Can I come back from this ?

Hi there.

Firstly well done on admitting it to your partner that is always such a hard step, but a key one to recovery, now he knows you will be even more focussed on recovery.

Its is going to be hard to start emotionally I mean, anger will build and also resentment from both parties, but that can not be a well I am never going to get better so i might aswell relapse trigger.

Trust me I have expereinced it all, the lieing to people, missing the love of my life every day, cutting myself alot, but I have other things to try and focus on ,work and my degree I am studying for, personally my motivation is this when I had my last relapse i could not eat for days because no money the hunger was brutal, then the shame and remorse kicked in, so when I wake up each day as hard as it is sometimes to overcome thoughts of guilt, I can not take back what I have done but I can make ammends and build a happy life.

I hope this helps, I have got your back will all do on here

This may sound selfish but he has left, I've done the damage and there is only so many times i can apologise

As much as i want him back i need to use other things for my motivation so i don't relapse ,

I intend on turning to this site when ever i feel the need

He's been gone a night, no sleep ..... I'm so miserable this is going to be A hard vicious cycle ....

Morning. You have had a really rough few days and the dust needs too settle, you have admitted you have a problem which is great well done. So what are you going too do to stop yourself? Because it's really important too get things in place, block your access. Have you self excluded? Even thou for me personally that is not enough, it is a step. Self excluded permantely, not cool offs etc, email them and tell them you need permanent self exclusion because you are a compulsive gambler. The problem I found is there are too many sites so look into blocking software as it will be a block in moments of weakness. Ideally handing finances over too someone so you have no way too gamble again is pretty key. There are times I thought if my partner caught me a left then so be it, the compulsive gambler in me was happy too destroy my relationship because gambling came first, how much easier would it be too gamble when you don't live with someone?!? Just make sure Mr gamble is not whispering anything along these lines. If you love your partner then it's worth fighting for, and too be honest his support would indeed be helpful. You may wish too explain too him a little more, and divert him too the family and friends section here? He will not understand you but he may understand the illness and situation more? You should call the helpline, they will be able too give you some great advice, I'm told this can be beaten but you have too want it, I want it and I'm doing everything in my power too fight it, well done in taking your first step, super achievement 🙂 Alice

Hi, Alice I've talked in chat room last night and spent hours trawling the net for a plan of action, i have self excluded and also investigated card only accounts with the post office and credit union..... As for partner he just thinks I'm pathetic

Day 2..... Feel less like i am having to beg and explain my self repetitively​, however he is still getting increasingly peeved off with me as i try to put things in place he doesnt believe me ......But this recovery isn't about our relationship regardless of which way that goes i have to carry on my self gambler ways and make it about me until i am better ....

No matter how heartbroken i am and how much the man i love detests me 🙁

Perhaps he needs time to learn about this addiction?

He simply doesn't want to , I'm fully accountable for my actions.... He doesnt want anything to do with me.

Nannai you are right you must focus on you. Give your partner and yourself space and time. When you get on top of this you will be stronger, you will have learned stuff about yourself. You may not want to be with your partner at that point. He is making his feelings clear at the moment, but see how he is when he cools off a bit. One day at a time.

That's what i am trying to do, but understandably he is like a dog with a bone, compared me to the woman who robbed my house while we was sleeping and that​ i may as well of cheated ..... I'm not saying he isn't right but barring this i do anything and everything and go above and beyond to be the best girlfriend

Hi Nannai,

I agree with Rhoda and it's still probably a bit raw with your partner OK. In a bit of time the situation will calm and you will be both able to sit down and rationalise this, I like to think. It's all about the actions you take now, not forgetting that, sometimes, gambling happens for a reason - so it's work thinking about what triggered it in the first place.

Just remember: you're a nice person (hey! we're all nice people!) and you don't need to apologise forever. When we fall over in life, as we all do from time to time, it's about how we get up again - and move forwards. You are starting to take positive steps in that direction and make things better. And we're all here to help support you, and each other 🙂

Remember - you don't need to apologise forever. He knows how you feel - you know what you've done. Time for calm, measured action to start to make things good again!

Tbh that's why I've drawn a line under our conversations at the minute we are in a loop

Sounds good to me Nannai.

Day 3 ....Massive argument last night with some hurtful blows i got to the point where i couldn't say anything any more .

However woke to an apology saying he was sorry he was angry he shouldn't of said those things ,

My mind is now whirring .... Is this the glimmer of hope ive been waiting for ?