April Fools!

hey pink lady, I relapsed I am so ashamed and just wondered how you were getting on after your relapse last year.  Its hit me hard, I think I always knew it would happen thats why I was so scared all the time, I just want to not have this horrible addiction anymore

@deborah270882 Hi Deb

It was not a nice feeling 😞. Made even worse that I had gambled most of the money I had got for selling my car which I hardly drove, which was over 6k!!!🙈. I shudder now just writing this, knowing that in a matter of just a few days (I think), I had gambled well over 4k of this!🤷🏻‍♀️.

Moving forward, I had to tell myself, “the money has gone, it will not come back and you need to get that final block in place”! Which for me was contacting GamCare and receiving the free link to install Gamban on my phone and iPad 👌.

Since then, I have not even considered gambling or thought about it, other than reading gambling related stuff on here.

I WILL NOT be repeating anymore g.f days. Instead, I am going to continue to just keep going forward, day at a time, happy that gambling no longer consumes me or even exists👌💪. Currently, I have more things to worry about and the thought of gambling to alleviate my concerns just makes me shudder  and fills me with dread😵.

Please just get yourself back on that g.f train angain and continue on your journey. You have not failed. You will only let yourself down even further if you continue to gamble and as we both know, this eventually just makes things a whole lot worse, both financially and emotionally 😥.

keep your chin up and take care.

🩷🍎.

Hi Pinklady,

Came to visit the site and your diary was first which popped in my mind! So glad to read contemptment (if thats a word lol) and clear peace in your entry. I think your approach taking it one day at a time is spot on. And it actually works wonders at least for me as no added stress counting days. Simplicity is a gift which keeps on giving. 

Very happy for you! Keep up good work, take care of yourself most and foremost and the rest will fall into places where it belongs to 😊

Thank you for sharing your journey and wisdom.

S&B xx

@sb28 Awh thank you so. This is very kind of you to write this 😊.

May you continue positively on your own journey, one day at a time 🙏.

🩷🍎.

Pinky my friend. Just checking in. How you doing? I sincerely hope you've had some luck in your life. You've been through the ringer lately. Somehow you've stayed positive though. I always enjoy your posts. They are full of happiness. Shows how strong a person you are.

I hope you are well.

Fish 

Day 150 (again but for the last time)!💪.

Thanks Fish. Always lovely to hear from you.

Not had the best day. Still unemployed, still trying (but failing) to secure employment 🙈. Starting to really worry about the months ahead if I don’t find work. It’s keeping me awake at night 😰.

One thing I know for sure is that I WILL NOT gamble to ease the pain - more like add to my pain! Never again!

Take care folks.

No thoughts about gambling. “No money spent on gambling. No money lost on gambling = Tick, Tick, Tick” 💪👌

🩷🍎

Day 167.

Still no signs of a new job!😰. Another “sorry but no” response this morning 👎.

I have completed countless applications (for vacancies I could do standing on my head)!! I truly believe that the government are pushing more for the 18-25 age bracket to be placed into work. How about us 60-67 year olds who have got all the experience in the world and the skill set AND should have been receiving our state pension, after continuously working from the age of 16! Rather than having to apply for jobs and go through lengthy application processes, only to be knocked back without even securing an interview!!🤬🤬. I rest my case ☹️.

Feeling really low and down in the dumps right now as I just cannot see myself securing another job regardless of all my experience 😰.

The only positives for today is that I am not gambling and I have the best family 👍.

”No thoughts of gambling (couldn’t think of anything worse). No money spent on gambling. No money lost on gambling = Tick, tick, tick”.

Take care all.

🩷🍎.

Hi Pink lady

So sorry to hear that the job situation hasn't improved. I've had my fingers crossed for you, saying prayers so I am hoping either will work at some point. Thank you for all your support on here and you deserve a change of luck for the use of a bad phrase on here.

When I feel really down I read "Just for today" from GA. I don't know if you are in GA at all but it makes so much sense and brings me back to the present and gives me a lift. 

At least without gambling you are taking on life on life's terms, bumps and all. 

@lp5vut869c Thank you Stuart 💙. Yet another knock back yesterday and not even an interview to at least be able to sell myself!😔.

Thank you for keeping me in your prayers also 😇🙏.

Take care.

🩷🍎.

Hi Pink Lady

I'm sure life will work out like it normally does. That's a shame about the interview but I have no doubt that job wasn't right for you and the right one is going to come along. I always think that if my CV doesn't get me an interview then I wasn't the person they were looking for. Although I could do the job, like you say, easily, if I'm not the person they are looking for then I wouldn't enjoy the job. So wait for the right one to come along ???

@lp5vut869c Thanks Stuart 💙🤞🙏🙏🙏.

🩷🍎.

Day 175.

- Still unemployed 👎.

- Still not heard from my interview on 20th January 👎.

- More rejections from applications for jobs I could do with my eyes closed! 👎.

- Got the best loving and supportive family and friends👌.

- Received a lovely surprise bouquet of roses in the post today from my best friend🥲.

- Most importantly, still g.f.

Take care everyone and wishing you all a peaceful weekend.

”No thoughts of gambling. No money spent on gambling. No money lost on gambling = Tick, tick, tick”! 💪👌.

🩷🍎.

Hi Pink Lady

Did you mention you worked in the prison system before ? If so I would love to know what it's actually like in there ?

Stuart

@lp5vut869c Hi Stuart.

No. I worked as a Probation Officer in the Probation Service! I worked as a Programmes Facilitator. Delivering accredited and non accredited programmes to groups of up to 12 people who had received a Community Order/prison sentence, followed by the requirement to complete a particular programme upon their release from prison. It was never a dull moment I can tell you that! 

For the first 10 to 15 years, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Then when offenders started to use a cocktail of alcohol with c- - - - ne, we were then starting to see a lot more violent offenders. Still, it all stood me in good stead for being able to professionally use my conflict resolution skills now and forever more! 💪.

Hope you have a lovely weekend. Take care.

🩷🍎.

Hi Pink lady hope your good its getting worse in Uk my close friends have left this country and moved abroad i can see why people are turning to gambling people are struggling i have been very patient with this country small buainess arw goung bust other companies are advertising fake joba which dont exiat and the rich are shift else where the gambling is only helping the government to ruin the middle class furture and once u hit poverty your screwed either way cost of living gone up even without all this gambling they have made life very difficult and now the war which will only make things worse i have become very positive person however i i am beginning to lose it