitment campaign. Apparently, they will be assigning 30 of us to a Fixed Term Agreement contract for an initial 12 months, in the place I have just been finished up from, which is basically at the bottom of my road. With the hope of being made permanent after this. Naturally, the best outcome right now, would be for me to get positive feedback from my recent interview, which is for a permanent position straight away 🤞🙏🙏. The Civil Service do drag their heels however in the recruitment process 😴 but hey ho.
I have been informed from Jobcentre Plus, that I will be receiving approximately £360 every 4 weeks. I have been unemployed since 30th October and yet was informed that my first payment from them will not be until 6th December!😲. This is a fraction of what I am used to being paid. So much so, that this payment won’t even cover the cost of my monthly service charges/ground rent etc on my apartment!!🤷🏻♀️. Luckily, I had/have enough money in my bank account to pay all my bills for November and for my December direct debits. However, I found myself thinking about going into the New Year with no job and hardly any money to pay all my upcoming bills 😭. This caused me so many sleepless nights and was making me feel physically ill 🤢.
I have mentioned before on my diary, that I have the best loving and supportive family ever.
Whilst fiercely independent, on this occasion, I have had to swallow my pride and accept firstly the kindness of my brother putting the money I owed him (and then paid him it all back), back into my account, after he had found out what had happened to me. Then just this week, both him and his wife made the most generous offer by gifting me and transferring 5k into my bank account!!😲. This is to help me through the next few months, in the hope that I will secure another job by then 🤞🙏🙏🙏.
I was totally overwhelmed at their kindness, thoughtfulness and enormous generosity. I am also aware that I am extremely fortunate and lucky to have such a loving family who are in a position to do this 🥲.
My sister-in-law did say in one of her messages to me (she is aware of my gambling past) “I hope you will not be tempted to gamble any of this”. I replied by telling her I cannot but more importantly, I have NO DESIRE to whatsoever!
Months ago, the position I am currently in could have been a trigger to tempt me back to gambling my bills money away, in the hope that this would gain me some more. However, this time around, I just couldn’t have thought of anything worse to do 👎. My anxiety and stress levels were already at an all time low and the thought of adding to this by gambling (and knowing the probable outcome), just didn’t bare thinking about. Furthermore, it was just something I had no intention of doing/could do 👌.
So today on this Sunday, “miserable weather” day, I sit here, (thanks to my lovely brother and sister-in-law), with some temporary peace of mind and feeling optimistic in the hope that I will secure employment early in 2026 🤞🙏🙏🙏🙏.
I urge anyone reading this who is at an all time low, feeling vulnerable and tempted to gamble any money set aside for upcoming bill payments, Christmas etc, not to do so. Even if my brother had not gifted me this money, I just know I would not/could not have been tempted to use any of my money to gamble, knowing only too well that eventually I would just end up with nothing 👎.
Take care all. Keep getting ahead day by day by not gambling any of your hard earned money 💪🙏. Keep setting yourself mini/achievable goals/treating yourself to small rewards along the way 👍.
“No thoughts about gambling. No money spent on gambling. No money lost on gambling = Tick, tick, tick!👌💪.
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Day 78.
So……
I attended the open day to be considered for the two week training workshop commencing on Monday for the Civil Service. I was interviewed to see if I got one of the 13 places (not 30 as mentioned above), available to attend the workshop and then be given a 12 month FTA.
To cut a long story short. I whizzed through the interview but then received an email the following day (along with another 46 of us)!! To say I had not been given a place on the training! I did think before attending however, that when filling in the form, they asked if I had ever worked for the Civil Service/had any applications in and if so, where was I up to with these?
Whilst feeling dismayed with this, my Universal Credit work coach did tell me that I had received the nicest feedback from them, stating that I did not need the training course as I could get a job/am a suitable candidate for the job on my own merit. There’s a surprise - NOT!! Still doesn’t answer my question however - Am I going to be offered a FTA??
My colleague has informed me that they are recruiting for 40 new staff members in January, in the place I my agency contract has just ended. With this in mind, I am just hoping I will receive positive feedback from my interview I am still waiting to hear back, from 4 weeks ago 🤞🙏🙏🙏. This would be the best bet as this is for a permanent position and obviously better than a 12 month FTA. I believe in “some things happen for a reason” so watch this space!
The 5k my brother and his wife recently gifted me is still sitting safely in my savings account earning interest 👌. I am really hoping that I will not have to use any of this until the beginning of January when all my direct debits come out. I have money sitting in my own bank account for my December direct debits, due to come out this Monday so that’s good 👍.
Take care all and look after yourselves.
”No thoughts of gambling. No money spent on gambling. No money lost on gambling” = tick, tick, tick!💪👌.
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Well done Pink Lady, your doing amazing I'm glad your keeping into the new journey! 👏 I hope you get one of the permanent roles it sounds like you deserve it!
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